Who says that fear and loathing can’t be in the holiday spirit?? Heh, just watch me! Actually, my Holiday Dread Factor has been tame for the most part, but that makes it all the more irksome…like waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’ll see.

My tattoo is still FABulous. I still look great in vinyl. I’m still incorrigible. But cute enough to get away with it. Heh.

How about a little check in from some of the stuff last time? I think I mentioned a fucked up election: “Mercury retrogrades suck.”. Can any of you believe this shit? You know, I don’t particularly want GeeDubya the Moron and the Dead Guy in office, but which is the lesser of the evils? A moron who is too stupid to DO anything (and his dead-from-a-heartattack VP) or a tantrum throwing micromanager who will TRY to change stuff just because he can? OY VAY! Just concede you asshole! Let the fratboy moron have his crack at it and quitcher whining! You LOST! My whole thing is this: why pick on the Banana Republic of Florida? Does everyone really believe that miscounts and other wackiness hasn’t occurred in the other states?? Come ON! GeeDubya probably did not win, but it’s a moot point now. Al needs to act like he is older than 5 and concede. Politics is soooo disgusting!

” U Haul sucks.[…] Oh, I will get the money. Yes, complaints were filed with them and the BBB.” You’ll all be happy to know that I did get my money back and a High Level Customer Service Buttlicker did call me (aaah, the BBB is your friend) but I have no urge to return the call. Yet. Let me get good and crampy first…

“Customers who drag out payments suck. I hate to wait.” Well, whoever I was waiting on paid up and I’ve actually even made enough to pay most of the bills. How kewl is that? I have nice, well behaved customers. Occasionally I have to let one go, but I think I have really cool, really nice clients. I just sent out 30+ christmas cards to all of them, too. I’ll truly hate leaving my client base when we pack up the truck and move to Beverleee (Silicon Valley, baby!).

“Like Yoda I feel.” Yup, still do. But at least it’s appreciated!

The title of this one is Holiday Fear and Loathing and mine is reflected in the Holiday Dread Factor. I’m not truly feeling it yet, but the angst is creeping in on me daily. I’ve been buying some crafty things for gifts (can’t say what, cuz, well, this is public) but that is not helping the lack of family gifts or Nick’s lack of any gifts. I know I shouldn’t worry about his shit, but it’ll all come down to me anyway, so I may as well start my obsessing early and avoid the rush, right? Oh, and let’s not ignore the fact that we have a flight to Detroit booked on Dec 24th on Delta. Yes, the very same Delta that is already cancelling flights daily to stem off a pilot strike. And Detroit has had a buttload of snow already and there have been flight problems all over up there. As much as I want those free tix from being bumped, I really don’t want to spend Christmas Eve at Hartsfield Airport! Hmmm, maybe some champagne should be taken just in case.

Holidays are a mixed blessing at best. I celebrate Yule. I challenge you to find anything for Yule out there in Retail America. Oh, yes, we have freaking Kwanzaa cards and kids aren’t allowed to sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas (We Wish You a Happy Holiday??? WHAT the hell is that about?) but is there anything for non-organized religions? Hell, no. Those Politically Correct assholes can bite me. Granted, Yule is a very non-retail sort of holiday, but I still resent the fact that in these days of PC everything, we of the Path are still not acknowledged. Harumph.

Holidays are for seeing your folks and hanging with friends. I do like the season, it’s just that I’m so tired this year! I’m wrung out from travelling all over and being shoved in a small space with 2 other people and having a 24-7 high level of stress. At this point, I just wish it was all over. We put up Nick’s teeny little 3 foot tree last night and although I think it’s hella cute, I’m just glad it’s up so it’s one less thing I have to do. Speaking of one less thing… This Rant is over.

Peace, love and a low HDF to you all. I’ll see you after Christmas!

The Halloween party rocked. It happened before the move, on October 28. We rolled all night, we felt the love, I wore PVC and bindis. It was good. The pix are analog, so be patient for the development/scanning to happen.

