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Roe v Wade 28th Anniversary

Well, Geedubya is in office and there is much rejoicing in the ranks of the ignorant masses who really think that the president gives a rat’s ass about abortion rights. It’s just another spin issue for ole Geedubya – or any other MAN in charge. All the politicians want is to do what the other party is NOT doing. I saw the pictures of the “christians” sitting on the Capitol steps praying that women’s rights be taken back 28 years and it made me cringe.

I am not pointing the finger solely at Christians, but it seems that religious beliefs are one of the major causes of excessive moralizing and berating others who choose a different path. It seems very UNchristian to wish death upon those who make choices that are not the same as what dogma would suggest. It also seems Unchristian that these very same protesters are not adopting all the unwanted children that result from women who do not get abortions yet cannot or will not take care of the children that they bear. I’ve always thought it very clever for the church to be against abortion and birth control. When’s the last time you saw a black crack baby in a middle class Baptist’s home? Or an inner city Catholic family?

Who is supposed to care for all these children that Operation Rescue works so hard to keep alive? Apparently not Operation Rescue.

And as far as that goes, since when is it acceptable to commit murder of a doctor or anyone just because she does not have the same belief system as the murderer? Hmm, I thought murder was a mortal sin.

I have been harassed for going to a public clinic myself. Never mind that I was there for a regular checkup. Never mind that most of the women were there for just run of the mill stuff. Oh no, that made no difference to the dumbass MAN that was posted outside the clinic to scream at people going in and out. And what the blue fuck does a MAN have to say about it in the first place?? This is in no way a male issue. Men have no business even discussing it much less demonstrating and harassing women about it. I think it’s even a little weird that men want to be gynecologists or OB doctors. Men have no idea what being female is about, what having menstrual pain is about or what having children is about. They really have no place in this realm at all, in my opinion.

I’ve also been accosted by a mob of demonstrators as well. I took a friend of mine for an abortion and the crowd tried to trap my car in the lot. So I just pressed the accelerator and watched them jump back in horror. I have to say that their screams of fear gave me more than a little pleasure. My friend was going through a bad divorce and found out she was pregnant. There was no way she could care for another child (she had a toddler already) and she was quite upset over the whole thing. It was an all round horrible experience and those idiots outside just added fuel to the fire. I was very afraid that they [the crowd] were going to bash my car, but fortunately they did not.

Most women I know have always had the right to choose what to do with their bodies. We have never had to worry about death from a botched abortion. I think we take this right for granted. Did you know that the percentage of the American public that think abortion should NOT be legal has become dangerously close to the percentage of those of us who think it should be legal? That is very disturbing to me. And it should be disturbing to all of us who enjoy our freedom. This is from CNN:

“An exit poll in the presidential election found more voters favored keeping abortion legal, 55 percent to 42 percent. But only 20 percent thought it should be legal in all cases and 35 percent said it should be legal in most cases. ” (The link WAS: http://www.cnn.com/2001/ALLPOLITICS/stories/01/22/bc.abortionpolitics.ap/index.html, but it is gone now, unfortunately. – A)

And while I’m on a ranty roll, I’d like to say that Geedubya is a little weenie moron who knows very few details about what goes on in the US government, yet feels that he should still be able to run things. I’ve already heard him compared to Ronnie I’m-a-vegetable Reagan. Oh, god, now *that* really makes me cringe. Trickle Down Economics, anyone?

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Let the Whining Begin!

When January rolls around, it’s the time to examine your past year and reevaluate where you are in relation to where you want to be. This is the time of year that depresses me. I knew that the fear and loathing would catch up to me at some point and it seems that point has happened. I started this Rant over at Blog*Spot just a few minutes ago and I hadn’t intended to write any more about it, but dammit, I need to whine. So whine I shall…

It’s not that I’m totally disappointed in my consulting biz this year. Hell, I saw a significant increase over the previous year with no effort from me at all. But it’s also rather disheartening to realize just how little income you can live on. I think it was Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire that said the line “I rely on the kindness of others.” I feel that way right now. I feel that I rely too much on the people that love me. It makes me feel very unsuccessful and needy. And depressed, yes, let’s not forget our little friend depression.

