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Bohemian Rhapsody Hilarious Lyrics

Bohemian Rhapsody Alternate

Is this the real life?
Is this just Fanta sea?
Caught in a man’s lie,
No heat for my herbal tea.
Soapen your thighs….
Look at this guy’s old kneeeeee!
I’m just a pool toy,
I’ve got no buoyancy.
Because I eat zee gum.
Eat raw dough.
Get a high. Do some blow.
Any brand of pantyhose doesn’t really flatter on meeeee

Mama, I just tilled some land.
Turned some grain into a bread
Pooh smacked Tigger, now he sees red
Mammal life had just begun
But dinos win when life will find a way.

In the meantime, we will try
If I don’t return your shirt, it’s not a borrow.
Clap on, clap off, nothing’s like the clapper
Toothache! My dentist has won!
Bend rivers with my mind.
Brain making another rhyme.
Good buy, everybody, $5 pizza to go.
Lotta fleas on dogs behind
My name’s not Ruth.
Oh God….ewwwwwwww

I made a man cry
Hi Operator, I’d like to place a call.
Hi-C and a little Jello in my hand.
Scarhead, scarhead, when will you kiss Draco?
Corduroy and spandex, very very chafing me.
Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico Mexico!

I’m just a door, boy. Nobody shoves me.
When it’s not on the floor, a rug is a tapestry.
Spare ribs are great despite your pomposity.
Even rum getting low. Where did it go?

Bushmill’s whiskey, we will not let it flow!
Bushmill’s whiskey, we will not let it flow!
Bushmill’s whiskey, we will not let it flow!
Whales don’t say thar she blows don’t you know?
Never stub your toe.
Never stub your toe.
Never lick me slow.
Larry, Curly, and Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe
Hello Lindy, hello Lucy, can I get a cup o’ Joe?

Four knees!
Four knees!

So you think you can bone me and shit on my tie?
So you drink a can of mead and leer at my wife?
Maybe, you can do this to me maybe.
Regattas are out, they’re gonna sail right by the pier
Oh yeah, spilled milk really splatters.
All the fun’s at sea!
Jerry Mathers was the Beav

Summer Squash Casserole

Angelas Summer Squash Casserole

Angela’s Summer Squash Casserole
3 large or 4 smallish yellow summer squash, sliced into rounds
1 medium onion, frenched (halved then sliced)
2/3 cup half n half (or milk, whatever)
2 Tbl Mexican Crema (or sour cream)
1 Tbl garlic paste (or paste up 3-4 cloves)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 egg
1.25 cups shredded cheese (I used sharp cheddar and Monterey jack; use what you like)
3/4 cup panko
1/2 cup parmesan (grated or shredded)
olive oil

Cook the squash and onions in a large skillet with a little butter, water and salt, until softened; about 8 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350F.

While the veg cooks, mix together half n half, crema, garlic, S/P and egg until smooth. Fold in cheese.

Drain veg. Spray 9×9 baking dish with food release and layer in one third of veg. Pour over 1/3 of the cheese mixture. Continue until all veg and mix is in. Cut up about 2 Tbl butter and put on top of casserole.

Mix panko and parmesan with a Tbl of oil until it’s coated. Put panko on top of casserole in an even layer.

Cook in 350F oven for about 30 minutes until panko is golden and casserole registers 160-170F in center.

The Only Constant is Change

This year has been one of letting go. I’ve had to let go of my expectations of people and just let things be. That doesn’t mean that I’m not still hurt by people who I thought were friends but turned out to be…something else. Nor does it mean that all the unkept “plans” are going unnoticed. It’s hard for me not to take it all personally. I’m learning to do that. Change is the only constant. I am working to embrace change and stop clinging to old paradigms.

I’ve realised that expecting people to want to hang out is just not a good use of my time. Atlanta is huge. I get that. But it just seems that WE are expected to drive an hour to see ANYONE, but they won’t do it for us. Hell, even proposing meeting halfway is shunned. ::shrug:: We all have our haunts, true. But why are OUR haunts somehow less attractive? That is what I wonder. My suspicious nature tells me that there’s more to this. My inner demon says “you’re not worth it”. THAT is the voice that must be squelched at all costs.

So, we’ve turned our full attention to the pub. What else can we do? No one wants to do anything, so we’ll just entertain ourselves. I am starting to wonder if we’ll even have anyone show up for “friends and family” tastings at the pub. Given the lackluster responses of late, I’m thinking NOPE. Guess I’ll have to rely on employees to fulfill that task. And that is fine by me. I’m tired of feeling like a nag; nagging to get together, nagging to come to a party, nag, nag, nag. Ugh. Inner demon: “you’re not worth it”.

Whatever. We’re about to create our own tribe and for that I’m grateful. I’m tired of trying to break in (or stay in) certain circles. If we don’t fit, that’s juuuuust fine. We’re GOING to fit in our OWN place, that will be full of OUR PEOPLE. People who want to be around us. People who WANT to come to our place and hang out. People who appreciate what we’ve got to offer. Inner demon BE DAMNED. WE ARE WORTH IT.

As Beyoncé says: “Always be gracious. Best revenge is your paper.” And in this case, you can add “best revenge is your TRIBE that YOU create”. For once in our lives, we’ll be our own social point. No cliques, no half assed friends, no bullshit “plans”, no chasing other people around to have company. Just a family of our own making. I look forward to it more than I can articulate. WE ARE WORTH IT.

