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Chantal Cookware

UPDATE October 2012: And almost 2 years later, the Martha Stewart cast iron enameled dutch oven is still in perfect condition. You get what you pay for.

Man, just when you think you’ve had the worst customer service, along comes some jackwagon to remind you that, NO, it can ALWAYS be worse!

So, I bought a $60 6 qt enamel on cast iron dutch oven from Marshalls in December. It was from a company I’ve never heard of, Chantal, but I figured, it’s a pot! How hard can it be?

Apparently, VERY hard. After three uses, the enamel starts to pop off the inside of the pot. NOT good. So, I took a moment to look up the corporate site and send in an email advising them about the pot.

It all started off nicely enough, with the first email, unsigned (but from Bob Galvan’s email addy):

We apologize for the inconvenience and will be happy to replace the pot for you.
The 2 colors we have available are red and garden green.
Please forward your address for replacement.
Thank you.

But then, a couple of hours later, this email shows up (from our hero, Bob Galvan):

Hi Ms. Pratt!
We will be happy to replace your cast iron for you.
However I was just asked if you could return yours to Chantal. We need to show it to our representative when he arrives for a meeting on Wednesday morning so I will need it by Tuesday, January 11th.

What I need for you to do is take it to a UPS station to ship 2nday to Chantal, but has to be done today. You will need to use Chantal’s UPS account number authorized by Randy Tickle.

[edited: address, blah blah blah]

Thank you!
Bobby Galvan
Chantal Cookware Corp.

Continue reading “Chantal Cookware”

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PSA re: comments

In case you’ve forgotten, I do NOT publish comments from trolls. If you have something relevant to say, I’ll put up the comment even if I don’t know you. If not, you’ll get flamed by me via email and/or published for mockery.

If you leave an irrelevant comment like “you sound dumb” with nothing else to support this assertion (boogerpicker500, how appropriate!), then I’ll berate you via email and your brilliant comment will never see the light of day. If you have the brains to make a point, then it’ll be approved.

So, get creative and have something relevant to say or STFU.

Now, get off my BLOG!
//end PSA

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Open letter to the Chick

An old friend’s psycho wife has finally dropped all pretense of her fake like for me and written me a nasty little piss off email. Oooo, big surprise.

She wrote me an email a few weeks ago, begging to be friends and even after I told her flat out that I’m not a neuroses supporting kind of friend (more of a Dr Phil, read your beads kind), she still invited me to give her my input. So I did, knowing full well that she’d take every single word of it and turn it into me being “mean-spirited and unkind”.

Yah, yah, and I cause global warming, disease and pestilence, too. Or does Caroline have pestilence? Anyway, yah, I’m eeeeeevviiillll and horrible and you’re an innocent little princess. What a load of horseshit.

Just another in a loooong list of neurotic, insecure CHICKS that think they have hidden their disdain for me and I never saw it coming. Right. This ain’t my first rodeo, honey, I do have a clue.

Chick, do you really think that for one instant I thought you had any sort of vague like or respect for me? You are delusional. You have had nothing but hatred and jealousy of me since the instant we met [actually, WAY before that] and you’ve been waiting for the right time to lash out and show me just how immature and jealous you really are. Well, I got the message.

Now let me give you one:

Dear Chick:

You’re right, I do feel sorry for my friend having to put up with you. You are irrational, flakey, neurotic and insecure. I also know that he had to sneak to call me because I’m sure you’d pitch a fit if he did it in front of you. As a matter of fact, you admitted this in your email. And if you think that I had plans to be “friends” with you, you are sorely mistaken. I’m not that dumb, sweetheart. You are a chick and you are not worth the effort. Perhaps this is why you have no friends? [Per your email to me as well.] You whine and “commiserate” only in the academic sense, what you really want is sympathy and someone to tell you how great you are and how awful everyone else is. I told you very clearly that I am not that someone, yet you chose to invite me to comment. Your discomfort is not my problem. Grow the fuck up.

I don’t really care about our lives “intersecting”. Never have. I knew this day would come and I’m fine with it. You are not the kind of woman I’ll ever want to be around. Not at the moment, anyway. You could grow, who knows? But I doubt it, since you are older than I am and still an immature twit.

Sincerely,
The EVIL Ex

To my friend who married this woman, I wish you much luck – good thing you have the patience of Job. You’ll always have a special place in my heart. You are hereby released from having to sneak and call me. And no, I don’t expect to hear from you ever again. I’m OK with that. You will be placed in the category Those Whose Neurotic Wives Disapprove. You can keep Dean company. :-)

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Comments from the Bitter and Sad

**Updated 1/23/17 and reposted to show that in EIGHT YEARS, my opinion of E TN hillbillies has not changed and if anything, been PROVEN by the election results of Nov 2016. These people are bitter, sad, jealous and mostly AFRAID of anything or anyone who is not a backwards hillbilly like themselves. They are a pathetic lot. I leave my ass burning flame intact because I feel exactly the same today as I did then. I have gotten rid of 99% of the redneck hillbilly high school people on my FB feed and I am NOT sorry. I have nothing in common with those people or their moronic attitudes. This post STANDS just as well today as it did in 2009. Suck it, hillbillies. SUCK IT.**

