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Doing Better…

Not shiny and happy, but better. That big dip has been thankfully short lived.

Part of it is some good luck at getting an iPhone 5c for $76 and then finding a tokidoki case. Another part is Nick is feeling better, which naturally makes me feel better.

Some of it can be attributed to resolving to simply take care of myself and saying BUGGER OFF to the various medical people who have let me down. Between my research skills, knowing my body and some input from Amy, I think I can handle the dehisced incision myself.

To cover the backstory:

My dermatologist did not get the messages I was leaving her all last week due to idiots in the two offices she works in, so she never called me back until Friday night after 9pm. ?? When she did, she basically told me that she had no idea what to do about the incision and I should call the Wound Care Clinic for an appointment. Nice! Thanks medical person I’ve seen FOR YEARS. >:( So, Monday morning, I called this clinic and the nurse informed me that if I don’t have insurance, I’d have to pay $700 just to walk through the door. I laughed at her and said, what? She reiterated the $700 fee. I asked why it was so much and of course she had no idea but said, “well, you have to pay the hospital and the doctors”. Um. Yeah. I told her that was pure-T bullshit and hung up. Then I called another clinic – with the SAME motherfucking doctor – and their initial fee was $225. Much better, but still.

Due to these fees and bullshit, I’m very hesitant to pay for a “wound specialist” to look at a NON-infected wound, tell me I’m doing fine and sending me on my way. Which is what I feel will happen.

SO. I take care of myself, as usual.

The coordinator in Mexico called me yesterday to see how I was doing. Which is great, I appreciate it, but it devolved into her subtly implying that my slow weight loss is due to my not following the whacked out meal plan set forth by their useless dietician. Grrrrr. I’ve put the diet rant into its own post (below).

Again, it’s that deeply rooted belief that the reason Americans are fat is solely due to eating fast food and too much sugar. I resent it and it REALLY pisses me off. I was pretty pissed when I finally got off the phone. Just goes to show: NEVER believe any person whose job it is to keep you happy. NEVER. They will lie to do their job (keep you happy while you are in their care) and you will eventually see their true feelings shine through the bullshit. It’s a sad but true fact. (Anyone in Mexico reading this: I am not mad at any person, I’m mad at the overall belief that being fat and/or weight loss is strictly a factor of diet. IT IS NOT. There are REAMS of facts to back this up. NOR is this a slam at the ladies who coordinate things. They are VERY good at their jobs and very caring. I am just a very perceptive person and see through bullshit more than the average person.)

But oddly, getting pissed off about that attitude has helped pull me out of the doldrums, so hey, thanks for that, I guess.

I also had some good info from a scientist friend who did some digging and confirmed that actually, I’m on target for this procedure. She found anecdotal evidence that 15-30# was typical for the first month and 5-20# was average for the following months after VSG. The people in Mexico were just blowing hot air up my skirt with the claims of 40# in the first month – again, NEVER believe people who are paid to keep you happy. They’ll say anything. It’s not malicious, it’s their job.

In typical ME fashion, information soothes me and gets me off my ass. I feel capable of taking care of this wound and managing my weight in this new normal. I’m still not happy that I’ve lost most of my enjoyments of life (good food, good wine, cooking), but I know they’ll come back in a few months. I will continue to bitch, but overall, I’m holding on to the hope that my life WILL get back to normal and I’ll get back the few things that make me happy.

In the meantime, I’ve got a truly great partner to help me get through it and to support me when I need it. Nick has been AMAZING during all this and I have not said enough how much I could NOT have gotten through this without him. He is my rock. I love you, baby! XOXOXO

I’ll have a video for you guys by the end of the week. :)

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A Little Diet Rant

This turned into its own post, a spin off of the Doing Better post. I am opinionated, yes, but I think common sense would tell anyone that the wacky diet proposed by this dietician is not really logical or even doable. I tossed it out long before I went to Mexico for the surgery and I suggest YOU toss it out, too. The coordinator calls me noncompliant, I call me SMART for being concerned about overall nutrition. I am not sorry for dissing their suggested diet and I am not sorry for sticking to my guns and doing things the way I feel is best for me. I know me better than any of YOU, so I will take care of myself as I see fit. I do respect professionals, however, I do NOT simply do as I’m told without research and deciding if it is the right path FOR ME.

People who live in this country with its poor one-size-fits-all healthcare would do well to follow my example. You must take the reins, be your own advocate and do what YOU feel is best for YOU.

I’ve pointed out to the Mexican team SEVERAL TIMES that I will NOT follow a meal plan that revolves around fruit, yogurt, smoothies and potted meat. It’s crazy and I’m not doing it. I’ve said that from DAY ONE. The coordinator implied that my slow-ish weigh loss was due to my not following their wacky diet, and went so far as to recommend that I contact that dietician and ask for help! LOL Right, let’s call the person who makes a diet for VSG patients that has meals consisting of 3+ cups volume and are laden with fruit (sugar, no nutrients) and rely on yogurt every meal. NEIN. I don’t know what planet that dietician lives on, but NO VSG patient can eat that much, like, EVER. 5 oz pouch can’t hold 2-3 cups. DUH.

