10 years later, and sadly, this still holds. My father died in 2017, but the rest of them are still just as fucked up. Aside from a brief visit for dad’s death, I’ve not been up there. No regrets. -A, Jan 2019
So today I decide to suck it up and call my brother to give a heads up that we’re not coming up to that Vortex of Depression for Thanksgiving or Xmas. We decided that we’re going to go on a vacation instead since it’s been a tough year and we don’t need any more stress.
He then proceeds to rip me a new asshole for “turning my back on my mother.” Um, what? Apparently he’s been working himself into a lather about this “feud” going on with June. Well, first of all, it’s not a “feud” it’s just me being tired of her shit. If she wants to call and apologize, my fucking phone # is the same, yanno? (Quick recap: Last time we were up there, June attacked us one morning and called us everything but white folk and demeaned Nick. June can say whatever she wants to me, I don’t care anymore, but getting Nick involved is unacceptable. I told her this, she knows she fucked up and she can fix it if she wants to, but apparently she does not.)
So, my brother then proceeds to trot out the old family nuggets such as:
“You don’t care about us! You left!”
“What have YOU done with your life? Besides get bullshit degrees that you never use?”
“Prove that you use your degrees! Prove it! They are bullshit and you never use them!”
“You owe us. Who helped you pay the bills when you were getting those bullshit degrees?”
“You’ve never done anything with your life! Show us one thing you’ve MADE.”
“You’ve never showed us respect! You were WRONG to leave.”
“You should stop being so stupid and just be a part of this family for a change.”
“If you respected your mother and father you’d call and apologise to them.”
And my FAVE from June:
“You are SO STUPID. Why do you have to use those computers? You’re an idiot because you use computers.”
All of the above is nothing more than their attempts to guilt and/or shame me into putting up with their nonsense. It’s as if my brother is a recorder of my mother’s propaganda and he just repeats what he’s told. And my response to the above accusations are:
“Yes I fucking left. Best thing I’ve ever done.”
“I use my degrees every day of my life. You don’t believe this because you do not value education. I shouldn’t need to prove it to you.”
“I’ve made plenty of websites, ads, flyers, logos and let’s not forget art. But THOSE things obviously don’t count, do they?”
“You are correct, I don’t respect you. I find you ignorant and backwards and hateful and I’ll do anything to NOT be like you.”
“I’m forty fucking four years old and I’m not playing the Appease The Family Game any longer. Sorry. Not my fault, no apology is forthcoming. I don’t put up with this shit from anyone else, why should I continue to put up with it from the likes of you?”
And to June: “Oh, I’m the dumb one? This from someone who can’t figure out how to use an answering machine and has to have emails printed out and mailed to her? Got it.”
I don’t put up with shit from ANYONE, so why in the hell should I keep putting up with them? The level of contempt they have for me is breathtaking! They lie to my face, stab me in the back, call me stupid, selfish, uppity, disrespectful and tell me to fuck off. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of insults I’ve endured from them. Then when I do just that and I don’t talk to them, that’s my fault too and I’m just being childish and causing feuds.
Let me put the record straight once and for all. I truly hope one of the luddites comes across this one day. They think I’m evil? Well, let me tell you what I think of them. If you don’t care about my family drama, don’t bother going past the cut. This post is for me anyway. I just need to get it OUT.
Continue reading “Family. Nothing good comes of it.”