Revenge of the Chick!

[re-edited for clarity 12/2/05 and again on 2/5/06]
Ha! Today I was chatting with a friend who happens to be the sister of a Chick I recently broke up with. My friend was pissed at her sister the chick for screwing up her Christmas Dinner this year.

You see, the Chick pitched a fit when she discovered that her sister has no problem with me. Actually, we’re pretty good friends at this point, and I’m invited to the yearly Christmas Dinner, as usual. The chick wants to make sure that we (well, really me, since I’m the one silly enough to fight with her) are not at the big to-do Christmas Party this year since she now hates me and I’m the devil and she is afraid that I’ll call her out in front of the people she’s recruited to be “on her side”. Well, my friend, who has the same trouble that I do understanding chick behaviour, does not understand why her chick sister is being such a total asshole about the dinner. My friend throws it, pays for it and hosts it at her home and she can’t understand why her sister has anything to say about the guest list (her husband is over it, too). But the chick has gotten the family involved to bolster her position and guarantee that she’ll get her way, so my friend is stuck between Chick Revenge and inviting me to her home for the dinner. I told my friend today: there is no understanding chicks, so don’t worry about us, we will not be hurt in the slightest by not going to the party.

As a matter of fact, I told my friend that this would happen as soon as I broke up with her sister, but being so non-chicky herself, she really couldn’t fathom that her sister would be such a problem. I knew she’d be a problem! Chicks are always a problem. They can’t have a fight without it being life or death. If you fight with them, they’ll demonize you and make it their mission to get as many people as possible to see what a horrible person you are. It’s their way. I think Chicks are the source of about 90% of the drama on the planet.

It’s all about maturity. No, scratch that. It’s about self confidence. I don’t care where the chick goes or if I run into her or not. I’m mature enough to say HI, be civil and rock on and I’m self confident enough to not worry about what she’s saying to everyone. But chicks can’t be that way. That’s why the Chick lurks here at this site. She is paranoid that I’ll say something about her and the whole internet will know. Well, here ya go. (Only the people who know you will have a clue, BTW. And yes, people who know you will recognize you immediately. A point to ponder.)

I’m surprised she didn’t try her best to get us banned from the Jody party just to make it easier for herself to go. [As it turns out, she did indeed get us banned from ALL Decatur Clique parties. I know it makes her feel SO much better to “win”.] Chicks don’t have the balls to say what they mean or to fight then make up (this one couldn’t even talk to me in person, she sent emails). They are so insecure and self absorbed that if you dare cross them, it’s easier for them to just run away crying about how horrible you are and how they can’t possibly be anywhere near you, like, EVER, ohmygod! Chicks are basically so self involved that if they don’t like someone, then by Gods, no one else should either. They lack self confidence, so they play games and recruit other people to be “on their side” to make themselves feel better.

Which is why I count my real girl friends on one hand. A friend is someone with whom you can have a knock-down-drag-out fight and then talk about it and work it out. Chicks canNOT do that. Which is why my list of breakups with chicks is a mile long. Which is why I don’t get too emotionally invested with chicks. They will always, 100% of the time, turn on you and then insist that you are the asshole.

The moral of the story, girls, is this:

If you hear all about the girl’s ex-friends that she now hates because they were so mean and horrible, then assume she’s a chick. If she’s a chick, then do NOT get involved so much that you can’t just walk away. Chicks will burn your ass and then do everything in their power to make you pay for crossing them. It makes them feel validated. That’s the difference between a chick and a girl who can be a real friend.

I’m sorry that my (soon to be ex) friend is being forced to choose between me and her sister, but it’s the way of the chick. I also know that my friend will ultimately choose her sister. Blood is thicker than champagne, after all. She’s not the kind of person to rock the boat. She is a Capricorn peacekeeper and she will NOT go against her family no matter what. So, we can write off all parties at my (soon to be ex) friend’s house, I’m sure. ::sigh:: Oh, well, I guess we’ll just have to throw more parties ourselves this year! Yay!