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Welcome to the 20th Year of Misangela.com!!

That’s right, folks, my blog turns 20 this year – June 21 to be exact! Can you believe it? My first post is about gender bias and it is still, sadly, relevant today.

This blog being a Gemini makes sense since I’ve ranted and raved and blabbed my business on the ‘net for TWENTY YEARS! Geminis are chatty, you know. ;) I don’t blog nearly as much as I used to, thanks to fucking Facebook and all the other social media outlets that keep me busy. I used to blog about daily stuff, news, etc., all the things that social media does for the masses now. Despite FB ruining true blogging, I still feel that blogs are relevant and should not be tossed out as outmoded. Same for websites. Again, thanks to FB dumbing down the collective IQ of the internet, people don’t even have sites for their businesses half the time. THAT is a mistake, but they really think that FB is the internet.

This past year was about transition and we’re still in it. I wonder if I’ll be a pub owner or going through bankruptcy on June 21 this year? Interesting to see what happens. I truly hope it will be the former and not the latter, but odds are pretty even right now.

I’ve not said much about the pub process, mainly because I can whine on FB and secondly because I just don’t have the brain power to write coherently right now. I tell you, though, once the outcome has been determined, I’ll be writing a fucking book about this process. It is yet to be seen if it will be a cautionary tale or a tale of victory.

Hopefully VICTORY. QaPla’!

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Adulting Is Hard

Sometimes I just don’t know how to process things. Being deeply insulted by a friend is hard. (“I can’t think of anyone less hospitable than you!” in reference to my being in the hospitality industry.) Trying to not let it get to me is harder. Some people *think* they know me, but really do not. And as much as I try to show them my true self, they reject it and hold onto what they think they know – despite it being 15 years out of date.

I am letting go of the person who hurt me – again. It’s like we never get past a certain level and he seriously enjoys being demeaning and mean to me. This person is very deeply invested in proving that I’m wrong and the way I do pretty much everything in my life is wrong. He is absolutely not worth the effort.

In the past, I’d say nothing about how I feel, and I know that every single interaction will be contentious. And I’d end up with hurt feelings. Every time. Nick is oblivious to this, apparently.

And somehow I always end up with the notion that it’s my fault. I know intellectually it’s not, but Nick tells me it’s my fault because I won’t capitulate and be run over by this person. If I thought I was being treated fairly, I might be more compliant, but I do not think I’m being treated fairly. Not at all. Not being allowed to speak and being lectured at is not fair, IMO. It’s not a discussion if no discussion is allowed.

Nick values this person’s opinion – and he thinks it’s good for me to be wrangled every now and then. And this is why we had a huge fight over it. The person in question has been deleted. No regrets.

Adulting is hard. So is blogging about being hurt rather than screaming at the top of my lungs that I AM TIRED OF BEING TREATED AS IF I AM TOO DUMB TO DO WHAT IS APPROPRIATE FOR ME. I may have a big mouth and be opinionated AF, but I still have feelings. Despite the press otherwise. I wish that people I’ve known for a long time would at least TRY to see that I have changed and I’m not the same person I was 15 years ago. Hell, I’m not the same person I was ONE year ago. I don’t need to be steamrolled, I need SUPPORT. NOT the same thing.

This year has been about learning how to ask for help and learning when to STFU and not talk back. I’m trying to learn, but dammit, I simply WILL NOT allow men to condescend and lecture me just because they assume they know more. Perhaps they do, perhaps they don’t. But by the gods, if you start lecturing me and I correct you when you say that I don’t know something when I CLEARLY DO, I am going to talk back. I am DONE with being lectured and beaten into agreeing with the notion that I do not know what is best for myself or my business.

If you don’t agree, then fuck off. I’m tired of defending my LIFE. If you think I’m an idiot, then great, think that. But spare me the lectures and condescension.

I’ve got enough on my plate as it is. Either be on the team or not.

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My Spirit Chef

As some of you may know, having seen this in person, I do tend to get excited about my own cooking…

This kid (Merrill Howard Kalin, google him) is my Spirit Chef. Add a little butt wiggle in there, and this is ME when I taste my own food:

I do make some tasty food! [Perhaps I can do catering again one day! -A 1.11.22]

(link for this as well, for safekeeping: https://youtu.be/-FrpuPLYnvY)

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My Checkered Career Path

I’ve done lots of stuff in my 47 years. I’m going to list off all the jobs I’ve had, the approximate time period and any comments about the job. I’m including internships and my rock n roll stuff, too. So, hey, guess this is my CV. Hire me. :)

First Job: Shoney’s waitress. During High School, early 80s.
Quincy’s Steakhouse: line girl
Domino’s Pizza: phones, delivery, pizza maker (Back when it was 30 mins or less!)
Long John Silver’s: Cod girl (aka morning shift prep) First full time job.

Got my first apartment around this time: Sans Souci Apartments approximately 1985.

Went to University of TN for a couple of quarters. Worked as Assistant Master Electrician in the theatre and worked security for concerts at the venue. MUCH FUN!! I lived with a couple of friends in a shitty student house in South Knoxville.

Ran off w/ the Mister Mister tour for a weekend.

