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Askholes, indeed!

Someone posted a graphic about “askholes” on FB. It says:

Askhole: A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

I’d like to add, “Then gets pissed off when things go to shit but they wouldn’t have if she had listened in the first place.” I use she because askholes are typically chicks.

It’s the story of my life. This last batch of defriendings and harsh words was completely due to Askhole Syndrome. I’ll never understand why chicks who claim to be friends ask for my opinion, then when I give it they get pissed off. I’ll also never understand why people (mostly chicks, the occasional dude) will lie to me repeatedly and then be aghast when I call them out. Have you met me?

One chick in question was always asking for help and advice, but held it against me when I was right. Makes no sense. She was always needing something from me and I complied when I could. I patted her head when she would sit and bawl like a lost calf on my sofa. I lent her money (which was promptly repaid, no problem there). I helped her move THREE times. Yet she resented my help and ended up lying to me rather than breaking up with me for whatever her reasons were. If you’re done, that’s fine, just have respect enough to SAY SO. Get a SPINE. Lying like a little cowardly bitch is really not the way to go with me. I’ll call you out publicly and it won’t be nice. As she found out.

Same for the dude. After a decade long friendship, he decides that my enquiring about his life is verboten. Rather than politely refuse to discuss and SAY SO, he resented each and every enquiry and took it as a horrible agressive act on my part – yet he chose to answer. I don’t understand that, but whatever. It’s probably the pot smoking. And rather than bow out honestly, he began to avoid me, then lie about it. You’d think after a decade, he’d know me better than that. Apparently not. If you lie, I WILL catch you and I’ll call you out.

Then there’s the chick who caused much drama and gore. Ah, yes. One of the best examples of narcissistic self involved people I’ve ever met. Probably the daily pot smoking. While I did like her a lot and we seemed to have a lot in common, the lies and deceit eventually ruined it. I should have ended it the moment she started lying about seeing the dude (who I introduced her to). Then it got worse since she was lying to her SO and I became an accomplice. Then it got critical when she started boasting about how sneaky she was and how her lies were so good. Needless to say, that ended with harsh words, but it was she who was mad at me for… What? Oh, yes, for being upset by the end of a decade long friendship with the dude and talking about it. Although she was the one lying to her SO and cheating and sneaking around and being a dick about it, I was clearly to blame. I suppose it was my unwillingness to be an accomplice to such underhanded, dirty dealings. Don’t know for sure, all I got was vociferous name calling and accusations about it.

All I can say is that I think people who smoke dope daily seem to have trouble connecting with others on anything deeper than a party level. Pretty much every pothead I’ve ever known has been like this. No more potheads for me, thanks.

But for whatever reason, the latest batch of deletions has shown me that I’ve got to be more careful about who I let in. I’ve got to stop my schadenfreude fascination of people who are train wrecks. Sonya was right: I adopt broken people. And I’ve got to be more vigilant about backing off of people who lie to my face – before it becomes a scene. I have a habit of ignoring it in the name of friendship until it is a HUGE issue. It’s why when I’m done, I AM DONE. I’ll rip you to shreds and toss you aside. It’s because I’ve been hurt by the lies and I feel used. So I lash out. It’s my nature and as much as I try, it’s just the way it is.

It is my mission to stop being used by broken people and/or potheads. I just want honesty. And I’m sick of askholes. If you ask for my opinion, you’ll get it. And if you whine to me about things not working out because you did the opposite of my advice, I’ll tell you it’s your own damn fault. Anyone who’s met me knows that.

Perhaps it’s not just me who needs to be more vigilant about the types of friends they want.

If you want an accomplice or a yes-girl, I am CLEARLY not the choice for you. If you want someone who doesn’t give a damn about you and will never ask questions, I am CLEARLY not the choice for you.

I pointed out the various reasons you’d not want me as a friend in a previous post called Delete Me. I strongly suggest reading it if you are confused by my intent.

