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The Fallacy of Facebook

As everyone knows, I’ve been trying to restart Drink & Draw for the last several months. It’s been pretty much a fruitless effort. I knew starting up over the holidays was probably not the best time, but we decided to run with it anyway.

It’s been hard to find cosplayers that have not been spoiled by the previous Drink & Draw. Mellow Mushroom paid them $75 + full meal/drink comps, which is a bit much, in my opinion. I’ve run into many of the alumni from MM who won’t even talk to me unless I offer them the same deal. Well, guess what? NO. We are starting up, we don’t have that kind of budget. It’s been annoying for me and I would be lying if I didn’t say I have a list of all the cosplayers who’ve refused. I do. And they’ll never hear from me again. I’d also be lying if I said “sorry” for that. I’m not sorry! I don’t have time to deal with people who are not even trying to be supportive.

On the other hand, I’ve found some really awesome cosplayers who are more than happy to pose for a giftcard and tips. I’ve been picking up their tab, which is fine with me. I truly appreciate these fine people who understand what we’re trying to do and are willing to throw in some time for a giftcard. These are the people that I will contact again if The Imperial gig continues or when I open my own place. The lesson in this is BE SUPPORTIVE if you possibly can. It will go further than being all about the benjamins.

So, my original reason for this post is to debunk some Facebook (FB for short) bullshit for you. Especially if you have a business or group on FB and think that it’s helping you.

It is not.

I’ve been running FIVE FB pages for the last few years. Two are restaurants, two are our businesses and one is for the Drink & Draw group. I can tell you with certainty that these pages do absolutely nothing to promote anything. FB will tell you that “Likes” matter and content matters. It does not. People like things all day long without ever coming back to the page. FB will not show anyone your page unless you pay them. It is a fact.

I can also tell you that when you have a group page and then have events, it does not matter how many people say they are attending. Odds are that none of them will actually show up.

It’s the FB effect: like or say YES but then never think about it again.

The Drink & Draw page is the perfect example. I say we’re canceling and get a surge of Likes and people saying they will attend, but when the event happens, it’s the same FOUR people as always. FB is absolutely useless. FB will make you think you’re doing great, but when the rubber hits the road, it’s all as empty as a repost of a kitten video. I cross post to FB from the site(s), but that’s it. I don’t spend time posting to FB and I don’t advise clients to do that, either. It’s a waste of time.

As far as social media goes, Twitter is a far better use of your time. All my clients have twitter feeds (I run FIVE of those, as well!) that are automagically fed from wordpress. I also post things to the feeds periodically. Just crosspost from wordpress to cover your bases. Automation is your friend. :)

Don’t skip having a website! FB is NOT the same thing and it will NOT give you as much exposure as a simple website will. Trust me on this one. If you are a small business, you absolutely need a decent website. Don’t let the fallacy of Facebook fool you into thinking that it will do the job just as well as a real site for the low low cost of FREE. You get what you pay for and FB proves that. Buy your domain and get a site set up. Use wordpress.com – it’s free and it’s easy to use. AND it’s Google friendly. It’s just a cost of doing business to have a site. DO IT.

And a final note: if you are a restaurant or bar, go claim your Yelp profile and any others that are out there: Foursquare, Urban Spoon, etc. By claiming the profile, you take control of what is posted and you can get really solid feedback from customers. It is a tool that is very underutilized by the service industry. USE IT, IT IS FREE!

I could make money consulting with restaurants about this, I’m sure. But instead, I’ve put it here for all to use! I hope this helps out just ONE entrepreneur. That would make me VERY happy. Go forth and CROSS POST! :D

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Haikus

Cow cat sits staring
Jedi mind tricks for dinner
Feed me now you will

Grey and foggy rain
Drizzle so light and soggy
Makes me a housecat

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Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

There might be some Peeves in here – I do have a herd of them after all – but I’ll try to keep the list to my oddities rather than Peeves. I bitch about my peeves PLENTY! LOL Ok, here goes, no particular order:

