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Car guys SUCK

11:30pm

Well, I got the Honda back. She is running GREAT, except for nothing being fixed. The problems the car has cannot BE fixed. The Honda Technician did a buttload of work on the car and confirmed that the valve job from last year was indeed botched, but he can’t make it better. So the bottom line is that I have damaged valves, worn bearings and an odd transmission problem that can’t be identified. But everything else is just great, thanks. [No damaged valves, it is the main transmission bearing that is the noise. It is 14 years later and she is still running fine – if noisy. Just don’t use these places, OK? Find a legit shop. -A]

Why do people/events keep making me have to talk with lawyers? Why am I being fucked with? It just goes to show that the Universe IS out to get me.

CAR GUYS SUCK. FIRESTONE SUCKS. GOODYEAR SUCKS.

That is all.

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Apartment Painting

11pm

I’m tired. Yes, plain old TIRED. We’ve been in a painting frenzy here at the casa (pix soon) and my place is totally trashed. We’re talkin’ no room to walk — what with all the office crap in the living room and all the bathroom crap in the office. Not a good way to be, fer sure. The paint fumes messed with my sleep last night and I didn’t have time for a nap today. On top of that, the coffee shop was slammed tonite and I was alone. OY!

The Honda is in the shop and I’m in a rental (piece of crap Chevy Cavalier. Do people really buy these shitty little cars??) paid for by the buttlickers at Goodyear (né Firestone) who are redoing all the work from last year that was done by an idiot who was later fired. Yeah, nothing inspires one more than getting shitty service then being told, in a chipper manner, that THAT guy was fired, and now we have a guy who actually can fix your car! Heeyuck, yeah, buddy, sign me up. GAWD, I hate car guys. Anyway, they are redoing the $920 of work done on the Honda and I’ll prolly get a lot of extra stuff fixed in addition to what they are redoing. The tech, Vincent, is an actual Honda tech and he is totally into fixing ALL the stuff wrong with my car. I certainly hope that I get out of it without having to buy some fucked up part that has died or something. The last fucked up part that died was a $200 O2 sensor. BAH!
[Do NOT EVER use a Gemini, Firestone or other shitty oil change shop for maintenance on your car. My Honda has a noisy transmission because I used that shitty Goodyear shop to work on her. Find a GOOD mechanic. It’s worth it. -A Mar 2015]

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Doctah Ray

11:30pm

Andy is now DOCTOR Ray. Wow! Finally! It was such a relief that I thought I was gonna burst into tears in the middle of his defense. It was intense. He is currently in Boston, learning the technique that he’ll be using at Stanford. They will be studying zebra fish. Hey, it’s better than RATS!

It’s been weeks, I know. It’s been a month since a Rant, but that is gonna change in just a few minutes. I’ve been through a lot and there is too much to say, so that means that I won’t say much. Funny how that works. :-> Privacy is one of the issues that I’ll be talking about.

My mother asked me for a page of letterhead the other day. It’s so she can give it to my brother’s custody lawyer to prove that I’m not a devil worshiper. (?) Whatever. Those people are just too ignorant for words. Don’t they know all about *this* site that worships all things of the Left Hand Path?? Uh, well, yeah, it’s not even amusing to me anymore. Just annoying and irritating. What my family does best…Well, I’m off to Rant…

soopa secret phrase: apples gone bad

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Calm Before the Storm, pts 1 & 2

The end is near and thangs are a-changin’. Inside and out. Let’s see, when we last saw our Heroine, she was sharpening sticks for the Board of AMUG… Let’s see what’s up now:

AMUG backed down with a whimper as we all knew they would when the magic words attorney and copyright infringement were invoked. I rock, they suck. The End.

I’ve been very busy with lots of inner workings lately. Although being broke sucks, I am glad to have the free time to work on my inner world. It’s a damn bit cluttered in here, I can tell ya. As some of you know, I’ve been doing Network Spinal Analysis for more than a year now. I got into it totally by accident, well, as much as the Universe allows “accidents”. I took a yoga class from Dr. Deana Guadagno and she lured me to her office to help me with my neck problem. Well, a year later, my neck problem that was actually a hip problem is not an issue anymore, I’ve done much creative work, I’ve become a calmer, more centered person and I feel great. Network ROCKS!

With Andy leaving soon, I’ve been alternately frantic with angst, depressed or in total denial. All this emotional stuff has left me a bit unfocused and that has shown in my work habits. I am lucky to get 2 hours of solid work a day before I wander off to do ?? I don’t even know what I’ve been doing. Contemplating my navel, I suppose.

