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Ah, Gotta Love Trolls!

Alton Brown has a multitude of trolls following him – the asshole snarky types always do. So for all of you who are checking out my site because of the flap with AB, well, here ya go. Use the dropdown menu on the left to look at my recipes while you’re here. There are no pickling or canning recipes there, you’ll notice.

I said that you can put up tomatoes with a water bath. I did NOT say you MUST or everyone should. I said you CAN. And that statement is correct. Tomatoes are less acidic now than they used to be, but you can simply acidify them and use a water bath.

Here is the official guide to canning foods from the fucking National Center for Home Food Preservation! You’ll notice the instructions for tomatoes in a WATER BATH. It’s BETTER to use a pressure canner for them, but not impossible to use a water bath as long as the acidity is adjusted. So stop telling me about it, OK? Personally, I’d just not bother with tomatoes at all. I make jam and pickles. That’s it.

The trolls are working on two false assumptions:
1. Alton Brown is ALWAYS right ALL the time.
2. ALL tomatoes canned by water bath are full of botulism and will kill you.

BOTH of those statements are wrong. Flat out, 100% bullshit. AB is NOT the only voice of cooking. AB is not always right. Tomatoes are not inherently full of botulism you dolts. Botulism happens IF the tomatoes are not properly processed, the seal doesn’t set or they are not acidic enough. Acidity can be controlled by adding an acidifier such as lemon juice or ascorbic acid. Acidity will prevent botulism. As will a pressure canner. BOTH WILL WORK. To all the trolls who know absolutely nothing about canning, but felt the need to tell me how stupid I am: fuck off.

AB is a great chef. He’s an asshole on twitter – and probably in person as well, I’ll bet. As I said:

Alton Brown is to food what Scott Kurtz is to comics. Which is a snarky, mean spirited asshole to anyone who dares express a differing opinion.

Which is FINE! It’s their shtick! All I have to do is block them and the trolls and tra-la-la my mellow is again restored. :D

So, if you are here to check out my shit, go right ahead. Check out the awesome recipes while you’re here, too. But please don’t tweet me about this. I really don’t care what you think about the scrap with AB. The bottom line is that we are both right and the whole thing was nothing more than a troll’s delight. If you still feel the need to say something about your butthurt, please use the form in the right column. —>>>

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Another Kitty Haiku

Comma shaped fur balls
Nap on my bed while purring
Free belly for me.

I wish I did haiku more justice. It is a very beautiful and complex art form. I like its brevity. I enjoy Emily Dickinson’s work for the same reason: I like the density of the meanings crammed in so few words. Truly an art form!

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I am the Chicken Queen!

This weekend, I cooked a lot. It soothes me and makes me very zen. I’m so proud of all I accomplished with a bit of chicken and some veg! I got three meals off of ONE chicken.

First, I made Chicken Fricassee. I cut up the chicken myself – I’m slow but I do OK. I made stock out of the backbone and chicky bits. So Saturday we had a delicious fricassee and I got 2 quarts of stock as well as about 1.5 cups of leftover braising liquid from the fricassee. I had a feeling that braising liquid would be great in a soup…

Sunday I picked the chicky bones leftover from the stock and got about 2/3 cup chicken that I used for a frittata. Sunday afternoon I made chicken soup from the stock and braising liquid. I added 5 pc of frozen chicken tenders, 1 cup mirepoix and 2/3 cup barley. I used dill as the herb because I was in the mood for dill. Voilà! 3 meals off the same chicken!

Also on Sunday, I made eggplant caponata. I started with Anne Burrell’s recipe (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/caponata-recipe/index.html) and modified it, of course. I added lemon zest (about a Tbl) and I used basil, cilantro and the fennel fronds for the herbs. I also tossed in some grape tomatoes with the eggplant to roast. YUM! I served this with shoulder steak (since I couldn’t find flat iron). Not a huge fan of shoulder steak, I shoulda gotten the flank steak. The shoulder steak reminded me a lot of hangar steak; kind of stringy but flavourful. It was a really tasty meal that was low fat and lean protein. Yay for tasty diets!

We’ve been doing great on our resolution to cut back booze and quit smoking. Of course, the DJ Incident™ probably has a lot to do with that, but whatever. I’ll take it. I’ve not smoked in a week – even when surrounded by smokers! And I’ve not had more than 1-2 glasses of wine per night in that time as well. Several nights with NONE. Maybe we can cut back the booze without Naltrexone? It’s certainly going well so far! YAY!!

This week I’m in the mood for pickles. I hope the Farmer’s Market has pickling cucumbers! I’m feeling zesty garlic dill, bread ‘n butter and maybe a coupla jars of asparagus. I’ll take pix! Everyone have a great week!