Parkers on Ponce

Parkers is in the old Mick’s location in downtown Decatur. It’s run by two brothers, one who used to work at Mick’s and the other with even less restaurant experience.

I got a $50 Groupon a while back and we decided that this weekend is the perfect time to use it. I called and made a 7:30pm reservation. The fact that they prefer reservations to walk ins should tell you the level of frou frou these people are trying to achieve. The interior of the place has been updated with lots of muted colors and stone walls.

We arrived at 7pm and headed to the packed bar. We decided to try a couple of their frou frou overpriced cocktails. I had a pear something that was pear Grey Goose and limoncello (tasty) and Nick got a Pimm’s Cup which was their spin on a traditional Pimm’s cocktail. It had Pimm’s, ginger liqueur, ginger ale and too much mint. Neither drink was particularly pretty and for $9 each, I’d expect at least a garnish. The bartender seemed harried and not particularly friendly.

They came and got us at around 7:15 and sat us at a deuce near the kitchen door. Eh, not the best seat in the house, but at least the deuce was decent sized. The biggest problem with the dining room was the reek of the gas logs in the faux fireplace. It was so pervasive that it made the food taste slightly chemically. I asked the waiter about the reek and he said it “wasn’t too bad tonite”. He regaled us of a time when all the employees got sick from it – yet there it was, lit and stinking. I even spoke to the owner about it and he seemed vague and not really concerned about it. Even when I told him that it affected the taste of my food, he just smiled wanly and was clearly looking to leave our table.

WTF ever, dude, when you charge $33 for a steak, you might be a bit more concerned with your ambiance!

So, this place is trying REALLY hard to be Bone’s of Decatur. Bone’s doesn’t need to worry. The menu is very pricey and there are waitstaff of every stripe buzzing around. Bussers, waiters, food expos, managers. Too many, IMO. Makes for much “excuse me, excuse me” chatter in the dining room. They also give the waiters little name cards of the guests, which is cute, especially when I’d booked us under “Mizgala” and not a single employee could pronounce it. Our waiter was nice and the courses came out fine. He was very professional other than not being able to pronounce a 3 syllable name. :-/

The food. We skipped the appetizers and went straight for the Porterhouse for Two. It’s $52, but comes with 2 sides, so it’s not a bad deal. This menu is all a la carte, so sides will cost you $5 (the same as Bone’s set up). We ordered the Porterhouse cooked Med Rare with Creamed Spinach and Black Truffle Mac n Cheese.

A foreshadowing of the food to come was given with the breadbasket: unsalted butter. Look, if you made a herbed butter, maybe, but for buttering bread? NO. Bland, bland, bland.

The steak was undercooked (rare) and pre cut, which I found a bit disconcerting. What? I can’t cut my own freaking steak? Didn’t like that one bit. Besides that, if I had sent it back for a recook, it would have been overcooked in an instant thanks to being hacked up. This presentation does NOT work for me. The Prime meat was tasty, but there was no seasoning at all. Not a grain of salt or pepper, nothing. I’m all for letting the food stand on its own, but seriously? For $52 you can’t cook to temp and do basic seasoning? I ate it bare, but I won’t lie: A-1 would have at least given it some character. SEASON THE FOOD.

The sides were lackluster as well. The Creamed Spinach was just that: spinach and onions in a bland cream sauce. Again, no seasoning, no garlic, nothing. It was OK, but certainly not memorable. The Black Truffle Mac n Cheese was also nothing to note. The truffles did little for the flavour – I barely noticed. Could have been the strong cheese masking the delicate truffle and it needed salt, of course.

The dessert was the best part of the meal. It was a dark chocolate kahlua cake with a dollop of whipped cream and a caramel drizzle. Very good and perfectly portioned for two.

This place has the right idea, but they need to be more aware of the big picture. Stinking gas logs, employees running all over each other and a kitchen that doesn’t understand basic seasoning all conspire to mar what could be a great little steak house.

Don’t ask me $52 for a steak, then cook it wrong and cut it up!! I’m not THREE!!

I’m glad we tried out Parker’s on Ponce, but had I been paying the full tab, I’d have been LIVID with the stink and the mangled steak. As it was, I got the steak for $25 (Groupon $25 for a $50 coupon), so I didn’t bitch. Will I go back? Nah. Not unless someone else is picking up the tab or I can get another Groupon. This place is seriously not worth the prices they charge. If you charge a premium (like Bone’s) then you better, by gods, give a premium experience. If you want to send out unseasoned, undercooked and hacked up steak, then lower your prices to reflect that. It really doesn’t matter if it’s dry aged, premium high dollar steaks if you can’t cook and present them properly.

I understand that the two owners have no formal food training – and that is the main problem. They are local boys whose father was in local government. I am happy that they opened their restaurant, but honestly, waiting tables and being a manager does NOT an CHEF make. These guys need to get a chef in there that knows cuisine and can present food that justifies what they charge. Hell, at least get someone on the grill who can season and properly cook those high dollar steaks! I’m not sure who told them that “overpriced steak house” was the perfect choice for people with no food experience, but whoever did led them astray. They should have done something much more casual – then they could turn out half assed product and not be held to such a high standard. If this was a casual steak house, I’d give them a much better review.