Chili’s: waitress (awesome job, had WAY too much fun!)
American Favoritz Cafe: waitress (locally owned restaurant) Continue reading “My Checkered Career Path”

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ALL Mirena updates AND Removal (2011 – 2020)

Updates for Mirena over the years (original review after updates):
1. 3/26/12 I’m currently on week 8 w/out a period! Yay! But I doubt it’ll last. I’ve had all other indicators of impending bleeding, but none yet. So. I still give it 2.5, but if the periods stop I’ll up it to 3 or 3.5 perhaps. Here’s to hoping!

2. Dec 2012 So, it’s been almost 2 years now and I’m happy with Mirena. The periods stopped a few months ago (Sep?) and I only have occasional spotting. All is well for me and I’ll give Mirena 3.5 stars. The first year is a bitch, but once everything settles, it seems to work like a charm. Hysterectomy would still be more efficient, but if you don’t want that, then Mirena is a pretty good choice.

3. October 2013: Still chugging along with Mirena at almost 3 years. I sometimes get light cramps, but I’ve not bled in a long time. YAY! Mirena has been great for me. Perhaps by the time this one needs replacing (it’s a 5 year device) I’ll be ready to yank out the Vile Organ. ::fingers crossed::

4. December 2015: As I am coming up on the 5 year mark (Jan 2016), I was getting anxious about having to replace the Mirena. Since the previous update, I’ve had no periods and things have been great. It’s about as close to hysterectomy as you can get w/out the knife. Fortunately, my gyno informed me that I do NOT have to replace the Mirena since I don’t use it for birth control. She wants me to keep going on this one to see how long the drugs actually work. I’ve become a test case to see the ACTUAL lifespan of the Mirena for therapeutic use rather than birth control. I’ll post more info as time passes.

5. January 2018: At year 7 and still working! Yay! I still have no periods, no PMS, no nuttin. The only time I’ll see a spot is if I’m really sick, really stressed or post surgery. I had Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy in May 2016 and spotted a little after that, but other than that? It’s like the vile organ isn’t even there. The Mirena is the best thing I’ve ever done besides VSG. I’m 70# thinner, I feel great and I still have no vile organ issues! I *do* have some hot flashes, but so far, that’s it. I am 52 and my gyno is interested to see how the Mirena interacts with menopause. I am interested as well. I’ll report more when things happen. (Oh, I did find out that it’s no longer “Mirena”, it’s something else now, but basically the same product.)

6. March 2020: Finally got the Mirena removed. I forgot to mention that at my last visit to the gyno, she informed me that I’d gone through menopause. !! I had no idea!! She said that since it worked so well for me as a menopausal facilitator, she’s going to recommend it to other pre-menopausal women. I had the Mirena for 9 years and it supposedly stopped working at year 5-6. Since I went through menopause at the same time, it’s hard to say. All I can tell you is that it is MAGICAL and I highly recommend it! I had no periods after the first year of adjustment and as I said, I went through menopause without knowing it. Having it removed was literally NOTHING. I was nervous, but on the table she said, “hey, can you hold your breath for a second?” and by the time I answered, she’d popped it out! LOL She held it up and said AHA!! It was all discoloured and gnarly looking, too! EW! But that damn thing worked like a charm and was worth EVERY PENNY of the grand it took to get it.

My overall opinion of the Mirena (or whatever it’s called now) is, if you CAN get it, DO IT. Ovarian cysts will disqualify you and perhaps some other things. There are horror stories of the pain involved with getting one installed, but I didn’t have that. It was odd and slightly painful for a second, but I didn’t have any big issues with the install. And once it’s in, it’s good to go. Mirena changed my life! It ended the horrible periods and got me through menopause seamlessly. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

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Original post:

I had the Mirena (IUD w/ hormones) installed Jan 3 2011. Read about what it was like to get the IUD installed HERE. The first year has mostly sucked. I had a three+ month long period after I first got it. No cramps, but I fucking bled nonstop. Then it backed off and I was having a period every 5-7 weeks with no cramping. BUT STILL HAVING THEM. That went on for months then I had a 2 month break Oct-Nov, then on Thanksgiving, it came back with a vengeance – complete with mild cramps. I just finished another period with mild cramps. :(

So, the promise of no periods with Mirena has been a LIE for me. I’m not surprised. Nothing involving the Vile Organ EVER works as advertised with me. Yes, I’m glad to not have incapacitating cramps, but I still have to deal with the fucking bleeding (+PMS) and that sucks donkey balls. I’m SICK of dealing with this messy nastiness. I’ve dealt with it for over 30 years and I AM SICK OF IT. I just want it to stop!!

The Mirena is $800 plus installation fees, so about a grand all together. The Mirena company does offer a payment plan with no interest, which is nice.

Are your cramps worth $1000 to eliminate? That’s really the bottom line. (BTW, you do NOT have to be a breeder to get the Mirena. It is approved for ALL women, regardless of breeder status.)

My point is that the Mirena, while great for cramps, is NOT a substitute for a hysterectomy. If given the option, I’d say go for hysterectomy in a heartbeat.

Mirena gets 2.5 out of 5 stars. NOW: 3.5 stars!