I know all this sounds so narcissistic, but I don’t really care. I’ve spent too much time trying to entice people to me or ingratiate myself into cliques. It’s time to complete the reemergence. I’m ready to let go of the past and start a new future. WE ARE WORTH IT.

If you want to join us, we’d welcome that. If not, no harm, no foul. But don’t expect invites, either. Friendship is a two way street. And I’m tired of trying to drive BOTH lanes. Fuck that. If you can’t be bothered to give us a modicum of support, even if only in WORDS, then you’re out. If, however, you HAVE been giving us support, even if it’s only words, we appreciate it. And WE SEE YOU. Expect spiffs. I’ve got things planned for the people who’ve been instrumental in making this pub happen. There ARE points for participation.


Harissa Coconut Slow Cooker Pork Ribs

Harissa Coconut Pork Ribs

Harissa Coconut Slow Cooker Pork Ribs
2.5# boneless pork shoulder ribs (sometimes labeled country style)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1.5 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 medium onion, large dice
4 cloves garlic, minced
1.5 Tbl harissa paste (You can find this at large Kroger stores. If you use powder, use 1 Tbl with 1tsp oil.)
2 small jalapenos or serranos, finely diced
1 small can coconut milk (unsweetened, or half a regular sized can)
1 Tbl soy sauce
1 tsp coriander
Juice of one lime
fresh cilantro for serving

Clean ribs of all surface fat. Combine next 5 ingredients in a large bowl and coat ribs thoroughly. Heat up a large pan with a couple Tbl of oil and sear the pork ribs. Don’t burn the sugar, but get them nicely browned; season lightly with salt and black pepper. Put ribs back in the spice rub bowl and set aside. Put 3/4 of the onion, garlic, harissa and chiles in the drippings from the ribs and cook over medium heat for 3-4 minutes. Add in coconut milk and soy sauce and bring up to boil, kill heat.

In a crock pot, spray the crock with food release such as Pam and put reserved onions in the bottom. Layer in ribs with any leftover rub and drippings. Then sprinkle second tsp of coriander and 1/4 tsp salt over ribs. Pour the veg and coconut milk mixture over ribs. Cook on low for 4-5 hrs or high for about 3-3.5 hours. Feel free to add a little water or stock if you feel they are too dry.

After the ribs are cooked and soft, remove from the crock pot and set aside. Put a screen sieve over a small pan and strain the liquids into the pot (OR if you like a chunkier sauce as I do, just leave all the veg in there and give it a quick whizz with the immersion blender to make the sauce). Let the sauce sit for 15 minutes or so, to let the fat rise to the top. Ladle off as much fat as you can, then put the sauce over medium heat and simmer until it thickens. If it doesn’t get as thick as you’d like, add a tsp of cornstarch dissolved in 1 Tbl water and boil for 2 minutes to tighten it up. After the sauce is done and off heat, add the lime juice. (Adding lime juice before a boil will make it bitter.)

Serve over polenta or grits with the sauce spooned over and fresh cilantro leaves on top. Or serve with broccoli or other veg for low carb.

Life in the ‘Burbs 4 Year Update!

Can’t believe it’s been four years already! Wow! So many changes!

We’ve acclimated to life surrounded by old white T***p supporters and hillbillies. They keep to themselves for the most part. After much bitching and passive aggressive note leaving, the assholes behind us have ceased having their goddam lawn service come at 7am on Sundays and the next door neighbors don’t let their yappy dogs out at the crack of dawn. Victory!

The drive to Decatur and other civilised parts of Dekalb has become normal. We actually do a lot of our main shopping and entertainment in Duluth. Costco, Jusgo Chinese market, Big Lots, Studio Movie Grill and Ollie’s are all clustered on Venture Drive, so we go there for gas, movies and shopping. Even though it’s more of a drive, everything is together so it’s convenient to make one trip rather than several to Decatur.

I had the VSG surgery in 2016. Life changer, that. SO GLAD I did it!

We lost Rhonda Honda last year at Heroes (2017) and got Romeo one year ago almost to the day. I still miss Rhonda occasionally, but Romeo is very fun to drive and I love him.

Nick’s job ended December 2017. While traumatic, we’ve done OK. My brief stint at Krobar helped with expenses and paired with the $4300 unemployment, got us through six months without touching savings. The fact that $4300 is the TOTAL of unemployment you get after paying in for 20+ years is disgusting. Truly disgusting.

Player One Arcade Services is over three years old and we are pursuing Player One Arcade Pub. It’s a frustrating battle to find a location, but all our money is in place, we just gotta FIND A LOCATION. Between flakey landlords and flakier real estate people, it’s slow going. But now, in July, we are running up the credit cards and starting to get into our savings. We really need to get started! We can’t pull any money from the account until the business is going and we can’t even pay ourselves until it is OPEN. Clock is ticking. We are stressed out.

I guess that covers the highlights of the last four years here in Tucker. 2018 has been the year of the pub and it has been our consuming goal. There was a girl at the Krobar that said she felt the pub wouldn’t get started until fall…Looks like she was right after all. Sigh. 2018 is an 11 year, so I’m hoping my lucky number will pull through for us. If we don’t get started soon, we’ll have to find jobs again. Which will suck. Kroger sucked balls. UGH. Pray to your gods for us. We really need to get the pub going, y’all. And: thanks for all your support! WE SEE YOU. <3