Not shiny and happy, but better. That big dip has been thankfully short lived.
Part of it is some good luck at getting an iPhone 5c for $76 and then finding a tokidoki case. Another part is Nick is feeling better, which naturally makes me feel better.
Some of it can be attributed to resolving to simply take care of myself and saying BUGGER OFF to the various medical people who have let me down. Between my research skills, knowing my body and some input from Amy, I think I can handle the dehisced incision myself.
To cover the backstory:
My dermatologist did not get the messages I was leaving her all last week due to idiots in the two offices she works in, so she never called me back until Friday night after 9pm. ?? When she did, she basically told me that she had no idea what to do about the incision and I should call the Wound Care Clinic for an appointment. Nice! Thanks medical person I’ve seen FOR YEARS. >:( So, Monday morning, I called this clinic and the nurse informed me that if I don’t have insurance, I’d have to pay $700 just to walk through the door. I laughed at her and said, what? She reiterated the $700 fee. I asked why it was so much and of course she had no idea but said, “well, you have to pay the hospital and the doctors”. Um. Yeah. I told her that was pure-T bullshit and hung up. Then I called another clinic – with the SAME motherfucking doctor – and their initial fee was $225. Much better, but still.
Due to these fees and bullshit, I’m very hesitant to pay for a “wound specialist” to look at a NON-infected wound, tell me I’m doing fine and sending me on my way. Which is what I feel will happen.
SO. I take care of myself, as usual.
The coordinator in Mexico called me yesterday to see how I was doing. Which is great, I appreciate it, but it devolved into her subtly implying that my slow weight loss is due to my not following the whacked out meal plan set forth by their useless dietician. Grrrrr. I’ve put the diet rant into its own post (below).
Again, it’s that deeply rooted belief that the reason Americans are fat is solely due to eating fast food and too much sugar. I resent it and it REALLY pisses me off. I was pretty pissed when I finally got off the phone. Just goes to show: NEVER believe any person whose job it is to keep you happy. NEVER. They will lie to do their job (keep you happy while you are in their care) and you will eventually see their true feelings shine through the bullshit. It’s a sad but true fact. (Anyone in Mexico reading this: I am not mad at any person, I’m mad at the overall belief that being fat and/or weight loss is strictly a factor of diet. IT IS NOT. There are REAMS of facts to back this up. NOR is this a slam at the ladies who coordinate things. They are VERY good at their jobs and very caring. I am just a very perceptive person and see through bullshit more than the average person.)
But oddly, getting pissed off about that attitude has helped pull me out of the doldrums, so hey, thanks for that, I guess.
I also had some good info from a scientist friend who did some digging and confirmed that actually, I’m on target for this procedure. She found anecdotal evidence that 15-30# was typical for the first month and 5-20# was average for the following months after VSG. The people in Mexico were just blowing hot air up my skirt with the claims of 40# in the first month – again, NEVER believe people who are paid to keep you happy. They’ll say anything. It’s not malicious, it’s their job.
In typical ME fashion, information soothes me and gets me off my ass. I feel capable of taking care of this wound and managing my weight in this new normal. I’m still not happy that I’ve lost most of my enjoyments of life (good food, good wine, cooking), but I know they’ll come back in a few months. I will continue to bitch, but overall, I’m holding on to the hope that my life WILL get back to normal and I’ll get back the few things that make me happy.
In the meantime, I’ve got a truly great partner to help me get through it and to support me when I need it. Nick has been AMAZING during all this and I have not said enough how much I could NOT have gotten through this without him. He is my rock. I love you, baby! XOXOXO
I’ll have a video for you guys by the end of the week. :)