I’m working on a little mailer that I plan to send out to graphics/print shops in the area and that makes me feel like I’m doing something, but I still feel the sting of being totally fucking broke and not even having the money to mail the goddamned things once they’re done. That is a total drag. Nonetheless, the mailer will be produced and mailed and then I’ll wait. What else can I do?

We’ve been discussing the move to California a little. With the economy being as volatile as it is and Silicon Valley fast becoming a wasteland of unemployed techies, it doesn’t look like relocation is as much a reality as I’d hoped. I can’t say I’m suprised by this. No, not at all. The Universe is once again fucking with my plans for some unforseen reason and today, it’s just pissin’ me off.

In the meantime, while the mailer does its thing and the Universe fucks with me, I’ve taken on a little part-time job at a small coffee house in my neighborhood. Michael’s Coffees does roasting in house and we plan to add DSL and a hub so customers can surf while they hang out. Of course, I’ll be the one setting up this groovy little LAN. I hope he doesn’t expect me to do techie stuff for $6.50 an hour!! Hrm, I guess I should iron out this little detail with him before we start the work… He also wants me to get him some wholesale bean clients – which I’m happy to do, but I need to negotiate on the pay rate for that as well. I know he’ll pay me commission, but I think I’ll need more than barista pay to go out and find the clients.

I also have to redo that old as hell IndigoDragon.net site. It’s old and stale. I finally moved it to a real host, UrgentHost.com, and I totally LOVE them. It’s self serve, they offer lots more space and bandwidth for less money than he.net and the control panel for administration totally kicks ass. Thanks to Keith for that little nugget! As a matter of fact, I’m truly sick of this site as well. Just look at that nasty list over there. I need to make an index of that crap and put it on an archive page. And just look at the total LACK of coherent design in the whole site. Gawd. Speaking of new design, I’ve redone the sari site over at tripod. I’ve gotten many orders for saris lately, so I decided to get a little stock and see if I can turn it over. If things keep picking up, then I may move it over to f2s.com and pursue that tiny little niche market.

Anything for a buck, you know? Oh, HELL, I guess I should go light that money candle or somethin’. And play the lotto. And do all the spells in Silver’s Spells for Prosperity. Why not? It’s not like I have a life or anything. OK, I feel much better. Thanks for indulging me.

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Holiday Fear and Loathing

Who says that fear and loathing can’t be in the holiday spirit?? Heh, just watch me! Actually, my Holiday Dread Factor has been tame for the most part, but that makes it all the more irksome…like waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’ll see.

My tattoo is still FABulous. I still look great in vinyl. I’m still incorrigible. But cute enough to get away with it. Heh.

How about a little check in from some of the stuff last time? I think I mentioned a fucked up election: “Mercury retrogrades suck.”. Can any of you believe this shit? You know, I don’t particularly want GeeDubya the Moron and the Dead Guy in office, but which is the lesser of the evils? A moron who is too stupid to DO anything (and his dead-from-a-heartattack VP) or a tantrum throwing micromanager who will TRY to change stuff just because he can? OY VAY! Just concede you asshole! Let the fratboy moron have his crack at it and quitcher whining! You LOST! My whole thing is this: why pick on the Banana Republic of Florida? Does everyone really believe that miscounts and other wackiness hasn’t occurred in the other states?? Come ON! GeeDubya probably did not win, but it’s a moot point now. Al needs to act like he is older than 5 and concede. Politics is soooo disgusting!

” U Haul sucks.[…] Oh, I will get the money. Yes, complaints were filed with them and the BBB.” You’ll all be happy to know that I did get my money back and a High Level Customer Service Buttlicker did call me (aaah, the BBB is your friend) but I have no urge to return the call. Yet. Let me get good and crampy first…

“Customers who drag out payments suck. I hate to wait.” Well, whoever I was waiting on paid up and I’ve actually even made enough to pay most of the bills. How kewl is that? I have nice, well behaved customers. Occasionally I have to let one go, but I think I have really cool, really nice clients. I just sent out 30+ christmas cards to all of them, too. I’ll truly hate leaving my client base when we pack up the truck and move to Beverleee (Silicon Valley, baby!).

