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The MEH Continues

The Pollening™ has begun in earnest. Seems early this year? Is it early? I dunno, time has become so fluid now, it is impossible to tell if something happened one or four years ago. Sigh.

We are doing pretty well here at the Weasel Lair™. Nick’s job is going, he got the small raise and a bonus to make up for not getting the big raise. I’m still slumming over at MRC. Not sure how much longer that will go, the work with my hands has brought forth a trigger finger on my right ring finger and overall stiffness and pain in both hands. Arthritis, no doubt. Thanks Gran and Mom! BUT the result of the effort is good, we are finally AHEAD on bills and the CCs are being paid down. Progress is good and it’s alleviating much of the doldrums we’ve been in, but MEH is still our overall state.

Shasti had a clean bill of health other than the one gum spot that STAYS gross and infected. Tooth is fine, but that spot is always an issue. She got an antibiotic shot and we are to attempt to clean the area with kitty toothpaste. LOL This should be fun! Dr says, “But she’s SO GOOD!” and I reply “She is for YOU.” This is a quote from TNG episode Genesis:

She is for YOU.
“She is for YOU.”

Everything is trundling along. Time flies. We’ll have been here for TEN YEARS in June. Shasti is probably a bit older than we estimated, likely 11-12ish. I don’t want to think about that. So many friends are losing pets I just CAN’T think about losing her right now.

I feel somewhat untethered of late. Just sort of floating along. I think Nick is the same. We are in the same pool, but not on the same float, if that makes sense. It’ll pass.

We wrapped up our long distance client and Nick is working to wrap up several other clients that have been languishing. Time to move on. We’re selling off a bunch of project cabinets, too. We’ve basically shut down POAS as far as new clients and projects. We’ve not received any invitations to cons this year, so we’re not even sure we’ll do THAT. If they ask, we feel obliged to go – if nothing else, to hold our spot. If they don’t ask, I guess we’ll take the year off. ::shrug:: I wish I cared more, but honestly, cons are fun, but VERY, VERY stressful and tiring. And we’re OLD. Might be time to just stop all of it. We shall see. We’ll just continue taking care of our core client and see how it goes.

Guess that’s about it for what’s going on around here. Like I said: MEH. I’d love to hear from y’all, feel free to comment, it’s open. :)

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State of the Casa

Time for the January State of the Casa™ post.

Still not great.

We’ve cut down the drinking, which has helped with sleep and overall health. Not doing much for my overall attitude, tho.

We’ve got a list of inexpensive places to visit here in town that we never have, or like and want to revisit. Since we are still digging out of $20k of CC debt (thanks a ton, MinuteMan), we can’t afford to have an actual vacay. But it’s been so long since we’ve had one, I guess it doesn’t matter any more, right? Sure. Sigh. Here’s our list of ATL attractions:

Carter Center (never been!)
Cyclorama/Atlanta History Center (never been! it is in a new location in Buckhead)
Atlanta Zoo (haven’t been in decades)
Polaris (restaurant atop downtown Hyatt, never been!)
Sundial at Weston, IF they ever turn on the rotation again (thanks, tourists, for fucking this up for all of us)
Botanical Garden (haven’t been in a decade)
Fernbank Science Center (haven’t been in over a decade, this is the small original one with the planetarium and observatory)
Fernbank Museum (never been! I still call it “the new Fernbank” LOL)
Delta Flight Museum (just found out about it!)
Millennium Gate Museum at Atlantic Station (went a few yrs back for a Japanese exhibit, going to see the Bruno Zupan show coming up!)
MODA (Museum of Design Atlanta in Colony Square) waiting for the next exhibit

It’s another year of staycation for us and that makes me sad. I’m just in a constant state of sadness and defeat these days. As I posted a while back, I’m just TIRED of everything.

Nick’s new job is coming along. He’ll be getting a raise in a few weeks. My prep job is fine, but I’ve blown out my right ring finger (trigger finger), so we’ll see how long I can continue – that is my knife grip hand. OF COURSE something happens to ruin it. OF COURSE. We’re slowly, every so slowly, getting ahead of bills. We had $400 extra after rent this month, which hasn’t happened in YEARS. As long as I can limp along at the prep job, my income will continue to beat down the CC debt.

We need so see the dentist (4 yrs), I need to see the gyno (3+ yrs), Shasti needs her check up (she’s on schedule), but as always, we have to pick and choose due to money concerns. Dentist is about $400 for both of us, gyno is about $200 and Shasti will run me about $150 for whatever she needs – thankfully her gums are OK. Oh, and I also desperately need a haircut, which is $80. I am tired just thinking about all this. Sigh.

