Tale of the Ghetto Paint Job

About a year and a half ago, I wrecked my Honda. I got her bodywork done promptly and intended to get the paint job done as well, but I developed this phobia: new paint = death by MARTA bus. Weird, I know.

When I got my emissions done this year, I decided it was time to suck it up and get the paint done. The aftermarket fender couldn’t go much longer without being painted. So I head over to the ghetto paint shop that I’d gotten an estimate from a year ago to see if they’d still do the work for $475. They will. Then I stopped at a CarClinix place and they said it’d be $3000… Um. NO. Off I go to the ghetto place.

I knew that going to a cheap ass ghetto car paint place was risky, but I really can’t spend a ton of money on a car that’s worth about $2500, you know?

For those of you who just want to see what she looks like almost done, here:

For the rest of you who want the whole sordid tale, continue…

I take the car in to the ghetto paint shop on a Thursday night. The owner says it’ll be ready by Saturday. I doubted it, but OK. Naturally, it was not ready on Saturday, but it’ll definitely be ready by Sunday night said the owner. Yah, right, thought I.

Sunday rolls around and I get a call from the shop. Apparently they lost the key to my car and do I have another? WTF? Of the zillion times I’ve put a car in the shop, I’ve never ever had the key lost. This was a sign that this whole deal was gonna be a clusterfuck. We grab flashlights and go over there to help the dumbasses find my valet key. These things cost $50-100 to get made at Honda. NMP, they’d have to pay for it, but it’s the principle of the thing. The owner and a couple of young kids are pulling tape off the car when we arrive. The owner is running around like a chicken about the damn key. As he’s picking up tape, I notice that my key was simply stuck to a wad of tape. Duh. That disaster was averted, however, all this gave me time to examine the paint job that was “done” according to them.

OMFG. They painted everything. The grill. The rubber on the bottom of the bumper (valance). The rocker panel molding. The antenna. The washer sprayers. The keyholes. An old dealer sticker that they should have removed. The tailpipe. Overspray was everywhere; in the wheel wells, on the trim that wasn’t painted, on the radiator. It was a fucked up half assed job, clearly done by the crackhead alcoholic paint dude that I saw tooling around the shop. Nice!

As I walked around the car ticking off these issues, the owner is running around saying, “oh, don’ worry, we’ll feex eet! No problem!” Gods. Then I ask him how he plans to do all this work by the next morning at 9am? He again reiterates, “No problem! We’ll have eet done, mon!” (the owner is from Grenada and sounds Jamaican) I’m not stupid. I knew that this was going to be FUBAR. No doubt about it.

Sure enough, we arrive Monday morning, 9am, to find the young boy buffing the shit out of the car. Buffing uncured paint. Fucking up the paint job, essentially. You do not buff uncured paint. And of course none of the other issues had been fixed since they left right after I did the night before. I went ballistic. I yelled. I called them all crackheads. I told the owner that he would not get paid. Then I went to the truck before I really got mean. While I was there, Nick advised the owner to fix the shit and we’d be back at 7pm.

We go back at 7pm and most of the black stuff was once again black. However, in their zeal to repaint and fix their fuckups, they had ruined the clear coat. I was still pissed, but since it was almost Thanksgiving anyway, I left the car with them for the rest of the week and weekend. I was promised another clear coat and the rest of the fuckups fixed.

Was that enough time? Of course not! They didn’t touch the car until Saturday when I called about it, so they slapped more clear coat on it BEFORE doing other touchups and smeared it AGAIN. When we went to pick up the car, it was better, but still far FAR from right. The dealer sticker which they simply could NOT understand was supposed to be gone had been handpainted back. I had to laugh. The car was partially buffed out, but about 25% of it is still dull and rough. There is clear coat all over the glass. I paid another portion of the bill but am withholding the rest for several weeks so the paint can cure properly and they can buff it out properly. I may request another clear coat since this one is so frelled.

But, I’ve got the car back, it looks 200% better and I’m fairly happy with the job. I’d give them a 40 on a 100 scale for initial work but as it stands they are at about 65 now. If they fix the goddam clear coat and make the car shiny, I’ll give them an 80 overall. For $475, the paint is very high quality PPG and very sparkly. Rhonda Honda looks new!

So that’s the tale if the Ghetto Paint Job. If anyone would like to have one for your very own, contact me and I’ll be happy to refer you. LOL