Here are a coupla screen shots of the offending “diet”. This one is from the pureed section with the infamous 1 cup potted meat (deviled ham, which is 90% FAT, this is like FOUR cans):
Potted meat! YUM!
Here is a daily plan for the last few weeks called “Soft Foods” which is mostly fruit and yogurt and identical to the pureed foods diet:
Daily diet plan. Crazy.

For the record, you should NOT continue to eat pureed or soft foods indefinitely. THIS is how you’ll gain weight, since you never reach satiety. This diet is POOR. I’m not eating anything pureed at this point. I am still eating soft foods, but since pretty much all I can hold is protein, it’s mostly baked fish, canned chicken, ground chicken and veg where I can fit them in. Oh, and scrambled eggs for breakfast. I’ve found that egg beaters are awesome for this, so I have beaters with salsa. I really don’t like sweets for breakfast. I have my 30gm protein shake (Premier Protein, not cheap, but palatable) at 8pm every night. No other proteins yet and certainly few carbs – although I have had mac and cheese twice with NO REGRETS. I am averaging between 60-70 grams protein a day. My diet is FINE. Read this book for more about “mushy food syndrome”.

I have had a very smooth surgery (other than the dehisced incision) and I’ve moved through the recovery weeks well. I am not typical, but I feel that my diet has been moving along at its own pace and it’s FAR from done. I think I probably am typical, and if patients would eat a better diet and not be married to the diet given by this dietician, they’d move faster, too. I have no proof of this, but it’s my feeling.

I am on track for the average weight loss of VSG patients: 1st month is 15-30#, following months are 5-20#. I am confident that my diet has nothing whatsoever to do with my perceived slow weight loss, because it is not slow, it’s typical. I am just impatient and I want the weight GONE, like, yesterday, so it feels slow to me.

As always, I only write about MY experience and your mileage may vary (YMMV). Any advice given here is geared towards reminding you that YOU know your body better than anyone else and therefore YOU have a say in how things progress. I will not apologize for doing things my way, because it’s my body.

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Foods update

So, I’m at the end of week three and I’ve been transitioning to more regular foods. No more pureeing, really.

I know this is still technically the puree phase, but I’ve found that getting soft foods and chewing thoroughly has been fine. My Pouchie has given me ZERO grief. I’ve also begun taking capsules without issue. The only time I’ve felt reflux is when I missed a dose of Prilosec, so I DO recommend taking that shit twice a day for six weeks like the Dr suggests. I’ve been cleared to try pills in addition to capsules. They are fine.

I’ve been eating these things**:
– soft scrambled eggs
– cottage cheese
– canned veg, which is already cooked and soft: spinach, rutabagas, greens, beets, mushrooms, squash, carrots and green beans (no peas or corn)
– refried beans (with cheese, salsa verde and sour cream)
– hummus, salmon dip (Ritz crackers are fine)
– meats: braunschweiger, canned chicken, canned salmon which I like more than tuna
– ricotta, which has LOTS of protein: 7 gm per 1/4 cup!
– Spaghettios were digested fine, but they are NOT tasty. Very bland. Tossed it.
– instant potatoes were fine, but VERY filling. Not doing this very much.
– mac and cheese was fine. No issues. Not eating this much, but it’s a nice break from straight up chicken.
– canned fruit (reminds me of my childhood!)
– of course yogurt, the occasional smoothie and protein shakes (which I restrict to ONE per day)

**NOTE: I’m not gorging on any of this. I eat protein first then add in a bit of veg for variety. I know canned veg has sodium, but it’s not like I’m eating much of it. The canned chix and salmon have nominal sodium. I’m listing ALL the items I’ve been trying, but that does not mean I’m eating gobs. FAR from it.

I’ve been averaging about 50 grams of protein a day, and yes, I know that needs to be more like 80 grams. I’m working on it! I’ve found that I can only eat about 1/2 cup straight up protein at a time – slowly. Add to that my complete lack of appetite and it’s hard to get in the protein I should. I try to have straight protein (meat, chix or fish) three times a day, plus one 30gm protein shake. Yesterday I got about 68gm, which I’ll call victory.

I don’t know if I’m an anomaly or what, but my Pouchie has been fine with moving on to real foods. Only occasionally I’ll feel like it’s overworked or too full. I’ve had no puking or pain, just the occasional FULL feeling. Which I suppose is normal. They told me that “irritation” might happen with starting to take capsules, but I’ve had none of that, either. I’ve not been pushing to get back to real foods, I’ve just felt ready. So if I feel ready, I give it a go. So far, so good.

I don’t really know if my overall experience is typical or atypical. The surgery wasn’t bad, I didn’t have gas pains, I did not take pain meds after I left hospital, I’ve not had any stomach issues, all my incisions are healing nicely except one that is lagging behind. I’m not even at week three and I’m almost back to normal. Is that weird? I’ll have to ask Veronica. RE: Veronica says YES that I’m an usual case, so keep this in mind when comparing yourself to me.

