I was just reading some older posts and came across this one from 2013 about long term disappointment. TRIGGER WARNING!!
It’s two years later and although there is still disappointment, we did manage to change up a few things:
– We moved into a nice, large house in the ‘burbs ($1300/mo rent hurts, tho!).
– Maplehurst was finally foreclosed and there was NO impact on our credit. Mine is currently 718.
– We tried (and failed) to start up a restaurant and an arcade company (too bad, so sad).
– We are selling LOTS of things to beef up savings and get ready for whatever is next.
We don’t know what is next other than NuVision shutting down. I guess once that happens we’ll decide what to do. MY vote is to sell most of our crap, put the rest in storage, buy a truck and RV trailer and hit the road for a year. Nick, of course, is not into it. He is never into my ideas. I think our age difference is starting to show. The other day, he actually said “Well, an RV and travel may be fine for you old motherfuckers, but I’m still in my 40s!” Soooo, I guess that’s his position. :(
I feel old – because I am!! 50 will be here shortly and I really don’t know how I feel about it. Menopause sucks – just like everything else having to do with being female – and I just want it to be over. I don’t care about my looks any more, why should I? I’m old and out of the game. I know Nick loves me, it’s not that, it’s just BLEH. I don’t know. I’m over it.
When I complain about middle age, the usual response is “It’s better than the alternative!”, but really? I’m not so sure. I’m more of the “die young and leave a nice looking corpse” group. But it’s too late for that. I’m not young. I’m middle aged. That is a fact. ARGH.
I hope I can get something put together for my birthday, but I’m so not motivated. And I am a little resentful that I have to do all the arrangements for my own birthday. Nick is absolutely useless at planning trips, parties, whatever. Ugh. He doesn’t even try. At this moment, it looks like I’ll be doing nothing for my 50th. Which is so sad and pathetic that I can’t even think about it.
And with that, I’m done with the whining. I’ve got hausfrau things to do: shopping, running Vakoom, etc. The excitement is palpable. :P