I got a comment from some asshole in Johnson City TN who got his or her knickers in a knot about my post about Facebook and my ambivalence towards High School people. I said that I don’t feel that I have much in common with people from there anymore – which I don’t – and that I am fundamentally changed from living in an urban area for 20 years. Which I fucking AM. I tell you, this person picked the wrong fucking time to pester me. If you’re not into public humiliation, then you might want to surf elsewhere. However, if you enjoy humiliating the stupid, then by all means, JOIN IN. Snarky comments encouraged!! ;->

Here is the comment that I pulled from moderation to put it here so I can make fun of it properly:

redneck1984@gmail.com
72.236.80.13
Submitted on 2009/01/07 at 2:44pm

“Wow! Our little Angie has done growned up and gotten all citified and smart on us. Well gosh darn it! we can still reach out on that ole internet thing and see you on that there facebook thing. I only wish I knew how to read quicker so that I can keep up with how much different you are than those of us who stayed barefoot in Karns, got pregnant, and went to work at the Piggly Wiggly. We are so proud of you!”

Methinks the commenter is stung by recognition of his or her mindset and that recognition hit a nerve. If this is supposed to hurt me in any way, sorry, asshole, I left the hills of East TN years ago and I don’t regret it. Shall we surmise that your move to the burgeoning metropolis of Johnson City TN didn’t work out so well? The only thing I feel is pity for someone who is so sad and bitter that anonymous posts on a (presumably) fellow High School graduate’s site seems like a good idea. It’s not. 

In addition to his/her bons mots, here is his/her referral info for the first visit:

Domain Name (Unknown)
IP Address 72.236.80.# (Mountain States)
ISP TelCove
Country : United States
State : Tennessee
City : Johnson City
Operating System Microsoft WinXP
Browser Internet Explorer 7.0
Time of Visit Jan 7 2009 2:34:57 pm
Last Page View Jan 7 2009 3:20:32 pm
Visit Length 45 minutes 35 seconds
Page Views 15

Good to know that s/he took time out to read some posts before s/he made that comment. 15 pages in 45 minutes! Wow, guess the stupid hick did manage to learn some readin’ in school. Get far with that HS Diploma, did you?

And since my site and I are both so hateful, s/he made sure to come by again today to see if I’d released the comment:

IP Address 72.236.80.# (Mountain States)
ISP TelCove
State : Tennessee
City : Johnson City
Operating System Microsoft WinXP
Browser Internet Explorer 7.0
Time of Visit Jan 8 2009 11:59:57 am
Last Page View Jan 8 2009 12:01:16 pm
Visit Length 1 minute 19 seconds
Page Views 3
Visit Entry Page http://misangela.com/
Visit Exit Page http://misangela.com/?paged=3
Time Zone UTC-5:00
Visitor’s Time Jan 8 2009 11:59:57 am

Well, here ya go, asshole, on the front page and everything! W00t! Notice that s/he uses XP! How quaint!

Now, grow some bullocks and comment with your full name you dumbass knuckle dragger or get the FUCK off my site. The only thing worse than some stupid cunt trying to flame me on my own site is a stupid cunt who won’t take credit for his/her bullshit.

How are you liking your calling out so far, asshole? You think you got something to say? BRING IT. I’m in no mood for jealous, petty people who clearly have issues with their own lives so they try to make some sort of statement about how my life and choices reflects badly on theirs. You want to disabuse me of the narrow mindedness and rampant ignorance perpetuated in YOUR region (E TN)? Then speak up with something sensible instead of acting like a cowardly babbling baboon.

You give rednecks a bad name! You are more of an ignorant hillbilly type than a redneck because a redneck wouldn’t give a big SHIT what I think – but a narrow minded bumpkin will get offended every time.

Suck on THAT.

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Lurker response [edited!]

Edit at bottom.

Clarence the Linux nerd from the Mac posting responded, but sadly, it’s not as funny as I’d hoped. Just more indignant accusations of a “scam”. Well, at least he’s smart enough to find my blog! :-)

He said:

““I’ve got this awesome job opportunity. I won’t tell you anything about it, but if you contact me then I will give you a link.”

Oh, can I work from home and make a million dollars a day too?”

I think this is supposed to be in a mocking tone. But it just doesn’t come across, does it? I said a lot in reply, but the gist is:

“[…] You’re a presumptive asshole and overall not someone I’d want to help out. […] I’d be willing to bet that you’re not even a Mac specialist. You probably are a Linux propellerhead who thinks that he’s the God’s gift to computers and therefore are pissed off that I DARE thwart you. (Yah, I can use referrer logs, too.) [He is a Linux user.] As I’ve pointed out, TWICE: if you think Craigslist is such a scam then why were you trolling there in the first place? […] I absolutely will NOT give you the name of the company.”

So, that’s the state of the Linux Lurker for now. We’ll see if he comes up with a more entertaining email or comment. ;-)

Edit: I did get another email, but now we’re just chatting, so I guess that’s the end of the line for poking fun. This guy is a big ole propellerhead and not trying to be funny, I don’t think. He just wants me to acknowledge that there are many many scams on Craigslist, well, YES, there are scams, but my post wasn’t one of them. He now insists that we have met, but I don’t think so. I’d remember his name, it’s unusual. Anyhoo, I guess he’s ok in his snotty geek way… If we end up being friends, then not only will I LMAO but I’ll post a retraction! :-)