Since I feel like I’m a bit of a quick mover, I’ll again give the caveat: Your Mileage May Vary. I can’t say whether anyone else will have such an easy time or will move along as quickly as I have. Just listen to your body and go with the flow.

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Week Three foods

FYI: Latest vlog post is up on my YouTube channel.

The next two weeks (3-4) are listed as “pureed foods”. The main difference here is that now you can have real protein that is pureed, like chicken or whatever. I never did lick that bacon, but it’s still on the table…

I’m trying out foods to see what will work for me. There is a ton of conflicting info out there about what foods should be in this period, so I’m just trying various things out to see what will work. Seems to me that pureed foods and soft foods are very similar. Anyway, I’m your guinea pig!

I’ve tried these things with success:

– turkey chili blended, about 2/3 cup
– soft scrambled egg, one
– hummus, 2 Tbl
– cottage cheese, a little sketchy (those curds), so I got the next item:
– ricotta cheese, 1/2 cup, which works fine (it’s like ravioli filling w/out the pasta!)
– pimento cheese, chewed thoroughly, only a Tbl at a time and watch out for those pimento skins!
– canned chicken, blended (I made it taste like chicken salad!) one can = half cup

On deck for further trials, I have canned ham, canned roasted beef and canned tuna. I’m also going to buy some pâtés (blended meats, man!) such as braunschweiger to see how those go. My actual printed plan from Mexico lists potted meat as a choice (!!), but I think I’ll pass on that shit. It is ALL FAT. Gross. I tell you, dieticians are CRAY. The amount for that potted meat is ONE CUP. Which is like 4 cans. WTF? Most of the meals listed on the plans are around 2 cups at a sitting. Um, how is that possible with a 5oz pouch? Stupid, stupid shit, folks. This is why I’ve made my own plan – which is working beautifully, I might add. NEVER be afraid to use your brain and find a better way.

The biggest difference with these proteins is the volume you can ingest. NOW the volume restrictions are really kicking in. One egg and I’m full! LOVE IT! Half cup of straight up protein and whoah!

I’m also using Premier Protein shakes, recommended by my friend Sheri. They have 30 gm protein in 11oz. I’m averaging about 65gm protein a day right now and I’m working to up that number to 80gm. Being able to eat real protein helps! One can (1/2 cup) of chicken is 22gm protein. The challenge is getting it all down in one session!

I’m taking my supplements:
3 gummie vits (dose is two, but it’s not enough and I may increase to 4)
2 calcium chews (dose is one, but that’s only 50%)
1 sub lingual Vit B12 1000mcg, which is a huge dose – and appropriate for bariatric!

I need to add in the iron. That is on deck for this week. I’ve never had anemia, so iron is not something I’d ordinarily take. I found a vegan one for children that is easy on the stomach since iron is usually nausea inducing for me. Bleh. Iron will be temporary unless I have anemia at the six month point.

Still on prilosec, twice a day until week 6, per the doc. I’ve asked about when I can go back to taking capsules, I await the response. I’m guessing the six week mark for that, too.

I’ve had no issues with Pouchie**, other than being careful not to overfill with protein. I hope we continue to have a positive relationship. He has begun demanding beer – oh, the Irish bastard! :)

**My stomach is now called Pouchie. He is Irish and mostly cooperative. :P

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End of Intake Logs

I’m done with the intake logs. You get the idea! It’s the same every day: try to get my fluids, try to get my protein. This weekend, I’m transitioning to pureed foods, which includes proteins. I will let you know how that goes and whether any foods give me a reaction.

I’m sleeping pretty well and feel generally OK. I’m having trouble with energy; it’s up, it’s down, I’m tired, I’m not. I assume this is part and parcel of the body trying to decide WTF to do about all this. I get sweats sometimes, too, and I think this is hormonal. My brain feels bored and fuzzy, but again, the sharp drop in calories probably has a lot do with that.

I’ve not lost any weight, but Amy told me that her loss didn’t start until week three, so I assume I’ll be on track with her. We have very similar bodies. Scratch that! I just weighed and I’ve dropped to 230! So, about 8# down since last week! Yay!

My Dermabonded incisions are itchy! GAH! Between the chafed skin from tape and the healing, I’m using a lot of hydrocortisone cream!

I’m taking my supplements every day: gummie vits, sub lingual B12 and I’m adding in calcium today. I may add in the vegan iron this weekend, too. I’ve never needed to take iron, but with basically no food, I’m taking it for now. My six month blood tests will tell the tale of how my supplements are working.

I’ll be making a video this weekend. I’m trying to get on a weekly schedule with them.

In other news, my TSA complaint is in the works. The investigations department has it and video is being reviewed.  I also sent my Senators TSA complaints and one of them had their minion CALL ME to tell me that they got the email. How quaint. Fucking politicians. Completely out of touch with the world. $100 says he gets his emails printed every morning and handed to him. Sigh.

Hilton gave me an apology, a full refund and 25,000 HHonors points which is a free night or two.

If you stand up for yourself, you’ll usually get satisfaction.