Category: 2003

Today, we went and picked up our 5Gb iPod. It’s cool, but we’re so busy trying to turn around 2 Macs for a client that we don’t have time to play with it tonite!

Nick’s web gig has become annoying. The client has been a PITA and wanted a lot more than he paid for, but now the work is done and he’s avoiding emails and payment. That asshole had BETTER pay before DragonCon or somebody’s gonna get hurt! That money is our Con money and I’ll be livid if he ‘forgets’ to pay. Fucker.

I had to take Dickens to the vet today for fluids and a B12 shot. He was very dehydrated, so he stayed all day and got 2 rounds of fluids. He seems to feel a bit better now, and that’s a good thing. I got a call from Sonya today and her cat Sam is not in much better shape than Dickens. Sam has liver disease and hyperthyroidism, but the liver problem is acute. Sonya and I are both sad about our poor old kitties.

So it goes this month: up, down, up, down. I tell ya, I’ll be lucky to manage to keep up my strength for the Con.

Today has been really, really hard. I got Dicken’s blood work back and it’s not good. Not good at all.

His kidneys are not working well. I knew he was sick, but this news has just ruined me. It’s not a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN.

I’m so very sad and upset. He’s 16 and we’ve had a good run, but I didn’t want him to be ill at the end. I wanted him to go quietly in his sleep around age 20 or something. That’s just not gonna happen.

I don’t want to make the decision. I don’t want to choose his fate. If there is a higher being up there, I’m begging: please, PLEASE let him go without my intervention. Please.

I don’t know if I have the strength to take this.

He’s not that ill right now, and this won’t happen in the very near future, but it will happen. I’ll be lucky to see his 17th year. He’s been with me for my whole adult life. He’s my baby. How can I bear being without him?

I’m so very sad. My heart is heavy as a stone.

I forgave a debt yesterday. Out of the blue. I was chatting with someone who owed me about $50 and it suddenly occurred to me to just let it go. So I did. It made more sense to absolve her of the nagging debt that she labours under than to simply hold onto being repaid. Suddenly, it seemed to me that giving her that little respite from one of the myriad debts she owes is worth more to me and to her than the $50 ever did. It was the right thing to do.