In honour of this auspicious day, I offer you a judgmental rant. I am not sorry. Several things have set me off, so let’s start with the IWD stuff and then move to other issues that piss me off.
For this IWD, the Day Without a Woman movement is taking place. The idea is that women take the day off, don’t work, don’t buy anything, don’t cook, etc., and we all wear red. Now, while I agree that this is a lovely idea and I support it, I will still do the shit I need to do today. I’ve got obligations. I’ve got chores. And they will get done because I feel good today for the first time in a week, so I’ve got to carpe diem, yanno?
I’ve seen several women on FB (not MY friends, but comments on others’ posts) apologizing for not being able to take the day off, not shop, whatever. It is annoying that women feel obligated to APOLOGIZE for getting shit done just because it’s a “cause” day that asks you to not do anything. It’s just an idea! If you got shit to do, DO IT and stop apologizing. I think that the whole idea is to do what you can for the cause, but do NOT apologize for doing or NOT doing any damn thing on any damn day. RIGHT? ARGH.
Next, I’d like to slap the clueless bitches all over FB who are asking “What is all this wearing red about?”. Really? REALLY? You’re on FB every damn day and you’ve managed to miss International Women’s Day and the associated movement? You are an idiot and you need to have your woman card revoked. PAY ATTENTION for chrissakes!!
And finally, I’d like to air my feelings on women (partners of any gender) who fail at homemaking. You know the ones. The ones who “stay home with the children”, but do absolutely nothing. They claim to be busy with the children, but in reality, they sit on their asses all day playing games or riding around doing Ingress/Pokemon. They don’t clean the house, they don’t do laundry, they don’t cook, they literally do nothing. This makes me RAGEY. And YES, by the gods, I JUDGE THEM.
When I see a man complaining about all the stuff he has to do such as laundry, dry cleaning, getting shoes repaired, etc. and he’s got a woman at home, this makes me apoplectic with rage (you can change the gender on that to any configuration). WTF is wrong with someone who stays home every day and offers ZERO support for their spouse who works full time? How can you do that? How can you sit around in your own filth with laundry literally in mountains all over your house and do nothing? HOW?? It is the most selfish, mean, trifling bullshit I’ve ever heard.
I don’t care if you have 6 kids or NONE, if you are at home or work less than your partner, get OFF your lazy ass and KEEP HOUSE. My house ain’t spotless by any means, but by gods you don’t have to worry about ptomaine from my kitchen or be afraid to use the bathroom or see mountains of laundry coming out of the laundry room!! There is absolutely ZERO excuse for this! ZERO. Just because you’ve reproduced does not mean that you are no longer responsible for keeping your shit clean and straight. It’s a responsibility issue, not a time management issue.
I totally understand that some people are raised in filth and they honestly do NOT see it. Which is why it’s even sadder when they have kids, because they are raising another generation of filthy people. My grandmother and mother kept clean houses. I am naturally a clean person who likes ORDER and so does Nick. Keeping house for us is just a normal daily routine. ANYONE CAN LEARN TO DO THIS. Nick wasn’t raised in a neat clean house, but his sister in law (with whom he lived for a while) taught him to keep house. (Thanks Melinda!!) You can choose to be an adult. Try it, you might actually like it.
My brother, raised by the same clean mother that I was raised by, is a total PIG. He lives in filth with paths around all the shit in the floor. I don’t understand why it takes in some people but not in others, but I do think there is some choice involved. My brother chooses to live like a pig and takes zero responsibility for it. Part of this due to my father, who was raised in filth and does not believe in doing housework of any sort because that is the woman’s job – HELLO, 19fucking50 called and they want their bullshit back. My father never cleaned a dish, cooked a meal, washed a shirt, took out the trash or mowed the lawn. He is also a home builder and he never repaired SHIT around the house. He did absolutely nothing to keep the household running other than making money. Gee, I wonder why my mother burned out and finally said “FUCK IT!”? I saw this shit go down and I decided then that I’d NEVER put up with that kind of bullshit. You live here, you’ll do some chores, that’s IT. Same for brats: they should do household chores as soon as they are able. Teach them to clean up after themselves and it will be a lifetime habit. My mother did not do this because she has control issues. That likely contributes to my brother’s inability to adult.
A partnership is a partnership, be it marriage or whatever. This goes for all couples, no matter the gender. If you live with someone, you are obligated to help keep the place livable. YES working full time should mean that you have a far shorter list of things to do around the house, but it shouldn’t mean you do nothing. And vice versa, if you are the one staying home, then your list of household chores will be MUCH longer than the person working full time. Why is this so hard to understand? This is equitable. You don’t like it? Get a job and/or get a maid. Easy.
I absolutely do NOT take issue with doing most of the housework. I’m home, I should do it. And Nick has no issue if I ask him to clean the gnarly shower sometimes. Hell, he cleans it better than I do!! He also has no qualms about his short list of chores. It’s equitable.
So this is my Women’s Day rant. If your house is a filthy pigsty with laundry mountains, then how about you GROW A VAG and clean that shit UP? Woman up for chrissakes! This goes for DUDES who are stay at home, too. Do your part! It’s the nicest thing you can do for your partner. I know Nick appreciates the things I do. He tells me so. And don’t forget that, too: tell your partner how much you appreciate what they do. It matters.
Oh and Happy International Women’s Day. :P