The moving of Nicholas sucked. He has too much stuff. But all that’s done now, so it’s really not an issue. I’ve managed to whittle down the number of boxes in my floor to a reasonable amount and I like the way the furniture and lighting has worked out. Anybody know a grandfather clock repairer?

Last Saturday, November 11th, was my birthday. It was fabulous, thanks to my 2 favourite people in the world: Andy and Nicholas. They got me a kick ass, original tattoo (complete documentary in the photo gallery) to commemorate my age and to mark this turning point in my life. 2000 has been a big year for everyone, I know, but I really feel that it’s been a significant change for me. Hell, I’ve gotten by fairly well as a contractor, I’ve made Andy a friend and Nicholas a fiancé, I am a certain age that demands attention. It reduces to the karmic number 8 – and I really do feel the karmic energy of what I’m doing. It’s all very exciting and I alternate between being thrilled and scared shitless. I’m mostly thrilled. Mostly.

Now for what you all love to read: my list of current offenders. Let’s see, it’s a long one this time, so I think I’ll just go chronologically.

1) Mercury retrogrades suck. This one was particularly heinous and I’m damn glad it’s finally over. It was 3 weeks of HELL. It wrecked the election, too, I’ve noticed.

2) U Haul sucks. They are stupid, inefficient, technological morons and they have equally inept employees to further their assault on Customers everywhere. The idiots took my money, yet I got no truck. Monday came, and U Haul could not process my order that was placed 6 days earlier and they could not get me a truck. I’ve still gotten NO refund and I still get stupid, insolent employees when I call about getting my money back. Oh, I will get the money. Yes, complaints were filed with them and the BBB. U Haul are buttlickers. Ryder, on the other hand, ROCKS. They had a truck for me and I picked it up within the hour.

3) Nick has too much stuff. Having to rent the truck an extra day and having to rent a second storage bin sucks.

4) Customers who drag out payments suck. I hate to wait.

5) Being way older than you look can be very cool. But it can suck to have this much experience when your friends don’t. Like Yoda I feel.

6) Birthdays are beginning to suck. This one was waaaaaaay cool thanks to my favourite humans, but I can see where hating birthdays can be a real thing. I must remember that this number reduces to the karmic number 8. Use this power I must.

7) It sucks when people who are supposedly your friends FORGET your fucking birthday. Geez, people, a freaking e-card wouldn’t kill ya, would it? You know who you are.

8) It sucks when you have to give up on a person you’ve tried to be friends with for 2 years. It’s the age thing again. She is too young and too self involved to even give a shit whether or not she burns bridges. Hell, I can’t condemn her for it — I was impetuous when I was twenty-freaking-three. Gotta let it go, though. She is brilliant and lovely and sharp like a broken bottle in shallow water. Maybe in another life or maybe later on in this one. But not now.

9) And finally, that goddamned Artist Way class. It has commenced its previous suckage with a vengeance. I’m not going any more. I really like the book and I enjoy the tasks and stuff, but the classes themselves SUCK ASS. It’s simply AA for artists. This one chick has decided that the class is all about her “process” and I’ve had enough. I’ll tell ya what her “process” is: it’s attending goddamned Meetings every single night and having no life other than wallowing in her own self pity. Ugh. I’m more than a little peeved at the leader of the class as well, who advised me to attend Al-Anon Meetings because I’m trying to find out how to support my fiance’s efforts to unblock himself. She (and obviously the Meeting addict) think that the whole fucking world should attend Meetings!! That is soooo offensive to me! She has no idea how offended I really am. Heh, guess she will now. :-)

I happen to feel that Meetings only help 1% of the 1% of the population that actually go to them. All the rest of the habitual attenders are just substituting talking about their addiction for the actual addiction. And I think that is sad. I’m of the opinion that wallowing in your problems is not a way to get out of them. I think you’ve got to suck it up and get off yer goddamned ass and do the work to dig yourself out of whatever pit you’ve fallen into. No therapist or group wallow will do the work for you. Ever. Heh, but that’s just my opinion. And that’s how it worked for me. My 3 years of therapy didn’t really do that much — it’s the work after the therapy that got me on the right track. I think unless one is truly mentally ill (as in: medicated by Doctors and/or committed) neuroses are self inflicted and self cured. We are a country of neurotic, self involved crybabies who adore whining. Why else would trashy talk shows be so highly rated?

