…for Fear and Loathing™. It’s autumn and my BIG birthday looms. Meh. I usually get a little melancholy this time of year and this year is no different.
I don’t have any big complaints, really. My family – or lack thereof – has been bothering me. I’ve been completely disowned, apparently, and although I’m better off without those people, it still bugs me that somehow I’m always the bad guy. It’s not fair and not true. It’s true that I do think they are militantly ignorant and act like uneducated hillbillies. I’ve got tons of proof of that. That does not mean I feel that I am “better” than they are, it means that I choose to live my life differently and I will not stop living my life as an intelligent, in control, educated adult to appease them. I don’t want to be like them, that doesn’t mean I am a bad person.
They choose to believe that I’m just a bad person who hates them and that’s that. Well, ok, but that’s not the truth.
I cannot do anything for them. I can’t make them get better Drs. I can’t make them take better care of themselves. I can’t make them do what’s necessary to get the care they need. I can’t make my brother listen. I can’t make any of them listen. As I’ve said, my parents could be dead for all I know. Since the big fight with my brother months ago, I’ve not heard a peep.
I guess it’s the not knowing that sucks.
Whatever. I can’t change them and they don’t want my input. I guess they can just sit in that house until they die. ::shrug::
Nick has been feeling bad again, so that’s probably part of my melancholy, too. I’m worried about him. We are pretty sure he has Lyme Disease. I bought a kit from IGenEx to get his blood tested for Lyme with the Western Blot method (the only accurate one, $500) and we are hoping that crazy Dr Erramilli will be onboard for the test and for longterm treatment. There are few Lyme literate Drs in the US and pretty much NONE in the SE US. I hope Erramilli will be willing to go on this journey with us. ::fingers crossed::
I’m just trying to stay positive until my birthday passes. I’ve got Heather coming in town in a few weeks, so that will hopefully be a diversion. I do need to start looking around for a tattoo shop to do our tattoos. They are going to be great!
Well, that’s enough of my whingeing. I’ll post a separate post about Missy Kat’s new diet.
I’ve got family that ain’t blood, and blood that ain’t fsmily. A cheesy Facebook meme, but truth all the same. You do have family that loves and appreciates you, we just aren’t blood. Blood does not make the family, unconditional LOVE is what makes the family. And I love you.