They only call me with bad news, the family. My dad called today to tell me that my Granny is on her way out. He sounded pretty shitty himself. The COPD is really bad when the pollution is high like it is now.
This is not a surprise. They stuck her in a home and she’s been losing her mind ever since. It’s taken a coupla years, but she’s finally succumbing to dementia and has been reduced to a raving lunatic. They tell me she rants nothing but curses and “Help Me!!”. It breaks my heart. Again I wonder why we can’t put humans out of their misery like we do our pets. It’s just not right.
After hearing this news, I’m doubly glad I did not choose to go see her a couple of weeks ago. I really do not want to lose my last memories of her at home, chatting with us, having a good day. That is the memory I want and that’s the memory I have. You may think me selfish for this, but I have to differ with you. Going to see her now would not impact her at all, it would only impact me in a negative way. I really don’t see the point in that. If she was lucid, that’s one thing, but she’s not. She hasn’t been for quite a while. So I stand by my decision to remember her as she was rather than as she is now.
Once she’s crossed over I’ll write a long post about my memories of Granny. Until then, it’s the waiting. I look forward to her crossing. It will end this horrible existence for her and she will be happy then. May the goddess bless her soul.