Support Techs

WTF is the deal with the support GUYS in Atlanta? [There are no other girls as far as I know, so I feel that I can make the gender distinction here with good reason.] Why are they such incredible fuckwits?

Yesterday I went to fix a Mac for a new client and I find her Mac stuffed full of applications that she didn’t buy. I asked her if she understood that her Mac was filled with illegal bootleg software and she kinda did, but being a total user, she didn’t fully understand what the previous guy had done. She had about $3000 of “free” software that the tech loaded up, even leaving his serial number generator on her machine!! She didn’t understand that now, if anything happens to her harddrive, she can’t reinstall ANY of her software since she doesn’t own a single install disc. What she does own is so old that she couldn’t run it. She’s screwed, basically. He told her that they were “his” applications, so it was OK for him to give them to her.

BULLSHIT. That software was SO not his. He pilfered it from some client and uses a serial number search engine to find serials for it!! What a fucking LIAR!! And even if it WAS his, that still does not mean he can give it to everyone on the planet!!

You know, I have plenty of bootleg crap, but I don’t go around installing it on my clients computers! Is there NO ethics at all with the techs in this town?? I see this, literally, every time I work behind another tech. EVERY time. Is this just an Atlanta thing or are all freelance tech support guys like this?

It really chaps my ass that I’m usually the one who has the pleasure of telling the hapless users that the “free” software is illegal and they will NOT be getting more of it from me. I’m the one who takes the rap for these asshole guys who have no problem at all giving out software like it’s open source.

If I have to help out a client who simply does not have the cash to buy full versions of software, I’ll give them an old copy of an app so that they can then BUY the upgrade. I figure, at least they will be on the BUYING track rather than the bootleg track. But I do NOT give software to clients as a general rule. Now, my friends, sure I’ll hook you up, but not a paying client. I consider it unprofessional and ultimately bad for our industry. Where’s the incentive for software companies to keep making Mac software – a niche market – when stupid idiot techs give the shit away?? How can that possibly be good for the Mac platform?

Call me a sexist bitch all you want, but dammit, the male support techs I’ve worked behind are MORONS. Just when I was about to be impressed with the guy who’d worked on this chick’s Mac, I find out he’s loaded her up with bootleg software. What is UP with that? If I didn’t see so much idiocy done by the other techs, perhaps I’d not feel this way!

I’ve also seen (more than once) techs who totally re-do a client’s Mac just as if it were their own personal system! This one guy put in a personalized startup screen as well as about 8 different apps that were strictly for cosmetic crap like changing the look of the windows, etc. The Mac would barely run with all that shit on it. What a fucking WANKER! I had to strip it back down to the brass tacks and rebuild the fucking thing to get it straightened out! Oh, and don’t forget that the client most likely paid for the hour or so it took that fucknugget to put all these asinine applications on her computer in the first place! Then had to pay me to remove them. This was not someone’s home Mac, it was a production Mac used to put out a freaking newspaper!!

AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!

I could just pop a vessel with rage at these stupid moronic idiotic guys that claim to be professionals. Professionals do not bootleg software. Professionals do not install things without asking the client. Professionals do not do customisation of a client’s system. Professionals do not load up a production machine with useless crap that hogs memory and slows it down.

I mean, damn! Does NO ONE understand the difference between a home use machine and a WORK machine? You simply do not configure them the same way, folks. My Mac does everything for me, so I have custom crap for my amusement as well as my work software, but if I walk into a company who uses the Mac for production or whatever, I’d never in a million years install Konfabulator or ASM or any of the other things I use at home. Nor would I change the user’s settings – unless it’s something that I have to do to be able to work on the system (and then I’ll explain what I did).

I’m confounded by the shit I see in the field. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only Mac support geek in Atlanta with the sense god gave a chicken! I’m reasonably priced, I don’t bullshit, I optimize first THEN tell them what they need to buy, I don’t mind training the user as I work, I am good enough at what I do that I often fix things so well I rarely get called back other than for periodic maintenance. I mean, is that not what a support tech is supposed to do? Why am I so unusual? My clients are freaked out by my honestly and willingness to do what they want rather than tell them that they have to buy new hardware to “stay up to date”. They are also surprised that I’ll come back on my dime if my work fails to fix the problem the first time. Is it odd that I do that?

Although I find web design more challenging these days, I still love to do support. It’s fun to solve problems and see a sickly Mac become well and happy. It’s also fun to optimize someone’s Mac with RAM or a new OS and then show the user how spiffy their 4 year old system is. People really appreciate that! When you show them that they can breathe new life into a system by doing simple upgrades, they are so pleased. It’s very gratifying for me.

But, anyway, I’m waxing poetic about Macs again, so I’ll stop here. I feel better having vented my spleen about the slipshod Mac tech support industry here in Atlanta. I would love input from other techs about this. I shudder to think that I’m the odd one here. I hope I’ve just worked behind a few fucktards and there are others out there who hold my sense of professionalism.