– I was reading at almost high school levels when I was six.
– New Math (of the early 70s variety) messed with my ability to learn math, although I am quite good at the basics and can figure percentage in my head.
– As a kid, I had trouble learning to tie my shoes and ride a bike. I’m still quite clumsy.
– For you youngsters: back in the olden days (1970s) we ALL got chicken pox and mumps and we all had our tonsils out. It was just normal procedure. Now there are vax for the pox/mumps and no one gets their tonsils out. Which skeeves me out, man. Tonsils and adenoids are the most disgusting things EVAR. Look it up. I don’t want those in ME. EWWWW!
– I had a show horse in my early teens. The trainers my parents chose wouldn’t let me ride it. Then they stole it. REALLY.
– I’ve had a checking account since I was 14.
– I had 3 horses (not the show one) and a goat in my teens. We also had tons of cats but only one dog.
– Speaking of dogs, my parents had a female German Shepherd before we kids came along. That dog was old when we were small and it bit me once. It was a minor bite, but my parents did not console me and I had nightmares about dog attacks for years. I don’t dislike dogs, but you’ll never see me have one or be very friendly with one. I don’t trust them AT ALL.
– I have a very good memory in general. However, it’s fading as I age. I’ve never remembered names well, tho. But you can bet that I’ll remember if you are nice or mean to me.
– I am a human GPS. I regularly drive across the country without maps or GPS. I rarely have to use a map even in new places. Once I take a look at the road layout online or in an atlas, I’m good. I’ve given directions to people in towns I don’t even live in. Once I’ve been somewhere, I will remember it. I can give you directions for anything in Tucson, AZ, for instance.
– I can find four-, five-, six- leaf clovers easily.
– I am an avid birdwatcher. I can identify numerous birds by sight and/or song.
– I am not a germaphobe, but the thought of putting on someone else’s worn clothing without washing first makes me absolutely FREAK OUT. I am also freaky about towels; particularly hand towels. I won’t use one in someone else’s house.
– Speaking of someone else’s house, I strongly dislike sleeping over. I’m always a greasy headed mess in the mornings and I guess I’m just too vain. ? It doesn’t feel like vanity as much as the fact that I HATE showering, etc. at someone else’s house. I’m fine at a hotel.
– I don’t mind at all having people stay at MY house. We used to have wild parties with sleepovers quite often. Now that we’re older and the partying is minimal, we don’t have guests as often, but I don’t mind it.
– Although I have tattoos, I will pass out at any sort of needle. It’s worse for medical needles than a tattoo machine, but the end result is the same. The sound of a tatt machine excites me and I don’t find it horribly painful, but I’ll feel woozy and have to have a break to fight the fainting. Once I’ve done that, I’m fine.
– I am terrified of the dentist. Thank the gods I have good teeth. My parents took us to an Army dentist when we were kids and he would drill our teeth w/out novocaine. CHILDREN. My brother also has dental anxiety. Thanks Mom & Dad. >:(
– I cannot STAND an open toilet. Can. Not. Stand. It. To me, there is nothing more offensive. Close that fucker up and put a fuzzy cover on it for chrissakes! What is wrong with people?
– I have trouble driving automatic vehicles. I’ve always (and WILL ALWAYS) had manuals and my feet get confused when there’s nothing to do. I also forget to put it in P when I park. I always want to use the parking brake, too, since that’s proper procedure for all manual vehicles. Put it in First and pull the brake. Bam.

That’s all for now. I’m a weird girl. Here’s your proof! LOL

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ALL Mirena updates AND Removal (2011 – 2020)

Updates for Mirena over the years (original review after updates):
1. 3/26/12 I’m currently on week 8 w/out a period! Yay! But I doubt it’ll last. I’ve had all other indicators of impending bleeding, but none yet. So. I still give it 2.5, but if the periods stop I’ll up it to 3 or 3.5 perhaps. Here’s to hoping!

2. Dec 2012 So, it’s been almost 2 years now and I’m happy with Mirena. The periods stopped a few months ago (Sep?) and I only have occasional spotting. All is well for me and I’ll give Mirena 3.5 stars. The first year is a bitch, but once everything settles, it seems to work like a charm. Hysterectomy would still be more efficient, but if you don’t want that, then Mirena is a pretty good choice.

3. October 2013: Still chugging along with Mirena at almost 3 years. I sometimes get light cramps, but I’ve not bled in a long time. YAY! Mirena has been great for me. Perhaps by the time this one needs replacing (it’s a 5 year device) I’ll be ready to yank out the Vile Organ. ::fingers crossed::

4. December 2015: As I am coming up on the 5 year mark (Jan 2016), I was getting anxious about having to replace the Mirena. Since the previous update, I’ve had no periods and things have been great. It’s about as close to hysterectomy as you can get w/out the knife. Fortunately, my gyno informed me that I do NOT have to replace the Mirena since I don’t use it for birth control. She wants me to keep going on this one to see how long the drugs actually work. I’ve become a test case to see the ACTUAL lifespan of the Mirena for therapeutic use rather than birth control. I’ll post more info as time passes.

5. January 2018: At year 7 and still working! Yay! I still have no periods, no PMS, no nuttin. The only time I’ll see a spot is if I’m really sick, really stressed or post surgery. I had Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy in May 2016 and spotted a little after that, but other than that? It’s like the vile organ isn’t even there. The Mirena is the best thing I’ve ever done besides VSG. I’m 70# thinner, I feel great and I still have no vile organ issues! I *do* have some hot flashes, but so far, that’s it. I am 52 and my gyno is interested to see how the Mirena interacts with menopause. I am interested as well. I’ll report more when things happen. (Oh, I did find out that it’s no longer “Mirena”, it’s something else now, but basically the same product.)

6. March 2020: Finally got the Mirena removed. I forgot to mention that at my last visit to the gyno, she informed me that I’d gone through menopause. !! I had no idea!! She said that since it worked so well for me as a menopausal facilitator, she’s going to recommend it to other pre-menopausal women. I had the Mirena for 9 years and it supposedly stopped working at year 5-6. Since I went through menopause at the same time, it’s hard to say. All I can tell you is that it is MAGICAL and I highly recommend it! I had no periods after the first year of adjustment and as I said, I went through menopause without knowing it. Having it removed was literally NOTHING. I was nervous, but on the table she said, “hey, can you hold your breath for a second?” and by the time I answered, she’d popped it out! LOL She held it up and said AHA!! It was all discoloured and gnarly looking, too! EW! But that damn thing worked like a charm and was worth EVERY PENNY of the grand it took to get it.

