Now, I Find…

…I’ve Changed My Mind – Drowned World by Madonna

My trip to California was not at all what I expected. First of all, I didn’t get any job offers. Secondly, I didn’t want any of the jobs I interviewed for in the first place.

That may not seem to be such a big deal, but believe me, it was – it IS – a big deal. You see, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided that I don’t want to be a tech any more. I still totally love my Macs and I will always be a geek, but I just can’t do it any more. I can’t hear one more user whine. I can’t be asked one more stupid, unimportant question on an interview. I don’t give a rat’s ass what the IEEE number of USB or FireWire is, nor do I care if I score well on a random test that some schmuck of an HR person relies on to quantify candidates because they don’t have a clue about the job they are hiring for. I can’t deal with one more person trying to quantify me and shove me into what they think a good support tech should be. I just can’t.

So, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve redone my resume to reflect more admin stuff and less tech and I’ve removed my tech resume from Monster.com as well. I’m applying with as many nonprofit corporations as I can find and hoping that I can find someone who will believe that I actually have done other things besides be a Mac tech. So far, it’s slow going, but I feel strongly that this is the right path for me.

While I was in CA, I really did feel that I was having some sort of crisis, like a pre-midlife crisis or something. But as I thought about it more, I realized that I’ve not really enjoyed doing support for about a year. Every call I got made me cringe and even doing a marketing mailer was no fun at all. In my heart of hearts, I knew that I didn’t want to do this any more, but I felt that I had no other marketable skills. I still feel that way to some extent, but I’m willing to be open to other opportunities that I’ve ignored until now. I really enjoy web design, but that’s not the best field to be in right now, so I think I’ll do some generic office work until I decide what I want to do.

I would like to go back to school for something, but I’m not sure what. I have such wide interests that there is no telling what in the world I’ll end up doing! For instance, I’m considering some sort of holistic healing (herbalist?), art restoration or culinary school. I’m currently enrolled in a Chinese brush painting class and I hope that it will jump start my creativity and perhaps give me more ideas about what to do. I’m also still considering doing some an online shop of some sort. [I did in 08! An Etsy shop! -A]

Aside from the career change, I’ve also changed my mind about some blogs that I’ve been reading. As I was reading yet another snide, narrow minded, holier-than-thou proclamation from one blogger, it occurred to me that that person has a teeny tiny world and that person will always have small thoughts until s/he opens up to the magic of the uncertain.

I will not read any more negative blogs done by narrow minded people, period. I still want good rants, mind you, but I don’t need to hear about how much smarter than everyone else someone is, even though s/he can’t tell the difference between cuisine and soda pop or a large city and a small town. I also don’t want or need to hear about how everyone who goes for clarity is an asshole, since it’s obvious that the blogger is beyond reproach and no one should DARE to correct an incorrect statement or bad grammar. Nuh-uh, baby. No more. Those people “should have went” [a common quote illustrating the grammar used in some blogs] to college or something rather than clog up the internet with bad attitudes and even worse grammar!

Deepak Chopra says that being willing to be uncertain is one of the main tenets of finding your own kind of success. Well, I’ve decided to give that a try. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.