At Least the Drama Is New

What’s a family visit without drama? All was well up until the end, but it’s inevitable that something will trigger DRAMA with them. They make me as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof.

Saturday was OK, we slept in since we’d been out past our bedtime with Chrissy and I had to sleep off the Jameson! We got to the homestead around noon. We sat around while my mother called my brother to find out where he was and what he was doing. This is what they do all day, every day. They sit around calling each other to find out what’s going on. My brother calls to find out when food is ready. I kid you not.

So, anyway, my mother is all laid up with her shoulder being out (hello, the exact same affliction as her mother) and her neuropathy has flared up in her leg, so she’s got some sort of brace on, hobbling around. She is primed for a blow up, but since everything is going smoothly, she’s got no excuse. Yet.

Saturday goes OK, we eat, we nap, we open presents in the evening then we head to my brother’s to fix his iPhoto and set up Denna’s new iPod. Unfortunately, someone accidentally threw away all his photos from iPhoto and since he never backed them up, they are gone. WAH WAH. I feel bad, but I was under the impression he was copying them to CD every now and then. Of course he didn’t. Users never do. ::sigh::

Yesterday (Christmas Day) we slept in a bit then trundled over to the homestead to fire the shotgun and pistol and then boogie home. But since the drama had been low, of course the universe had to FIX THAT. While we’re futzing around getting the guns out, my brother comes out into the garage clasping a towel on his hand saying he needs stitches. GREAT. Welp, at least this drama is new. I’ve never been to the ER on Christmas Day. :/

My mother’s notoriously DULL knives have finally caused the injury I’ve told her they would. Brother was trying to cut the ham and the dull knife slipped into his finger. The cut was on top of his finger, where there’s not much flesh and it went to the bone. Fortunately for him, I was there to drive him to the ER! My mother is all crippled and my father is too weak to be driving. I get him in his car along with the niece and Nick follows in our car over to Park West. I had to call my mother to check that he had the right Insurance Card on him since he wasn’t sure. My dad answers and asks who I am (??!!) so I tell him, ask if he’s on drugs and ask for my mother [luckily, he at least remembered her]. I ask her if brother’s card is the right one and she, of course, screams and yells at me like she usually does – now that she has been triggered, there’s no dealing with her. You just have to hang up, so I did. I tell you, those people are NUTBAGS. Thankfully the ER was pretty empty and he was in and out in about an hour. 3 stitches, no biggie. The tetanus booster was worse than the stitches.

They sit over there all day, every day, in front of the TV, driving themselves CRAZY with isolation and boredom. The least little thing happens and they freak out. My brother is not much better – he was too freaked out to do paperwork or answer the simplest questions. His daughter (14 yrs old) had to do it. They have absolutely NO coping skills. NONE. Which is why they refuse to get rid of the construction equipment that’s rotting into the ground – because it’s all they know and they can’t figure out anything else to do but use up all their savings and wait for the housing industry to come back. IT WON’T.

They all treat me like I’m a stupid asshole, yet I’m apparently the only one who is trying to make a plan to get them through the transition from construction to my brother getting a regular job and paying his own way for a change. They’d rather spend every last penny paying for my brother’s bills and letting their [few] assets rot than selling off all the construction crap and downsizing. They have no concept of managing money. They just spend it until it’s gone. They pay for 3 phone lines for the now defunct office. Why? They pay for insurance on extra vehicles that are never used. Why? They are resistant to anything that even resembles change, even if it’s necessary.

When I told my brother that he needs to sell all that equipment and use the money to finance keeping his building (paying his own way, perhaps?) so that the ‘rents don’t spend every last penny on him, his only response was, “no one will buy the equipment”. Really? Yah, I guess not if you never put it up for sale!! GAH!! He does not want to move back home with mommy, yet he won’t DO anything to stop it from happening. He’s looking for a job. Ok, great, but that doesn’t stop the clock from running! STUPID.

If either of the ‘rents end up in hospital – and they will – how will the bills get paid? Oh, they aren’t planning for that. They have insurance, but we all know that it’s shitty and the copays will be huge for a major hospital stay. But are they planning? Nope. They think that having their assets seized will never happen to them. It probably wouldn’t, but it could. If the bills get high enough. And if they die with huge debts, the homestead will be sold then my dependent brother and his dependent daughter will be homeless. Then what? I told him that I was just trying to look out for all of them and trying to help them avoid losing everything. But I’m sure they think I’m still the ASSHOLE.

Whatever.

Those people are the most sad, bitter, stuck, miserable people I’ve ever known. Especially my dried up cunt of a mother. She is just horrible. HORRIBLE. When people tell me, “your mom is SO sweet!” I have to look at them like they are crazy. She is going to be exactly like her mother was at the end: depressed, miserable, out of her mind and completely uncontrollable. My mother has already lost tons of weight so she’s skeletal. Her left shoulder is screwed up and she lets it hang, becoming atrophied, rather than doing something about it. She gets huge bruises from the slightest touch. All the exact things that plagued my grandmother. These people are all about emulating their parents. My mother bitched about her mother for the last 20 years! And yet she is becoming the same person as her mother was. Gods know she treats me like shit, just like her mother treated her. She will absolutely spend her last penny on her Golden Child Son. No doubt. And she will blame me for doing it, too. As crazy as it sounds, that’s how her mind works. It’s somehow my fault that they have ended up this way. I’m sure it has something to do with my going to college. All their problems seem to stem from that, according to my parents. In their minds, smart people have ruined the world as they know it. Being a dumbass luddite is a much more acceptable pursuit than being intelligent and learning new things. I will never understand them.

It is not inevitable that you become your parents! You have a choice!

Gods. I am so very very grateful to have escaped that fucked up mess up there. If I’d stayed, I’d be just as miserable and stuck as they are. NO THANKS. Life’s hard enough as it is without adding family crazy to it. I’d rather be the black sheep than be a part of that horrible depressing cycle.

Family. No good can come of it.

Can I get an amen?