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Oh, my poor baby!

Today has been really, really hard. I got Dicken’s blood work back and it’s not good. Not good at all.

His kidneys are not working well. I knew he was sick, but this news has just ruined me. It’s not a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN.

I’m so very sad and upset. He’s 16 and we’ve had a good run, but I didn’t want him to be ill at the end. I wanted him to go quietly in his sleep around age 20 or something. That’s just not gonna happen.

I don’t want to make the decision. I don’t want to choose his fate. If there is a higher being up there, I’m begging: please, PLEASE let him go without my intervention. Please.

I don’t know if I have the strength to take this.

He’s not that ill right now, and this won’t happen in the very near future, but it will happen. I’ll be lucky to see his 17th year. He’s been with me for my whole adult life. He’s my baby. How can I bear being without him?

I’m so very sad. My heart is heavy as a stone.

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Forgiveness

I forgave a debt yesterday. Out of the blue. I was chatting with someone who owed me about $50 and it suddenly occurred to me to just let it go. So I did. It made more sense to absolve her of the nagging debt that she labours under than to simply hold onto being repaid. Suddenly, it seemed to me that giving her that little respite from one of the myriad debts she owes is worth more to me and to her than the $50 ever did. It was the right thing to do.

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Pay attention!

Things I’ve learned this week:
1. Black fishnet thigh highs with red lace make the Taurus incredibly horny. :-)
2. Keep saying your gratefulness prayers. They work!
3. Teachers are everywhere. Pay attention to what you’re being shown.
4. Allow useless thoughts, habits and people fall away like chaff.
5. Know with your heart that you will find your path. You will.

What to do with this info? Well, first, I’ll buy more thigh highs…

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Weekend Madness!

Well, well, well! You just never know what mischief you may get into when you have a little money to spend and a friend who owns a bar. We decided to go out Saturday night and have a bite to eat. We wandered over to Oakhurst to check out a new place, but decided that it didn’t look like a food place, so we went across the parking lot to Sweet Devil Moon. It’s a Peruvian tapas place. The food was pretty good, the service was haphazard. We looked across the street to the Universal Joint and saw our friend Robert was working, so we trotted over there to have a couple of drinks…

Continue reading “Weekend Madness!”

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WooHoo!

Damn, I love this! Thanks to a friend we have landed a small web gig that will earn us $500 towards our Dragon*Con money! I can’t express my appreciation enough! :-)

I have that, plus a Mac upgrade gig this week that will earn me about $200, so we’re pretty much set for the Con. I’m so excited! The Brocade Corset will be MINE next week!