A Fine Line [edit]

I hate being in this position. I have friends (some new, some old) who are borderline and I am stuck in between getting closer to them or not.

I’m sure you know what I mean. The new friend that you like a lot, but has so much baggage they need U Haul. The new friend that dropped you because you didn’t want YOUR business spread all over Decatur. The old friend that you’ve found again that has no idea just how tiring/not fun it is to hang with him/her due to his/her compromised situation. The old friend that you distanced yourself from yet you like a lot and wouldn’t mind getting closer to again – IF it weren’t for the same old baggage and drama that ran you off the first time still being in full effect.

::sigh:: It’s a tough call. I don’t know what to do yet, so here I sit, making nice and tolerating the drama. I really think that outsiders should have no input in these things, but unfortunately most people have trouble staying out of the drama and therefore, outsiders get much more say than they should.

I find myself tolerating some really shitty treatment from people I shouldn’t and I don’t know why I’m doing that. I’ve been informed that something I said in the past is the reason for said treatment, but I’ll be damned if I can remember what I said – if anything. It could all be delusion for all I know. So, rather than demand a recount of the incident verbatim, I simply nod and agree as if I really know what the hell I’m being accused of. Why am I doing that? (Probably because I just don’t want to be bothered with it.)

The question is this: How long should I tolerate the libel and slander of people I could care less about just to be friends with someone? Is it really worth all that?

I think the bottom line with me these days is that I just can’t be bothered to argue about it. I find myself at times not giving a shit either way about these people. I just don’t want the burden of overly dramatic, problem ridden people in my life, I suppose. On top of this, I don’t even know if that’s totally sociopathic of me or just a defense mechanism! I’m inclined to say the former, since I am such a misanthropist in the first place, but perhaps I’m just getting too old to put up with bullshit. Why should I put up with the bullshit when I already have a circle of friends who are NOT this way?

It’s just not fun anymore to have to deal with people who are perpetually distraught, unkempt, carless, jobless, homeless and otherwise needy. That’s not a slam against anybody, either, everyone goes through these times, but some people never seem to get out of it. [AGAIN, I want to emphasize that this is NOT about any one person. There are several people who currently fall into this category and they are not even known to each other.] Granted, some people have been treated badly by others and that has resulted in the above circumstances, but even if they are the nicest, coolest, most fun person in the world, all the baggage adds up to DRAMA.

I really like my friends, I really do. But it’s tough to have to carry baggage just to be a friend. There’s a fine line between helping a friend and getting sucked into their problems. That’s where all the work comes in, trying to help but not get sucked in.

I hope I can tread the line long enough for everything to plane out and settle down.