This post felt good. I’ve been needing to talk about this stuff for a few months. I’ve been waiting for the various parties to move on so I can speak freely. This is not about THEM, it’s about ME. Which is why comments are OFF.

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At Least the Drama Is New

What’s a family visit without drama? All was well up until the end, but it’s inevitable that something will trigger DRAMA with them. They make me as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof.

Saturday was OK, we slept in since we’d been out past our bedtime with Chrissy and I had to sleep off the Jameson! We got to the homestead around noon. We sat around while my mother called my brother to find out where he was and what he was doing. This is what they do all day, every day. They sit around calling each other to find out what’s going on. My brother calls to find out when food is ready. I kid you not.

So, anyway, my mother is all laid up with her shoulder being out (hello, the exact same affliction as her mother) and her neuropathy has flared up in her leg, so she’s got some sort of brace on, hobbling around. She is primed for a blow up, but since everything is going smoothly, she’s got no excuse. Yet. Continue reading “At Least the Drama Is New”

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Attitude Adjustment in Progress…

Please do not click more than once.

It’s that time of year when I start analysing (obsessing) over what the fuck (WTF) I’m doing with my life and WTF I intend to do as it goes along.

As usual, the Universe is kind enough to drop me hints about WTF I should think about changing. Thanks Universe. I needed this!

First, I read a post by my friend Green who is more or less in the same place as I at the moment. He says:

“I don’t know how long it’s been since I was ME, and not just a place-holder standing in where I should have been.”

Yup, I know that feeling. There’s too much and not enough going on. There’s too much nice and too much snark. Nothing is balanced. And I’m not here much of the time. Gotta FIX THAT.

I’ve also seen a couple of things about body image that have reminded me to STOP beating myself up for being a fat old lady. It’s my fate, why be maudlin? First, I saw the American Apparel plus size incident and I subsequently removed their shit from our store. I am not going to sell AA’s high priced crappy shirts (they ALWAYS get holes) and support those hipsters who think it’s cool to trash fat girls. Fuck them.

In between these reality checks, I cleaned out my closet of the size 10 clothes I’ll never wear again. I’m going to consign what I can and perhaps make some money to finance my NEW wardrobe. I’ll get a waist cincher and move the fuck on. Sitting here moaning about my fat ass is not really helping me have a happy life, yanno? I’m on the downside of middle age, it’s time to let go of shit from my 20s/30s. If I lose the weight, great, if not, well, WHATEVER. I’m so tired and miserable of constantly dieting. What is the goddam point of dieting when you’re middle aged? Clearly you are not going to be 30 EVER again, so why be miserable about it?

I also read a great article about being a blogger today (although I don’t really consider myself a “blogger” since it’s not my job). The article is at Forbes (and has HUGE fonts and is spread over three pages to get maximum ADS in your face, gross). I like this quote about being a blogger and putting it out there for all to see and criticise:

It’s about people who get on the stage and people who don’t, and there are days when you have to remind yourself which person you are. – Susannah Breslin

I’m always introspective before my birthday and this year is no different. BUT hey, this year it’s 11/11/11, which is pretty fucking EPIC even if the number of the birthday is quite large. Heh.

I’m experiencing some technical issues. Regular programming will resume shortly. Please don’t adjust your set. :)

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RIP Steve Jobs

February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011

This is a large post made up of the smaller posts I made around the intertubes regarding Jobs’ death and its impact on me.

First, G+:
“Yah. A man I didn’t know died. And it feels like he was family. Steve Jobs’ vision absolutely changed my life. Mac changed my life. I wouldn’t have found my inner geek or learned graphics or even met Nick.

A man I didn’t know died today. And I’m pretty damn upset.

Thank you Steve Jobs, for your brilliant gifts to the world. And for your influence on my life.