Like many places in Decatur, it’s always packed because it’s in Decatur. Around here, local is what it’s all about, nevermind the actual quality of the food. This place is the epitome of that. I feel the same about Leon’s. It’s new, it’s in Decatur, it MUST be good!! I heard how wonderful Leon’s was and was underwhelmed when we tried it.

I give Parker’s 2.5 stars out of 5. And most of that is the fact that they are trying to be Bone’s quality and very chi-chi and failing at it. If they’d loosen up the concept and get a better kitchen, it’d be 4 stars.

Bone’s Restaurant

Yes, I’ve finally gotten to eat at Atlanta’s premiere steak house, Bone’s. Ginormous thanks to Heather’s parents, Lou and Chuck Little, for treating us to such an outrageous dinner!

It’s interesting to note that the whole staff is men. This place is in the style of the Men’s Clubs of yore, so you won’t have a female waiting on you here. I did speak to a female reservations agent, but that’s it. We arrived on time (!!) and waited just a moment for our table. We were a party of 6: The Littles, us, Heather and Andy, Heather’s boss.

I’ll also point out that while this place is pricey, it is NOT stuffy. The staff is friendly and not at all stuck up and the food is likewise very straightforward. I like that. I don’t need art on my plate, thanks, just give me food of high quality, prepared correctly and I’ll swoon. (As I did with the Kobe beef carpaccio! I got teary eyed it was so good!) The menu is very small and sticks to the manly stuff like steaks, chops and other grilled food. I like that they do what they do very well. Other restaurants need to learn that lesson.

We had before dinner drinks: Heather and I had Cosmos and Mr Little had scotch and soda. I pored over the HUGE wine menu and chose a Chateau Ste Michelle Columbia Valley 2002 Canoe Ridge Merlot, $48/btl. It’s a drier Merlot that starts with a fruity nose and ends clean on the palate. I was VERY pleased that my blind choice (I went by the vineyard, not personal experience) turned out to work well with the food. We had, uh, several bottles! ;-)

Our fabulous and funny waiter for the evening was Manny. He was awesome! Shout out! I didn’t get the sommelier’s name, sadly, but Manny opened the wine for us, so we didn’t have contact with the sommelier on duty.

Our appetizers were:
Crab and Lobster Napoleon with Chardonnay Cream: crab with a creamy sauce and puff pastry, but not stacked as the traditional Napoleon. Very good.
Scotch Smoked Salmon with Onion, Capers, and Dill Cream. Very tasty wild salmon.
Kobe Tenderloin Carpaccio with Arugula and Parmesan: raw Kobe beef sliced thin as paper with olive oil, shaved parm and garlic. SUBLIME!! If you ever have the opportunity to try Kobe beef – DO IT! It’s so rich that I really don’t think I could eat more than a small appetizer of it. As I said above, it made me tear up it was so amazing!

Our salad course:
Caesar Salads had traditional Caesar dressing that was perfectly prepared atop whole romaine.
House salads were made with field greens. The Bleu Cheese dressing was very good.
Heather had the French Onion soup and she reports that it was perfectly done.

Main Courses:
Nick and I had Mixed Grill of Filet Mignon, Lamb and Pheasant Sausage with a lovely orange demi-glace. The beef is wet-aged, grilled, then the Bone’s Paint seasoning is brushed on after cooking. The pheasant sausage was one of the most tasty sausages I’ve ever had. I must get the brand from them!

Dinner at Bones

Mr Little had the filet (I believe): it’s wet aged and prepared as described above. He said it was delicious.

Mrs Little had the Crispy Halibut with Oyster Mushroom and Lemon Butter Sauce: halibut steak with a lemon butter shroom sauce. She reported that it was excellent.

Andy had a steak (I’m sorry I didn’t get the cut) and he said it was great. He did order A-1 for it, however, which is a bit of a gaffe. But he loved it, which is what matters. :-)

Heather had the Veal Rib Chop with Lemon and Sauteed Mushrooms: a huge veal chop prepared to temp. I did try this and I didn’t care for the veal at Med Rare. Veal is so mild that I feel it needs a bit of cooking to develop the taste. But the chop was lovely and the sauce delicious.

The table’s sides: Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Sauteed Mushrooms and Steamed Broccoli.

The grill cook who prepared our perfectly cooked meats was Darryl! Shout out! The chef on duty was Chef Brent – great work! The food was cooked and presented well.

We had 3 desserts for the table:
Key Lime Pie with Mango and Kiwi Coulis made in house was delicious!
Warm Pecan Pie with Praline Sauce and Vanilla Ice Cream from Southern Sweets was awesome.
Mountain High Pie made in house was basically cake with a ton of whipped cream frosting. It was ok, but more visual than tasty, IMO.

We had coffee and whiskey after dessert. Mmmmm.

So, that’s our experience at Bone’s. It was fabulous and fun!

A huge thanks to Lou and Chuck for burning the numbers off their Amex for us! We truly appreciate it and we did have a really great time! :-)