Well. That sure felt good. I’ve had about enough hanky twisting for a while. I’m happy to have the burden of that class off my shoulders. I hope Nick understands and I hope he can still get something out of it. After all, I’m having to do a website in exchange for the class and I’d hate to have to do all that for nothing. He is not as offended by the whole AA atmosphere as I am, anyway, so I’m sure he’ll finish.

Oh, and let’s not forget: it’s ALL about ME now. By God, I’m 35 years old and I am hitting my stride. The rest of you can kiss my karmic number 8 ass. You think it’s bad now, just give me a few more years. :->

EAT MY DUST.

Here it is, October 27th. I’ve not blogged in more than 3 weeks! Gads! That should tell you something about my life at the moment! I know, you’re thinking “yeah, you have absolutely nothing to say!”, but NO, that’s not it at all. I do have quite a lot to say, actually and you’ll wish I’d kept you up to date when I’m done blabbing.

The creativity class (The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron) has sucked most of the blog energy from me, I hate to say. What with all the fragging writing and painting and Sculpey clay and glitter glue, who has time to do such things as keep one’s online journal up to date?? Oh, and let’s not forget that Nicholas is moving in this weekend and Andy is not moving out as planned, so that has made my stress levels just a TAD HIGH. As a matter of fact, I came dangerously close to totally freaking out and breaking stuff just the other day. Luckily, my cohort in crime Darbi took me into her home and we drank beer with some friends until I didn’t really give a rat’s ass about Andy or Nick or how all this is gonna work out. Thanks to Darbi for the support!

Hmm, as for others in my life, I’ve had my head so far up my ass, it’s been difficult to keep up with anyone other than me. I suppose Michelle is OK, I’ve not heard anything from her and she has had cryptic stuff in her blog, so I don’t have any idea how she is. I sent Don an email and he didn’t respond, either. I wrote Jana an email pointing out her shortcomings and haven’t heard back, so I suppose she has gone her dour and mopey way. I had to cut her loose because she absolutely must stop being the perpetual victim. It is draining to have friends like that. I did it in a very nice-but-honest way and she responded exactly as I knew she would. I’m sorry for that, but it had to be done. Dani and Allen have been around a bit and I’m glad for that. They are a lot of fun to party with! Speaking of parties, the big Jody Halloween Party is tomorrow night! WooHoo! The theme is sex and goth. Can you say Hot Wax Booth? Or Whipping Booth? Mwhuhahahaha! I’m gonna be in Mistress heaven! The Mistress will be very happy to have a night out – she’s been needing a to hear the smack of leather on ASS all week!! >:->

Quote from last time: “It’s all women except for Nick and about half of them are pretty fucked up. Lots of eating disorders and self esteem issues. I don’t really care for the class itself,…” Well, my darlings, I want to amend this entry right now! Last week’s class was quite a shocker! The one chick who I thought was the worst off of the bunch has turned out to be a real spitfire underneath all that angst! She has told her husband to get the hell out and totally changed her attitude. This other chick with whom I felt a lot of camaraderie has decided to stop being a corporate lawyer for companies such as WalMart that use sweatshop labour for their Low Prices Every Day. She is even moving back home to Sarasota! Wow! I am very impressed with the power of this class and I look forward to seeing if it affects Nicholas in such a dramatic way.

The abundance continues and I am very pleased. I’m still not rich, but I’m staying afloat and that is a fine thing! Thank you, Universe!

Wow, I guess that is all I have to say, after all. Seems like there was more, but I guess my work has been most of my busy-ness lately. That, and the overall stress levels. Oh, well, there’ll be more after this weekend fer sure.

TTFN