My family has always been puzzling to me. Even as a child, I couldn’t understand why they weren’t concerned with ANSWERS and TRUTH. I know it’s a Scorpio obsession to always want to know the Truth no matter what, but my family is the poster child for the term “militantly ignorant”.
They pride themselves on the fact that they know little and plan to keep it that way. As I was pondering this the other day, I started coming up with slogans for them:
“Avoiding knowledge since 1953!”
“We don’t know how to spell and we’re damn glad of it!”
“We learn all we need to know from Fox News!”
“Directions are for pussies. Just make shit up like we do!”
“We can’t pronounce more than 2 syllables! Any more than that is a waste of time anyway!”
“We won’t leave East Tennessee because pollution and cancer are government hoaxes!”
“College is stupid. We don’t know nothin’ and we turned out OK!”
My mind raced with the possibilities. I know it’s mean, but goddam it’s TRUE.

