Tale of the April Fool’s Wedding

So, we decide to thumb our noses at the Universe and get married on April Fool’s day. Boy, did we get ours in spades!! LOL

April Fools Wedding
April Fools Wedding

After much stress and craziness all week, our wedding day arrives and everything is pretty much on schedule. I’m doing some prep work in the kitchen and everything is coming along fine.

We noticed that the toilet was acting clogged, so Nick was in there plunging away. Then the stupid thing appeared to be working, albeit a little oddly. A few minutes later, Nick comes into the kitchen and says ” I can hear the sump pump running when I’m in the office, it must be from the rain yesterday.” Now, I knew it only rained like one quarter of an inch the day before, so that could not be the reason for the pump running…however, a gushing pipe from the toilet certainly could be the reason. I sent him down there and sure enough, there was water gushing from the big pipe out of the toilet.

It was about 1pm at this point and I was starting to get just a bit stressed out. We proceed to call our various homeowner friends for plumber referrals and then our friend Beth tells us to call her hubby Robert – who can fix anything. We call Robert and he drops everything to run over here and investigate the problem. He removes the toilet, snakes the pipe and hits a solid block. We’re SO SCREWED.

Keep in mind that my wedding was held here, in our home and I was expecting about a dozen people in just a few hours. Now my stress level is getting on up into the orange zone. We put the bathroom back together and make a sign telling my guests to not flush and we proceed with getting everything else ready. It’s now about 5pm, so Nick rushes over to the hotel to pick up my parents for the ceremony which was to begin at 6pm.

Well, 45 minutes pass and I get a call from Nick. He’s at the Holiday Inn Decatur, where he deposited my parents 2 hours before and the dumbasses at the front desk insist that they were not registered at that hotel. They’ve looked at the registers, they’ve dug thru files, nothing. (Oh, YES, letters will be written about that little fuckup. Fucking slack assed employees. The room was comped as a bribe by the Front Desk Mgr, but letters will be written anyway.) In addition to “losing” my parents, there was a furry convention going on at this hotel, which heightened the surreal quality to the whole thing. :P

Now I’m in the red zone and about to have a breakdown. We go back and forth with phone calls and then finally at about 6:05pm, Nick calls back and he has the ‘rents in tow. Caroline, Nee and Rebecca are with me, feeding me chocolate vodka shots and trying to distract me to keep me from losing it. I have to say, Nee’s new piercings did distract me for a few minutes!

Nick and the ‘rents get here at around 6:25pm (the wedding was supposed to start at 6, remember) and then Nick has to get shaved and dressed.

In between all this mess, the sliver rings we bought totally became etched when I put them in the cleansing salt water bath and our Best Man (Cody) had not shown up. (At least the rings will be replaced without hassle.)

So, since Cody obviously had better things to do than honour his commitment to stand with us, I tapped Mickey, which was really my choice to begin with (aside from Andy, who is in CA). I didn’t have time to be angry with Cody then, but now I’m quite peeved.

In any case, the wedding got started at around 7pm, in a void moon (not recommended for stuff such as this) and I hear it was very nice. I couldn’t tell you since I was in a haze of stress. I vaguely remember my Dad walking me out, being freaked out by the large crowd of people and cameras and I remember standing there a very long time, but that’s about it.

I came to a few minutes after the ceremony and I clearly remember Jody being my Elvis and singing “Love Me” to us. It was FABulous. Really! Thank you Jody, so much for doing the most excellent Elvis for my wedding. It’s the best present ever! [note: we wanted to get married in Vegas by an Elvis in a lighted suit, which is why Jody did Elvis for us.]

I’d also like to thank Beth and Rebecca for handling the nibblies, Robert for his mad plumbing skillz and champagne opening skillz, the Right Reverend Caroline for her wonderful officiating, my parents for coming all the way down here for the nuptials, Russ for his Porno Zoom videocam work, Mickey for stepping up and being a great Best Man for us and everyone who took time out of their work week to come here and celebrate with us. We appreciate it!

You guys made our wedding truly special and as I said that day (several times): we are blessed to have such great friends to support us in good plumbing and bad, lost parents and found and everything in between. :-)

Despite all the fuckups and weirdness of our day, we think our wedding was just great! We’ll have pix up as soon as we get them all assembled. [And for the 10th Anniversary, I actually got around to adding the pix to the gallery. HA!!]

Also, it’s fun to note that we spent the next day (supposedly our honeymoon) having the septic tank pumped only to discover that it’s fine and the main pipe must be replaced… 2 hours and $1500 later, our problems are repaired and we are back to flushy goodness. Aaaah, septic tank work is soooooo romantic! I just couldn’t keep my hands off Nick the whole time!!! LOL

Some folks like to start with a clean slate, we like to start with a clean septic tank. To each his own! :-D

One Reply to “Tale of the April Fool’s Wedding”

  1. i am glad to hear that flushy goodness has returned to your world, and i was thrilled to be a part of this new chapter in your lives.

    dru will be here in 10 hours!

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