Families are the wart on the ass of humanity

Well, as predicted Dave’s mother has stayed true to form and pretty much kicked all of us lowly peons to the curb. That horrid old cow was mean and nasty twenty years ago and she’s just the same now.

20 years ago when Dave and I were dating is when he lost his eyesight and kidneys. Naturally, with catastrophic illnesses, he had to move home to Macon with his mother and father. I’d been there for the horror show of watching Dave go from (what appeared to be) a normal healthy guy to a blind sick invalid in about 6 months. It was traumatic. But did his mother EVER thank me? Nope. Was she ever the least bit courteous to the girl who took care of her son’s grand mal seizures? Nope. As a matter of fact, the old battle axe counted the fucking silverware when we were packing up his stuff. She never even thanked me for driving the truck down to Macon. His Dad wasn’t much better.

So, now he’s gone and she’s more concerned about getting all the stuff that’s “valuable” than a) what Dave might have wanted and b) what any of us “lowlife friends” may feel about all this. She wants his beloved Martin guitar “because it’s valuable”. Not that it was Dave’s favourite, well, that’s down the list, but the main reason is that it’s valuable. Because, you know, we’re ALL just gunning to steal Dave’s stuff. Riiiiight.

Unfortunately, Dave also had a nasty habit of thinking people were trying to steal his stuff. Being blind didn’t help that paranoia (having it actually happen didn’t help either), but his mother is the main source for that. She was always reminding everyone about how important her family is “MY family started the Coast Guard, you know” was a fave. She looks down her nose at everyone who’s not of her self appointed bougie class. She always warned Dave to be careful of his roommate and friends – and she didn’t even KNOW them!!

Horrible woman. We all just want to help sort out Dave’s final affairs and she’s mean and nasty to us. She hasn’t even told me about the goddam memorial service which I know about thanks to Witt telling me when we spoke on the phone.

I’m so over her I don’t think I’ll go. It’ll just be the family and I have nothing to say to any of them. It’d be worth showing up just to irk her, but I don’t have it in me. I’ve said my goodbyes to Dave already. Truly the only thing I want is a copy of his music. That’s it. He promised me his Advent speakers, but I absolutely WILL NOT ask that fat bitch for them. I WILL NOT. And I think the chance of her offering them is oh, about ZERO. They’ll end up on the curb or donated to Goodwill along with all the rest of the music equipment he loved. It really wrecks me to think about it. All his DJ stuff and his guitars mean nothing to her. It really sucks.

That’s not even mentioning the dogs. Witt has a plan for Kirby – one of his friends really wants him. We don’t think it’s appropriate to send him back to Leader Dog to injure another blind person (Kirby was the reason for Dave’s broken leg and subsequent declining health). Witt will keep Bonnie if he can, but if he can’t? No idea. I can’t take the dogs. Bougie won’t take them. It’s all up to the mother and I don’t like those odds. Poor doggies! Anybody want to dognap a couple of housebroken retired lead dogs? They are VERY sweet and well behaved… I’d be happy to give you the address and a spare key.

She can hate us all she wants, but WE knew Dave the best. WE saw him at gigs, having a great time. He never told her anything about his real life. All she knew was that he played music sometimes. She never knew that he learned to DJ in a strip club. Her little bougie heart would crumple and die if she knew. (Maybe I should tell her??)

Yah, she’s the mother and all that, but it don’t mean shit if you disrespect your offspring’s friends.

I just don’t understand how being such a raging beeyoch to us is respecting Dave’s memory. Oh, I remember: we’re just friends. She is family, so she’s the only one that counts for anything.

Families are the wart on the ass of humanity. I’ve said it before and it’s proven to me again and again. Nick and I will have wills by Dec 1. I don’t want our families getting in the way of our wishes when we die. Getting married was one failsafe, but having wills will absolutely cover everything if we both die at the same time. I don’t want his family or mine rooting through my shit tossing out things that they don’t understand is important to us. I don’t want my cats to have to rely on strangers to place them with a loving home. I’ve had two friends die intestate and it’s NO WAY to go, lemme tell ya. I really don’t think Dave would be happy with his mother’s behaviour. I hope she gets all she deserves.