From Pat Benatar’s Innamorata
Written by P. Giraldo/N. Giraldo
Dirty Little Secrets
It seems I loved you for so long
It seems like all of my life
Just like a child who doesn’t belong
You’d run, ’til even the sun became your shadow
And I know you better that I know myself, you know
So why pretend you’ve got somewhere else to go
Sometimes I believed, what you had to say
Then I watched you bleed, all the truth away
Somewhere in my heart, there’s a place I know
Where all our dirty little secrets go
Nobody’s perfect, certainly not us
We’ve all got secrets to keep
I would have kept yours safe in my heart
You would have always known where to find me
And I hate you in your innocence, you know
But I hate myself even more for lovin’ you so
Sometimes I believed, what you had to say
Then I watched you bleed, all the truth away
Somewhere in my heart, there’s a place I know
Where all our dirty little secrets go
Sometimes it hurt so bad that you cry
Then there’s the times you wish you had died
Sometimes the truth is worse than the lie, sometimes
Sometimes it’s best to lock it away
In a place that’s secret and safe
Sometimes you just pretend you don’t know
Sometimes it’s best to let go
Sometimes I believed, what you had to say
Then I watched you bleed, all the truth away
Somewhere in my heart, there’s a place I know
Where all our dirty little secrets go
If you’re a Benatar fan, I strongly suggest getting Innamorata. It’s a beautiful record.
This appetizer is from Anne Burrell with little modification other than the ham. It’s simple, quick and VERY delicious!
Pint of Mission Figs (10 or so)
Chèvre (goat cheese), any flavour. I use Fig flavoured!
Ham or prosciutto (original calls for prosciutto, I use plain deli ham)
Balsamic Vinegar
Olive oil
Cut off the stem of the figs and cut them in half longways. Make a dent in the center of the fig. Sprinkle figs with some balsamic. Put a bit of goat cheese in the dent. Cut ham in strips and wrap around the fig and cheese. Secure with a toothpick. Drizzle with a bit of olive oil. Either grill them until hot or bake them until hot, about 8 minutes. Enjoy!
Since I’ve been taking an antidepressant, it’s funny to me how people will say “Yah, I think you’re much happier now!”
Really?
Interesting. I don’t feel happier. I feel like I just don’t care. Whereas I would bitch about stuff before, now I just don’t bother. I don’t have anything to say because I can’t be bothered with it. My general demeanor is MEH.
I don’t think much has changed, personally. I still hate Atlanta. I still find idle chatter bothersome. I still can’t stand people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and decisions. I still get irritated with people who refuse to move past whatever bad shit happened 10 or 20 years ago. I still find it difficult to get upset over news events that have nothing to do with me. I just don’t talk about any of it.
So, maybe I am happier, I don’t know, I suppose not giving a shit does lighten one’s load, after all.
To be clear: just because YOU think I’m happier and more easy going does not make it so.
I still won’t tolerate silly temper tantrums and stupid shit for long. I will NOT be passively aggressively bullied into changing my demeanor by a temper tantrum. Just a heads up. The person who uses this tactic will hopefully get the message. Otherwise I may have to back off. I am bothered by his/her attitude that it’s all me… Um. Nope. Not even a little.
What the drug has done is make me have zero energy and zero Give A Damn. And me with zero Give A Damn means I could snap all over you. So I’d advise caution when dealing with me now. Just because I’m not ranting as much does not mean I’m a happy camper. Remember that, people!
Assume makes an ASS of U and ME. Don’t do it.
/end PSA
They only call me with bad news, the family. My dad called today to tell me that my Granny is on her way out. He sounded pretty shitty himself. The COPD is really bad when the pollution is high like it is now.
This is not a surprise. They stuck her in a home and she’s been losing her mind ever since. It’s taken a coupla years, but she’s finally succumbing to dementia and has been reduced to a raving lunatic. They tell me she rants nothing but curses and “Help Me!!”. It breaks my heart. Again I wonder why we can’t put humans out of their misery like we do our pets. It’s just not right.
After hearing this news, I’m doubly glad I did not choose to go see her a couple of weeks ago. I really do not want to lose my last memories of her at home, chatting with us, having a good day. That is the memory I want and that’s the memory I have. You may think me selfish for this, but I have to differ with you. Going to see her now would not impact her at all, it would only impact me in a negative way. I really don’t see the point in that. If she was lucid, that’s one thing, but she’s not. She hasn’t been for quite a while. So I stand by my decision to remember her as she was rather than as she is now.
Once she’s crossed over I’ll write a long post about my memories of Granny. Until then, it’s the waiting. I look forward to her crossing. It will end this horrible existence for her and she will be happy then. May the goddess bless her soul.
Which is why I’m ready to leave this PIT
Yesterday, I got a hate filled comment from
IP 68.157.129.235
Bellsouth.net
Atlanta GA
I believe it was from one certain dude who now lives in an ostentatious mansion (with a fountain!!), who is still dickhurt from my blunt but truthful comments about his complete pussy-whipped and never make a decision life. He is so passive aggressive that he can’t EVER say anything to my face or even SIGN his lovely piles of shit he leaves. What a sad little man. It’s awesome to be criticized by someone who has never had a problem in his life: no student loans, no mortgages, no unpaid bills, no joblessness, NOTHING. He has just glided along, going with whatever path is easiest. La la la. Must be fucking NICE. It’s a testament to his true asshole personality that he continues to troll my blog and leave his pent up frustrations in my comments. GET LAID, DUDE and stop fucking bugging me!!! Or go ahead and leave more of your nonsense. It gives me something to laugh at and post here about. Troll.
Anyway, it just reinforces my strong desire to get the fuck out of this shit hole. The cartoonist group is about to be put out of its misery. No one in this elitist, cliquey town has any desire to share their knowledge – unless it’s with THEIR homies. Whatevs. I’m tired of trying to fight against the nature of this place. I really do not feel any love for Atlanta or the cooler than thou hipsters who infest the art scene. There’s much TALK of an all inclusive attitude, but I don’t feel it. If that were so, then why are there no less than 5 comics or comics related groups of less than 10 people and not one is interested in forming a larger group? CLIQUES, that’s why. Very undermining to creating a group who will have impact, IMO.
As for trying to get myself out of this horrible rut, I’m going to start working with silver again. Next classes start at the end of August. I might do more once I see how that feels. We’ll see.
I’m also leaning heavily towards taking a road trip to Raleigh NC to go to a Benatar book signing then see her show that night in Cary NC. It’s Sep 2, the Thu that DragonCon starts. And I really don’t care. I’d rather take the road trip, truthfully. I am not wanting to buy tix to D*Con this year. There’s no point, really. I figure we can wear an old badge and get past any hotel bullshit. I’ll prolly copy someones current one and stick the copy onto an old one. No one will notice since we’ll not be trying to enter any official con events. We shouldn’t need ANY con badges to enter a public hotel, but the D*Con jerkoffs take great pleasure in locking down the hotels in the name of the Fire Marshal. So, it’s better to be prepared. I do want to go to Kelly’s party on Saturday!
So for any of you trolls who are just looking to take out whatever on me and my blog, go ahead and knock yerself out. Everything is moderated so you won’t get to see your bons mots lighting up my day, they’ll just be deleted, or like the one from yesterday, modified and then posted in order to be mocked.
I have no patience for stupid people from the past. I’d rather look towards the future with me NOT HERE. So just don’t bug me, ok? It’s really not worth your time. Go back to FaceBook.