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Steve the Asshole!

Hello, everyone!

Today here at misangela.com, we are going to make fun of Steve. Steve posts SPAM on personal blogs. When confronted, Steve then sends moronic emails with this subject line:

“Angela,great hearing back from you.”

Then he proceeds to inform me:

“You were one of only five sites where I posted info concerning my fine,non-feminist,practical,male-oriented, nine-step system for successful parenting and single parenting yesterday. To me, that doesn’t constitute “spam.” To me, spam is random,electronic marketing to millions of unknown receivers.”

Yah, sure Steve. Only FIVE sites! What a fucking load of shit! Spamming asshole! That must be why your bots tried many times to spam me again, but were banned right?

Then Steve helpfully adds:

“Since, you apparently are mis-guided about what defines “spam,” I have a hunch that you are also mis-guided about many other important areas of life.”

Yes, that is a direct cut/paste. All those grammar mistakes (the hyphens and extraneous commas) are his very own. He’s a WRITER, you know. LOL

He then begins to proselytize thusly:

“Therefore, you are cordially invited to re-visit my site at http://iamanasshole.com and receive a totally FREE download of not only my fine parenting book, which I think will be a big help to you, but also my new novel , I’m An Asshole Spammer!, which will give you clear insight into how to dodge the dumbing-down of feminism which you might have inadvertantly stumbled into over the years.”

OH, Steve, MY HERO!! And here I was, thinking, “damn, I just know I’ve been stumbling over that dumbed down feminism thing again!” And thanks so much for your helpful advice about my “mis-guided” [sic] ideas about spam. What would poor lil’ ole me do without your help?

We should ALL go to your heinous website and download your indespensible $5.95 PDF! How will the world keep spinning without your grammar challenged tome?

Naturally, I can’t give you his full name or urls, because that would give him just what he wants: hits. Nope, no hits for you, pigfucker!

Stay tuned, chilluns, we’ve got a live one here! If he was stupid enough to respond to my first email, I can’t wait to see how he’ll respond to my flaming email! Damn, it’s just so much fun to ridicule The Stupidâ„¢. :-)

He’ll have to use a new email addy, tho, since I’ve banned his urls from my email account. Hey, Steve, send your entertaining reply to misangela at springmail dot com!

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Très Amusant!

Well, the referral logs were a big hit, I see! LOL Damn, it amuses me so that the simplest technical thing was way over the head of our favourite lurker! Har! The self proclaimed brilliant, confident, honourable, upstanding, holier-than-thou lurker didn’t have a clue that every hit of this site is logged. ::wipes tears of glee from eyes::

Oh, dear, the lurker brings me much laughter. I think it’s also very funny that anything I write here is considered “behind the back” of the lurker, who comes by here once a week to read my blog! Hrm, seems pretty in FRONT of the back to me, but hey, we’re not dealing with towering intellect here. Heeeelarious!

I’ve decided to have as much fun as I can at the expense of these people who have nothing better to do than cause unnecessary strife. You want to lurk and post silly melodramatic things? GREAT! It makes me laugh. You want to take every syllable of every word expressed to you as some sort of affront or challenge or condescension? YAY! More for me to make fun of!

I’m sick to death of people who take everything as a personal insult. Get over yourselves! No one cares what you think! No one is addressing you in the first place! If you’re a whiny prick, then think about why that was said. If you’re a silly drama whore who’s ALWAYS upset at someone for some small infraction that you NEVER mention, then think about WHY you’re considered a drama whore. If there is always a Vortex of Chaos around you, could it be that it’s YOU and/or the people you associate with? If you’re considered a cunt by quite a few people, could it be because you act like one? Could it be true? Could it be YOU and not everyone else? Hmmm?

Just a thought. :-)

Continue reading “Très Amusant!”

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Things that honk me off

As everyone knows, my herd of Peeves is legendary. I have many and am always adding to the clan. Well, here is the latest batch of Peeves added to my herd:
1. Tree guys that can’t be bothered to call me back.
2. Bosses that write cryptic emails.
3. Clients who want me to do work until they hear that, OH, I CHARGE FOR THAT. Wankers.
4. People who are friends and know better, but still call me on the cell phone to waste my 25¢ minutes to tell me all about some dumbass chick that I don’t even know nor care to. Very inconsiderate.
5. Uppity Oakhurst land barons who totally dis me and treat me like I’m a complete idiot who couldn’t possibly do something as complex as run a grocery. What an ASSHOLE.
6. Having too many parties all at once when there are 12 months in the goddam year, folks. 12. Let’s spread ’em out a bit next year, ok?
7. Insomnia.
8. Not having all the fucking shopping done yet. I suck.
9. Not having all the shit I do have wrapped. I suck.
10. Did I mention that jerk off Land Baron in Oakhurst? Good.