But despite all this crud, my energy work with Deana has progressed and I’m at the brink of breaking through to the next level. I attended a Clear Day (a group affair with adjustments, yoga, Qi Gong, NLP and SRI) on Sunday that was supposed to just push me right on over, but it backfired and I ended up tired and pissy by the end of the day, with no breakthrough to show for it. I was bitter and angry at the time, but after a 2 hour nap and 10 hours of sleep, I awoke on Monday morning with more focus and clarity that I’ve had in a long time. I spent all day yesterday (monday) doing some therapy work that I’d been putting off for months and now I feel very calm and ready for the challenging weeks ahead. I’ll need all the calm I can get to be able to pack Andy into the truck and watch him drive away. God, it’s gonna hurt. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Not much else has changed, fortunately. I’ve got the new IndigoDragon site in the works – if I can get the freakin layers to work with MSIE5 Mac I’ll be happy. The layers work fine with everything except the one browser that is supposed to be the most compliant. Go figure. :-/

Today, during my adjustment, I felt a wave of such intense happiness, gratitude and love wash over me that it took my breath away. Talk about blissed out! I had to hug everybody when I was done. Since I’ve had so much energy trying to move in my body lately, my adjustments have taken on a life of their own. Most of the time I’m totally fucked up when I’m done. I mean can’t walk, feelin’ high, got the munchies kind of fucked up. It’s quite amusing! On Sunday, everyone was like this, and we were all munching like stoners. Heh!

Well, I’ve got to wrap this up and get to bed. I have a call in the morning and I’d like to be halfway conscious when I install the new hardware. I’ll write more as the difficult times proceed.

Peace.

Part 2:

I just realised that I’d not finished my thought about privacy the other night when I wrote this. What I was thinking about was my revelation that I’m much more private that I thought. I mean, I know that I don’t reveal much about myself (despite my chatty demeanor) and I hate marketers and spammers attempting to track me and/or quantify me, but it’s deeper than that. Heh, it just occurred to me that I have a few friends just like me and it makes it damned hard to get close to them…a point that always bothered me. Hmmm. Well, anyway, I play my cards close to the vest and I think that’s the way it’ll stay.

All this came to the surface when I attended the aforementioned Clear Day. I’ve always hated group activities, but this made it clear to me in no uncertain terms that I’m definitely not good at group gropes of the emotional type. Yet, I have people drag me to them all the time – hell, I drag myself to them all the time with bad results. This, in turn, pointed out my inability to ask for what I need from people. Hard to believe, isn’t it?

And all this has to do with privacy, because I finally put together that being in group adjustments is part of what is holding me back with my energy work. I will NOT share my personal emotional crises with just anybody, and having a ‘breakthrough’ in a roomful of people will simply not happen for me. Ever. That was what I had NOT conveyed to Dr. Deana. My need for privacy has changed the way she deals with me and how I deal with myself, too. I now understand more about the way I tick and I think it will help me nurture the parts of me that I need to in order to grow. I feel that I can be much more genuine without having to be guarded now. I don’t know why, exactly, but that’s how it feels. Maybe because I know better what needs to be guarded and what doesn’t??

Ahh, the key you have found, young Skywalker!

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Why I’m So Damned Angry

It could be the hormones. It could be that I’m tired. It could be that I am burnt out.

OR IT COULD BE BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE GETTING FUCKED WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A THANK YOU.

I try to take it all with the proverbial grain of salt, but you know, I just can’t be that goddamned generous all the time. I seethe. I harbour ill will. I feel rancor. I want blood. And heads on sticks.

Perhaps I should feel bad about it. But I don’t.

You see, Dear Rantee, I am on a mission to see that atlmug.org no longer exists after tomorrow. It is my fondest wish that those who click the link will get an Error 404 – file not found error or better: There is no DNS entry for atlmug.org. Please check the address and try again.

The people on the Board of Directors of AMUG decided some time ago that they wanted to possibly move the site or have a new web person. Which is perfectly fine with me, as long as I get credit for my work as long as it’s used or they make a new site. AMUG did neither. They plotted to steal the site rather than simply ASK me for it – then they did steal the site and take my name off of it.

Now the buttlicking Chair of the Board (Mike H) is trying to convince me that it wasn’t he that made the decision to steal the site, and I should just calm down about it. Calm down? Calm down?? He can bugger OFF! HE didn’t just finish redoing the site only to have this shit happen. HE didn’t put up with bullshit for 2+ years then have some BITCH steal his work. So, yeah, it’s easy for HIM to be calm. And he is such a Machiavellian liar anyway!! He knew damn well what was up and he didn’t so much as give me a call on the phone – until it was conveniently too late for me to even protest. Bastard.

And let’s not forget the beeyoch who did the deed: Sheryl M. She is the one who called up the host and started some shit, then convinced them that SHE should have access to the FTP site (easier to steal all the files, you see). She had no problem stealing my work, hacking it [badly, I might add] and reposting it on her server. Gee, Web Genius, didja know that it’s a federal offense to do that? Well, you *will* if I have to get a lawyer.

And I fear I *will* have to retain counsel. These fuckers think I’m just playing. They have no idea.

The truly hilarious and ironic thing about all this is that I’d intended to finish up the new site, move it to more stable hosting at Macquarium, then resign as the Webmistress. I’m tired of the site and I’m damned tired of AMUG. I was gonna give them a nice site to use (with my name on the site, of course) and wash my hands of the day to day running of it. But now, NO. I took the site that I’d worked on, stripped it of my CSS, scripts, etc. and sent that to them as an alternative to attempting to hack the other site and being sued for using my code. VERY generous, I think. Will they do the right thing and use the stripped site? Are they smart enough to realize that I will know my code and graphics if they try to use them? Are they so incredibly stupid that they will end up in court over a goddamned User Group website? And lose?

Only time will tell, I suppose. Until then, I’m sharpening my sticks…