Randomness

Today will be a disjointed day. I woke up feeling random and unfocused – which usually means a whole day of it. Feh.

I dreamed a lot last night. I remember bits and pieces: needing an operation, being at the hospital for a whole day waiting with an IV that I could undo myself to walk around, having no fear about whatever it was I was having removed. Hmm. That one was probably about my vile uterus that I can’t wait to be rid of. Nothing about Bernie or anything else concrete that I remember.

This morning I find my mind wandering aimlessly. I’ve got to get the Thank-Yous out to various folks in CA who made our trip wonderful. I’ve got to get this place cleaned up because I’ve got comp’ny tomorrow. I’ve got to get to the store to restock for the new stupid diet we’re trying. It’s the Quick Weight Loss Center plan, which is exactly the same plan as all other diets: eat a VERY small selection of foods from a tiny list and never have a decent meal again – and if you dare stray from the list or ::gasp:: have a beer, you’ll gain back 3# promptly.  Ugh. They work because they are restricted. Whatever, it’s worth a shot, I suppose.

See, even this post is rambling…

Had to make a sucky decision yesterday: to risk a valuable item of ours to help some friends or not. We decided not.  It was a hard decision, but we are still too freshly burned by a couple of people who used us for all we had a few months ago. We made a pact after the dust settled that we’d never ever put ourselves in that position again, no matter what. The position being that we put ourselves (and our property, etc.) out there to help someone and end up getting fucked. It’s the main reason we’ve cut people who we considered friends loose – because it was either cut them loose or feel the need to assist them forever.

It’s hard lesson to learn that people need to fend for themselves.

No matter how much you care, sometimes it’s just best to step aside. To me, that sucks ass. I like to help.  I like the gratification of seeing people I care about overcome their obstacles. It’s great to be able to help! However, I simply have to learn to stifle my enthusiasm. It’s gotten us in all sorts of bullshit situations in the past and I just have to stop. Nick has taken on the task of saying NO to me and so far it’s working OK. But I have to say, for the record, that I do feel the pinch of not being able to help.  I know it’s for the best, but it stangs a bit. 

Well, I’ve got to get the day started. Rob gave me a call and reminded me of all the shit I’ve got to do today. Off I go.