Attitude Adjustment in Progress…

Please do not click more than once.

It’s that time of year when I start analysing (obsessing) over what the fuck (WTF) I’m doing with my life and WTF I intend to do as it goes along.

As usual, the Universe is kind enough to drop me hints about WTF I should think about changing. Thanks Universe. I needed this!

First, I read a post by my friend Green who is more or less in the same place as I at the moment. He says:

“I don’t know how long it’s been since I was ME, and not just a place-holder standing in where I should have been.”

Yup, I know that feeling. There’s too much and not enough going on. There’s too much nice and too much snark. Nothing is balanced. And I’m not here much of the time. Gotta FIX THAT.

I’ve also seen a couple of things about body image that have reminded me to STOP beating myself up for being a fat old lady. It’s my fate, why be maudlin? First, I saw the American Apparel plus size incident and I subsequently removed their shit from our store. I am not going to sell AA’s high priced crappy shirts (they ALWAYS get holes) and support those hipsters who think it’s cool to trash fat girls. Fuck them.

In between these reality checks, I cleaned out my closet of the size 10 clothes I’ll never wear again. I’m going to consign what I can and perhaps make some money to finance my NEW wardrobe. I’ll get a waist cincher and move the fuck on. Sitting here moaning about my fat ass is not really helping me have a happy life, yanno? I’m on the downside of middle age, it’s time to let go of shit from my 20s/30s. If I lose the weight, great, if not, well, WHATEVER. I’m so tired and miserable of constantly dieting. What is the goddam point of dieting when you’re middle aged? Clearly you are not going to be 30 EVER again, so why be miserable about it?

I also read a great article about being a blogger today (although I don’t really consider myself a “blogger” since it’s not my job). The article is at Forbes (and has HUGE fonts and is spread over three pages to get maximum ADS in your face, gross). I like this quote about being a blogger and putting it out there for all to see and criticise:

It’s about people who get on the stage and people who don’t, and there are days when you have to remind yourself which person you are. – Susannah Breslin

I’m always introspective before my birthday and this year is no different. BUT hey, this year it’s 11/11/11, which is pretty fucking EPIC even if the number of the birthday is quite large. Heh.

I’m experiencing some technical issues. Regular programming will resume shortly. Please don’t adjust your set. :)