My overall opinion of the Mirena (or whatever it’s called now) is, if you CAN get it, DO IT. Ovarian cysts will disqualify you and perhaps some other things. There are horror stories of the pain involved with getting one installed, but I didn’t have that. It was odd and slightly painful for a second, but I didn’t have any big issues with the install. And once it’s in, it’s good to go. Mirena changed my life! It ended the horrible periods and got me through menopause seamlessly. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

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Original post:

I had the Mirena (IUD w/ hormones) installed Jan 3 2011. Read about what it was like to get the IUD installed HERE. The first year has mostly sucked. I had a three+ month long period after I first got it. No cramps, but I fucking bled nonstop. Then it backed off and I was having a period every 5-7 weeks with no cramping. BUT STILL HAVING THEM. That went on for months then I had a 2 month break Oct-Nov, then on Thanksgiving, it came back with a vengeance – complete with mild cramps. I just finished another period with mild cramps. :(

So, the promise of no periods with Mirena has been a LIE for me. I’m not surprised. Nothing involving the Vile Organ EVER works as advertised with me. Yes, I’m glad to not have incapacitating cramps, but I still have to deal with the fucking bleeding (+PMS) and that sucks donkey balls. I’m SICK of dealing with this messy nastiness. I’ve dealt with it for over 30 years and I AM SICK OF IT. I just want it to stop!!

The Mirena is $800 plus installation fees, so about a grand all together. The Mirena company does offer a payment plan with no interest, which is nice.

Are your cramps worth $1000 to eliminate? That’s really the bottom line. (BTW, you do NOT have to be a breeder to get the Mirena. It is approved for ALL women, regardless of breeder status.)

My point is that the Mirena, while great for cramps, is NOT a substitute for a hysterectomy. If given the option, I’d say go for hysterectomy in a heartbeat.

Mirena gets 2.5 out of 5 stars. NOW: 3.5 stars!

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Nurture

It’s hard for people to understand me, I get that. Maybe this post will help. I’ve modified it a bit [edited 2015], but the message is the same.

My family totally ignores me, my opinions, my life. They have always ignored how I felt and what I said as well as demean my opinions as silly. This is where my “attitude” and my tenacity about my opinions comes from.

My parents told me a lot of bullshit when I was small. I’d ask a question and they’d give me some folklore crap as the answer and I’d believe them. Then I’d turn around and tell someone else this crap and get laughed at. Scorpios do not like to be laughed at. Especially Scorpio children. So I suffered quite a bit at the hands of my ignorant family. Here’s one example of how my lovely family treated me:

When I was in first grade (at the age of 7 because my mother couldn’t be bothered to enroll me “early” due to my November birthday), I had a “Yankee” teacher from Indianapolis. She had an accent, naturally, so I picked up on it. My family was at KFC and I said the word slaw. I pronounced it with the midwest accent, so it was “slah”. My father ridiculed me for this right there in front of everyone working the counter and made me repeat after him as he said it the Tennessee way: slaaaaw. I remember feeling so stupid and so angry that he’d treat me that way. He treated me like I was an idiot because I simply used the accent that I was hearing all day at school. This was (and is) how my family treats children – or anyone different from them. Everyone else has an accent, but NOT THEM. I love to point out that everyone has an accent, period. They tell me I’m stupid. ::sigh::

This led me to become extremely militant about looking up answers for myself and NOT believing anything I’m told without some sort of proof. I’m still this way. I am accused often of having a ‘know it all’ attitude, but I really truly do not, I’m just not going to believe anything unless it can be backed up with some sort of facts. I’m also perceived as a very obstinate, opinionated person who won’t change my mind EVER. That is also totally incorrect. I will change my mind. No one believes this, but I will and I have on numerous occasions. I also DO hear what is said to me. It may not appear that I do, but believe me, I hear and I REMEMBER. I have an almost photographic memory.

The thing is, that this issue is a hot button for me. When I am challenged, I usually fall right into that family-caused reaction: DEFENSE. I really truly try not to do this, but it happens all the time.

This [conversation I had that triggered this post] was a light bulb moment for me because I finally felt the intellectual part of me and the visceral part of me connect. Intellectually, I’ve known that I do this, but emotionally I couldn’t stop it. Now I feel that perhaps I can nip my reaction in the bud before I act like an asshole. My emotions have finally caught up with my intellect – at least for this one thing.

Considering the other gazillion character flaws that need to be addressed, hell, I’ll take every little bit of growth I can get! Of course I know I’ll fuck up and wear the asshat again, but hopefully, it’ll be a while – and it’ll be for some other issue other than my “I’m Not An Idiot Just Because My Family Says I Am” issue. :-)