“Like Yoda I feel.” Yup, still do. But at least it’s appreciated!

The title of this one is Holiday Fear and Loathing and mine is reflected in the Holiday Dread Factor. I’m not truly feeling it yet, but the angst is creeping in on me daily. I’ve been buying some crafty things for gifts (can’t say what, cuz, well, this is public) but that is not helping the lack of family gifts or Nick’s lack of any gifts. I know I shouldn’t worry about his shit, but it’ll all come down to me anyway, so I may as well start my obsessing early and avoid the rush, right? Oh, and let’s not ignore the fact that we have a flight to Detroit booked on Dec 24th on Delta. Yes, the very same Delta that is already cancelling flights daily to stem off a pilot strike. And Detroit has had a buttload of snow already and there have been flight problems all over up there. As much as I want those free tix from being bumped, I really don’t want to spend Christmas Eve at Hartsfield Airport! Hmmm, maybe some champagne should be taken just in case.

Holidays are a mixed blessing at best. I celebrate Yule. I challenge you to find anything for Yule out there in Retail America. Oh, yes, we have freaking Kwanzaa cards and kids aren’t allowed to sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas (We Wish You a Happy Holiday??? WHAT the hell is that about?) but is there anything for non-organized religions? Hell, no. Those Politically Correct assholes can bite me. Granted, Yule is a very non-retail sort of holiday, but I still resent the fact that in these days of PC everything, we of the Path are still not acknowledged. Harumph.

Holidays are for seeing your folks and hanging with friends. I do like the season, it’s just that I’m so tired this year! I’m wrung out from travelling all over and being shoved in a small space with 2 other people and having a 24-7 high level of stress. At this point, I just wish it was all over. We put up Nick’s teeny little 3 foot tree last night and although I think it’s hella cute, I’m just glad it’s up so it’s one less thing I have to do. Speaking of one less thing… This Rant is over.

Peace, love and a low HDF to you all. I’ll see you after Christmas!

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Tattoo pix

1am

My birthday was fabulous. Thanks to Andy, Nick, Sonya, Mike (big cookie was yummy), Ricky, Granny and my parents. Andy and Nick paid for my wonderful original tattoo done by Jett at Black Cat Tattoo here in Atlanta, GA. [Update Nov 2016: Yeah, NO. Do NOT get any work done by Jett or anyone at Black Cat. My expensive tattoo from this was completely blown out in 3 years. Bad line work. He tried to “fix” it and made it worse. It’s a hot mess and takes up my whole shoulder. It will require a large back piece to cover it. – A] As of Nov 2016, I’m using Monster Ink Atlanta for all tattoo work. And getting MUCH better ones. :) All female shop, awesome creativity, ZERO attitude. Here is their yelp. My cherry blossoms are in there w/ my friend’s review!

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Happy Birthday to ME!

The Halloween party rocked. It happened before the move, on October 28. We rolled all night, we felt the love, I wore PVC and bindis. It was good. The pix are analog, so be patient for the development/scanning to happen.

The moving of Nicholas sucked. He has too much stuff. But all that’s done now, so it’s really not an issue. I’ve managed to whittle down the number of boxes in my floor to a reasonable amount and I like the way the furniture and lighting has worked out. Anybody know a grandfather clock repairer?

Last Saturday, November 11th, was my birthday. It was fabulous, thanks to my 2 favourite people in the world: Andy and Nicholas. They got me a kick ass, original tattoo (complete documentary in the photo gallery) to commemorate my age and to mark this turning point in my life. 2000 has been a big year for everyone, I know, but I really feel that it’s been a significant change for me. Hell, I’ve gotten by fairly well as a contractor, I’ve made Andy a friend and Nicholas a fiancé, I am a certain age that demands attention. It reduces to the karmic number 8 – and I really do feel the karmic energy of what I’m doing. It’s all very exciting and I alternate between being thrilled and scared shitless. I’m mostly thrilled. Mostly.