RIP Steve Jobs

-Angela
Mac geek since 1995”

And the G+ follow up:
“I know many people don’t understand the reaction to Jobs’ death. It seems weird that the death of a CEO would matter. I didn’t expect it to matter as much to me as it did. I was surprised to have a strong reaction, actually. But when I started enumerating the things that I have today that I would NOT have had w/out Apple in my life the list got pretty personal. Lessee: my career, my life path, my HUSBAND. All these things are pretty much directly connected to that little Happy Mac. That is NOT an exaggeration.

So, for all the snarky bitches who’ve been talking about my “crazy cultist” goings on: FUCK YOU. You know who you are and YES I noticed. You’ve dropped (more) in my estimation of your character. Expect to see much less of me on various media and in person. If you had any passion in your sad lives, you’d understand. But, OH, nevermind, Hoarders is on. /snark/”

That was pointedly at the FB bitches who thought I wouldn’t see the thread. I did.

For the record, I think that putting flowers at Apple stores is a bit odd, but people react in different ways. They did that for Princess Diana and I didn’t get it then, either. But I do understand all the tributes and thank-yous going around the web.

It’s not the hardware. Or the stores. Or even the man himself. It’s the brave forget-the-past attitude. It’s the crazy innovation. It’s the ideals that Apple represents that move us.

It’s that little Happy Mac that changed the whole course of my life. THAT is what we’re talking about.

Some people are too shallow to get it. That is abundantly clear. But I tell you, moronic comments like “He was not a nice man.” really hack me off because a) oh, did you KNOW him? b) can you cite examples? c) NO ONE is talking about him PERSONALLY, duh.

I didn’t know Jobs. I’m not sad for him personally, I’m sad because now Apple will just be another tech company run by a boring old dude (and good gods, Tim Cook is boring and dry and corporate. ::shudder::). Once Jobs’ ideas/products have all played out, there will be no more. That light of innovation is gone. He most certainly is the Edison of our time. The bitchy people that won’t acknowledge that are actually the ones who are playing the Mac vs PC card, not the people that appreciate Jobs for what he did for the tech industry. The Mac vs PC debate is irrelevant. As are the bitchy posts. (And last time I checked, Apple is worth more than MS, so you can suck on that.)

The bottom line is that we are not Apple “cultists”. We are people who have honestly been affected by that Little Happy Mac. We are people who have no problem paying more for hardware in order to get the elegant OS. And most PC users have an iPhone in their pocket, so YOU are Apple “cultists”, too.

How do you like us now? ;)

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Welcome to InMotion Hosting!

[Our stay with InMotion lasted about a year. They, too, expanded too fast and their services became CRAP. I wouldn’t recommend them. We moved to WiredTree.com and I wouldn’t recommend them, either, unless you are a BIG NERD. Their service is truly up 99.99% of the time, but their user interfaces suck. None of their control panels are integrated and they are very difficult to use, so they are not for n00bs. Good hosting is HARD to find. Meh.]

The transitions of all the sites has been smooth thanks to my own BOFH (Bastard Operator From Hell)! Nick has worked tirelessly all weekend exporting databases and moving files. He’s down to the last two sites now. WOOHOO! Indigodragon.net is the last one to go since all the other domains were under it in that stupid setup that the previous host used. No more. Now all the domains are individual sites and everything is installed clean. And everything is working, too, imagine that.

The Gallery problem I was having is also cleared up now that the database is untangled from my blog database and the permissions were fixed. Funny how the ITX people just couldn’t seem to figure it out.

They also couldn’t figure out that thinkweasel.com, nickmizgala.net AND taqueriaelvecino.com were hacked, which is why they were squirrelly. Hmm, might have been those FOLDERS FULL OF HACKED FILES ON THE ROOT LEVEL OF THE ACCOUNT!! Just damn. The support system up there has collapsed upon itself. It’s a shame, too, I really like the owners. But they’ve let their employees slack off and it shows. Badly.

But now we are on our own virtual server with guaranteed resources and we’re already seeing the difference. This site has been slow for a couple of weeks (of course the ITX ppl had no idea what to do about it) and now it loads as it should. Yay!

Enjoy the speedy new hosting service. I know we will! :)