I’m just existing. I am depressed. I’m going to see if I can find a yoga class we can take, maybe that will help at least get our bodies unwound a bit. I have been thinking about some creative artsy things to do, but my depression is keeping me from even bothering. I’ve had some level of depression since the Pub Debacle™, it is sometimes worse than others. We are in a worse phase, which is typical for this time of year. I have begun doing a one card tarot pull every day. So far, not much in the way of help from that. I’m probably too unfocused to get anything from it, but I’m trying to set a habit. Got a new deck for xmess, so why not? I also got some books about the sabbats, in an effort to reignite my witchy side.

I’ve been trying to cook more as well. I’ve got less free time now, so I try to cook early in the week, like today (Sunday) and tomorrow (Monday). Cooking is still a salve to my raggedy soul. Guess I should see what I can cook this week. Ciao.

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It’s That Time of Year!

Halloween and my birthday are looming. Temps have dropped and leaves are turning. Aaaaaah!

For us, it has been a season of much change. Nick got a new job at a large format printing company and will be doing much of the same things he did at NuVision back in the day. It’s an all Mac shop (as it should be!) and he’ll get to do IT as well as prepress work. The pay is only $20 to start, but this will go to $21 in 60 days, with another evaluation at 6 months. We are confident that he’ll get towards the rate he should be making within a year or so. He’ll never make $75k like he did at NVG, but being around the $55-60k mark would be about right for what’s left of the print industry. He’ll be doing two jobs, after all, so compensation will be commensurate.

I picked up a p/t prep job at a nearby cafeteria. It’s simple work: veg and salad prep. I’m making $15/hr, which is pretty much minimum these days. The place is on autopilot – there really is no leadership at all. The line cooks run the kitchen and the food they cook is MEH on a good day. They do a few things right, but overall the food is bland and boring. One really funny thing is the “mac n cheese”. I put that in quotes because they do NOT make mac n cheese. This guy makes some sort of abomination that is egg, (YES EGGS IN MAC N CHEESE!!!) milk, cheddar cheese and elbow macaroni. It breaks when it’s cooked (no binder such as flour) and it is NAISTY. I dunno where he learned THAT recipe (yes I do, it’s from S&S cafeteria, GROSS), but that is NOT mac n cheese! Aside from nasty food, the work is fine. Since there’s no management, I come in and manage myself. PERFECT! No one bothers me, no one asks me how long it takes me to poop (YES this happened at TJX) and I enjoy observing how the kitchen works. One thing this job has also done for me is to confirm that I do, indeed, know a LOT about running a kitchen and overall restaurant ops. I work a coupla days a week, but the manager has already detected that I can work pretty much any position, so he’s asking me to pick up shifts outside the kitchen. I like being an all purpose employee. Variety suits me. :) [Unfortunately, they steal wages. I have to leave. And I have to report them. SIGH.]

We saw Weird Al on Friday night. We don’t recommend this tour AT ALL. Emo Phillips opened, and while I’m glad I can say I saw a set by him, it was overall, very sad and not funny. As for the Al part, when the band came out and SAT DOWN, I knew this was not going to be a typical Weird Al show – and it wasn’t. This tour is pretty much all B sides, so no one knows the songs. The crowd was not very engaged and we left early. Nick had been overserved, was not happy with the music and became agitated, so we bailed. The good news is that we earned enough $ this weekend to cover the cost of the Weird Al debacle.

That’s really all I got for updates. We dealt with a LOT of anxiety in the weeks before Nick was hired and now we’re getting through the last week of his MM employment on the other side of town. The new gig is about 15 minutes from here with NO INTERSTATES!! That alone will make all the difference. Well, that and his having a REAL job, not just some shitty print shop where it’s all about volume and he’s just a brain attached to a PC.

My birthday is Nov 11th and I don’t want to discuss the number. It freaks me out a little. Suffice it to say, I don’t look it, I don’t act it and I certainly do NOT feel it.

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE!!!

Happy Halloween, y’all!

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I Survived Captain Trips!

I tested positive after DragonCon this year. Not a shock at all, but an inconvenience.

This current strain is very transmissible, but also pretty mild. It was like a very light flu. I had a low grade fever for about a week with some light congestion and cough.

Nick got it, too, despite his getting a booster right before con. All the booster did for him was make the tests give a false negative. He’s a couple of days behind me in recovery.

