This year has been one of letting go. I’ve had to let go of my expectations of people and just let things be. That doesn’t mean that I’m not still hurt by people who I thought were friends but turned out to be…something else. Nor does it mean that all the unkept “plans” are going unnoticed. It’s hard for me not to take it all personally. I’m learning to do that. Change is the only constant. I am working to embrace change and stop clinging to old paradigms.
I’ve realised that expecting people to want to hang out is just not a good use of my time. Atlanta is huge. I get that. But it just seems that WE are expected to drive an hour to see ANYONE, but they won’t do it for us. Hell, even proposing meeting halfway is shunned. ::shrug:: We all have our haunts, true. But why are OUR haunts somehow less attractive? That is what I wonder. My suspicious nature tells me that there’s more to this. My inner demon says “you’re not worth it”. THAT is the voice that must be squelched at all costs.
So, we’ve turned our full attention to the pub. What else can we do? No one wants to do anything, so we’ll just entertain ourselves. I am starting to wonder if we’ll even have anyone show up for “friends and family” tastings at the pub. Given the lackluster responses of late, I’m thinking NOPE. Guess I’ll have to rely on employees to fulfill that task. And that is fine by me. I’m tired of feeling like a nag; nagging to get together, nagging to come to a party, nag, nag, nag. Ugh. Inner demon: “you’re not worth it”.
Whatever. We’re about to create our own tribe and for that I’m grateful. I’m tired of trying to break in (or stay in) certain circles. If we don’t fit, that’s juuuuust fine. We’re GOING to fit in our OWN place, that will be full of OUR PEOPLE. People who want to be around us. People who WANT to come to our place and hang out. People who appreciate what we’ve got to offer. Inner demon BE DAMNED. WE ARE WORTH IT.
As Beyoncé says: “Always be gracious. Best revenge is your paper.” And in this case, you can add “best revenge is your TRIBE that YOU create”. For once in our lives, we’ll be our own social point. No cliques, no half assed friends, no bullshit “plans”, no chasing other people around to have company. Just a family of our own making. I look forward to it more than I can articulate. WE ARE WORTH IT.
I know all this sounds so narcissistic, but I don’t really care. I’ve spent too much time trying to entice people to me or ingratiate myself into cliques. It’s time to complete the reemergence. I’m ready to let go of the past and start a new future. WE ARE WORTH IT.
If you want to join us, we’d welcome that. If not, no harm, no foul. But don’t expect invites, either. Friendship is a two way street. And I’m tired of trying to drive BOTH lanes. Fuck that. If you can’t be bothered to give us a modicum of support, even if only in WORDS, then you’re out. If, however, you HAVE been giving us support, even if it’s only words, we appreciate it. And WE SEE YOU. Expect spiffs. I’ve got things planned for the people who’ve been instrumental in making this pub happen. There ARE points for participation.
WE ARE WORTH IT.