Now for what you all love to read: my list of current offenders. Let’s see, it’s a long one this time, so I think I’ll just go chronologically.

1) Mercury retrogrades suck. This one was particularly heinous and I’m damn glad it’s finally over. It was 3 weeks of HELL. It wrecked the election, too, I’ve noticed.

2) U Haul sucks. They are stupid, inefficient, technological morons and they have equally inept employees to further their assault on Customers everywhere. The idiots took my money, yet I got no truck. Monday came, and U Haul could not process my order that was placed 6 days earlier and they could not get me a truck. I’ve still gotten NO refund and I still get stupid, insolent employees when I call about getting my money back. Oh, I will get the money. Yes, complaints were filed with them and the BBB. U Haul are buttlickers. Ryder, on the other hand, ROCKS. They had a truck for me and I picked it up within the hour.

3) Nick has too much stuff. Having to rent the truck an extra day and having to rent a second storage bin sucks.

4) Customers who drag out payments suck. I hate to wait.

5) Being way older than you look can be very cool. But it can suck to have this much experience when your friends don’t. Like Yoda I feel.

6) Birthdays are beginning to suck. This one was waaaaaaay cool thanks to my favourite humans, but I can see where hating birthdays can be a real thing. I must remember that this number reduces to the karmic number 8. Use this power I must.

7) It sucks when people who are supposedly your friends FORGET your fucking birthday. Geez, people, a freaking e-card wouldn’t kill ya, would it? You know who you are.

8) It sucks when you have to give up on a person you’ve tried to be friends with for 2 years. It’s the age thing again. She is too young and too self involved to even give a shit whether or not she burns bridges. Hell, I can’t condemn her for it — I was impetuous when I was twenty-freaking-three. Gotta let it go, though. She is brilliant and lovely and sharp like a broken bottle in shallow water. Maybe in another life or maybe later on in this one. But not now.

9) And finally, that goddamned Artist Way class. It has commenced its previous suckage with a vengeance. I’m not going any more. I really like the book and I enjoy the tasks and stuff, but the classes themselves SUCK ASS. It’s simply AA for artists. This one chick has decided that the class is all about her “process” and I’ve had enough. I’ll tell ya what her “process” is: it’s attending goddamned Meetings every single night and having no life other than wallowing in her own self pity. Ugh. I’m more than a little peeved at the leader of the class as well, who advised me to attend Al-Anon Meetings because I’m trying to find out how to support my fiance’s efforts to unblock himself. She (and obviously the Meeting addict) think that the whole fucking world should attend Meetings!! That is soooo offensive to me! She has no idea how offended I really am. Heh, guess she will now. :-)

I happen to feel that Meetings only help 1% of the 1% of the population that actually go to them. All the rest of the habitual attenders are just substituting talking about their addiction for the actual addiction. And I think that is sad. I’m of the opinion that wallowing in your problems is not a way to get out of them. I think you’ve got to suck it up and get off yer goddamned ass and do the work to dig yourself out of whatever pit you’ve fallen into. No therapist or group wallow will do the work for you. Ever. Heh, but that’s just my opinion. And that’s how it worked for me. My 3 years of therapy didn’t really do that much — it’s the work after the therapy that got me on the right track. I think unless one is truly mentally ill (as in: medicated by Doctors and/or committed) neuroses are self inflicted and self cured. We are a country of neurotic, self involved crybabies who adore whining. Why else would trashy talk shows be so highly rated?

Well. That sure felt good. I’ve had about enough hanky twisting for a while. I’m happy to have the burden of that class off my shoulders. I hope Nick understands and I hope he can still get something out of it. After all, I’m having to do a website in exchange for the class and I’d hate to have to do all that for nothing. He is not as offended by the whole AA atmosphere as I am, anyway, so I’m sure he’ll finish.

Oh, and let’s not forget: it’s ALL about ME now. By God, I’m 35 years old and I am hitting my stride. The rest of you can kiss my karmic number 8 ass. You think it’s bad now, just give me a few more years. :->

EAT MY DUST.