I’m on day 9 today. I tested positive yesterday but no fever since Thursday, so I think I’m done. The rules are unclear and most places have given up trying to control the spread. I put off starting the p/t job until I at least had no fever, so with that done, I’ll be starting on Monday. I’ve got a jury summons for Monday as well, but if I get called, they’ll give me a 3 month waiver due to the Covid infection.

I’m happy to have a p/t job – gods know we need the money. Nick is also pursuing two jobs that pay better than MM and are on this side of town. I really hope he gets one of them! Even a buck or two more without an hour long commute would be excellent. [He did! He will start at the new gig on Halloween!]

So, I feel a bit more positive than I have for a while. At least money will be less tight with me bringing in a coupla hundred per week. I got a notice from Macy’s Northlake that they want to hire me, but I think I’ll go with TJX even tho there’s a commute. For some reason, that store appeals to me. WE SHALL SEE. LOL I give it 2 weeks before they get on my last nerve. [YEP, 2 weeks is all I could stand. The horrible management did me in. After being accused of riding the clock, then grilled about how long it takes me to pee and poop, I WALKED. No more retail for me, it has become less desirable than fucking fast food. UGH. I began a prep job instead and I love it. See next post!]

That’s the state of the Weasels on this fine September day. Mercury Rx has been a bitch, but hopefully it will not interfere with Nick’s job hunt. It didn’t hurt mine. We will likely drive to Buford tomorrow to fix a game at the skating rink. It’s been put off due to the plague. Need to get that out of the way. Then we need to get the bathroom painted. It is disgusting with mold growth despite our best efforts. Sigh.

So I can definitely say “I Survived Captain Trips” now! I’ll wear my shirt with pride! LOL Get yours at Tee Public!

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My City Lies In Dust

But, whoa, oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Whoa, oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Your city lies in dust
– Cities In Dust, Siouxsie and the Banshees

Long time no post. I know. I have finally hit the wall with the burnout and have closed down for the most part. It’s what I do when I reach this point: I shut down. And BOY have I shut down this time! I let it go way too far and I’m done. I’m dust.

This burnout started in May with the two conventions back to back. I knew it’d be hard, but I underestimated the long term effects of all that. June was consumed with catching up from May and Nick was occupied with sorting junk for the SFGE sales, which was last weekend.

I hit the wall Wed night, as did Nick, I think. My reaction to all this bullshit is to shut down. His is to drink too much. I drink too much, too, but the shut down usually halts the drinking for me. In any case, Thursday was rough; I did nothing but eat junk, sleep and watch movies. I don’t think I spoke at all that day. Yesterday (Friday), I had to do TEV errands, but after that, I again did very little. We had leftovers for dinner and I had a little sake, in bed by 10.

Only to be rudely awakened by our idiot contractor at 6:50am, demanding his check and thinking he can start running jackhammers at 7am in a residential neighborhood on the fucking weekend. He cannot. BUT, OF COURSE, I had to look this up, since a PROFESSIONAL – with the goddam internet in his hand!! – cannot be bothered. And I really didn’t want a noise ordinance ticket from Tucker.

This is the root of my burnout and general dissatisfaction with humanity right now: I am sick of doing all the work for everyone who is too lazy or ignorant to use the goddam resources available to solve their own problems.

I am tired of doing all the logistics for stupid fucking games and stupid fucking JUNK that needs to be gone.
I am tired of doing all the problem solving for, well, everyone.
I am tired of being the rescue system for so many.
I am tired of being broke.
I am tired of being rejected from even menial jobs because I won’t sign my life over for P/T.
I am tired of the constant struggle just to survive.
I am tired of not being able to help Nick at all with his shitty job and low pay.
I am tired of being tired.
I am tired of this burnout that seems to have no end in sight.

I’m sure there’s more I can whine about, but that list will suffice for now.

I know that things are not that bad in the big scheme of things. We have a place to live and are mostly paying our bills. All the credit cards are maxed, but hey, it’s the American way, right? We are healthy (bodily, anyway, mentally? not so much) and so is the cat. The fucking Ranger is patched up and working for now. The driveway is being fixed by an annoying, clueless contractor, but fixed nonetheless.

So I guess I should just SHUT IT.

And I will. But I think I’ll take this weekend to get over myself and start fresh on Monday. Nothing else to be done. I’ll do some cooking and perhaps mix with the neighbors for a bit for their Annual Bourbon Party. I doubt I’ll be able to put up with people for long, but it’s an opportunity to cook and have some good bourbon, so go I shall.

Guess I’ll just take this dust and make bricks. It’s the only way to go forward. On to the next thing.