I consider myself a pretty good wrangler of artists, restaurant folk and other ADHD sorts. But I admit defeat at dealing with holier than thou hippies. I just can’t do it. I took a small job last week to help out some yoga instructors (who are ALWAYS self righteous hippies) with their crappy website. Whoever did it charged them “a lot of money” and made a simplistic html site w/out SEO and other errors. Well, after working with the yoga chick, I hope the first person charged a TON of money. I am walking away after DAYS, I can’t imagine working with this bitch for weeks or months. GAH!
Here is the conversation with the asshole hippy yoga instructor:
Hippy: Well, I thought it was supposed to be the 2nd header with that background?
Me: No, I told you it was the original header with the new green background.
Hippy: Ok, well, I want to have the background lavender with the second header.
Me: Um, ok, so won’t that be too purple? (Yes, I really said TOO PURPLE!)
Hippy: I don’t know, what do you think?
Me: It’s your site, you can do whatever you like. Hang on, let me switch it really quick. [Then Dreamweaver decides to crash.] AH! There goes the software! Geeze [hippy’s name] it’s all your fault!! Then I chuckle to indicate JOKE.
Hippy: [deadpan, humourless voice] Don’t talk to me like that. Don’t say things like that to me.
Me: WHAT? I’m joking, silly! It’s a joke about you crashing my software cuz you’re not here… Oh, nevermind. It was just a joke.
Hippy: [still deadpan, humourless voice] Well, that doesn’t work for me.
Me: What? Jokes don’t work for you? You’re kidding me!
Hippy: NO. I’m not. That upset me.
Me: Um. Well. ??
Hippy: …
Me: I’m not sure what the problem is exactly, but wait, aren’t you MARRIED to a Scorpio? How can you be married to one of us and act this way??
Hippy: It’s very difficult.
Me: [inside voice, thankfully] I’ll just bet, you self righteous hippy bitch!! I’ll bet your husband wants to kill you most of the time. I’ll offer to help him hide your skinny body when he does…
Me: [outside voice] The only reason I’m being this nice is because you are a client. Is there anything else you want done with the colors?
Then we finally get a fucking header combo she likes and I get off the phone. I wish the hippies good luck finding anyone who’ll help with their crappy website. As long as the wife is allowed to speak to the person doing the work, nothing will get done. No one wants to work with a psycho hippy bitch. No one.
I wish I could say this is unusual. But it isn’t. New age hippies tend to be the biggest assholes you’ll ever have to deal with. I hope you guys never have to deal with this sort of abuse. Ugh.