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Saints, Birthdays and Sinners

Happy All Saints’ Day!

As you probably know, I missed the Jody Halloween Party this year due to strep throat. I was very bummed and depressed to miss this fete, since it’s the event of the season and all, but I did. In an odd way, it was good that I was so terribly sick because it kept distracting me from the fact that I was missing a fabulous party with all my friends. So, to assuage my lack of Halloween party depression, we went out last night. I didn’t do a real costume, I just put on a little Indian top/skirt that I bought recently and did up the black eyeliner and bindis – voila! Instant costume. It was an OK time, but for the most part Decatur was very subdued. I hate when Halloween is in the middle of the week. I did get to see Jody all dolled up for his annual costume contest gauntlet. This year, he made the Bjork swan dress, complete with egg! LOL! I just love Jody’s creativity! Give that boy a glue gun and stand back!!

With Halloween a memory, now is the time to brace myself for another birthday. I love birthdays – presents!! – but I’m becoming acutely aware of my age and the lack of any big accomplishments in my life for someone with my, uh, wisdom. I know I’m a late bloomer, but…

Dani couldn’t wait for my birthday, so she gave me the gift early. It’s a covered journal with sea green silk in a butterfly pattern. Pretty! Nick got me tix to see Beth Orton on Sunday Nov 10 and that will be great fun!

It’s that time again: time to vote on Tuesday Nov 5 (the sinners section). The political ads here in Georgia (and everywhere, I suppose) are completely out of control. It’s enough to drive anyone from ever voting again. Lies on top of lies and meanspirited backbiting. Ugh. But still, we must ignore all of it and vote for each candidate on his or her record and ability to carry out the job s/he is vying for. It appears that I’ll be voting mostly democrat as usual. I detest the 2 party system and I wish it would be abolished – right along with the Electoral College. I think they should put all the candidates on the ticket with no party affiliations at all and see what happens. Heh, bet that would fuck up the old geezers who just look for the (R)! It’s just what we need, IMO.

I also want to mention some of my views about health care in this country, while I’m on the subject of politics.

I’m rarely sick, but when I get something, I usually get it intensely like I did this last weekend. I do not believe in health insurance, having been thru the HMO wringer back when I had a real job. I was treated like meat by the doctor and the filthy testing facilities (SmithKline, N. Decatur Rd.) were run by fatassed black women who were more interested in their BBQ wings (sitting conveniently on the testing counter) than giving quality care. It was a horror. Since that experience, I’ve refused to participate in that pathetic excuse for health care.

So, when I’m sick, if I can’t fix it with herbs and supplements, I have to go to the Dekalb Health Clinic. I’ve used the Dekalb Family Planning Clinic for my yearly gyno exam for about 10 years and I love it. I see the same nurse practitioner every year and everyone is just great. It’s clean, the admins and nurses are friendly and there is NO attitude. Everyone is there to help – imagine that! I go in, get prodded, chat with the nurse and walk out with 12 months of pills in my hand. Since I’m po’ this usually costs me under $50. Really.

The funny thing is that I’m usually the only white girl there. I don’t know how it is everywhere else (probably the same), but in Atlanta, only blacks and hispanics use the public health facilities. I find it puzzling that the majority of the population has no clue that there is health care available without using HMOs or ERs. Yes, the clinics are geared for lower income people, but the sliding scale is good for everyone. If you make too much money, you just pay the full price. I had never been to the Adult Primary Care Clinic before (I’m rarely sick) but it was as nice of an experience as the Family Planning clinic. It’s too bad that the stigma of low rent ghetto keeps people who need healthcare out of these clinics and in the horror show of HMOs.

I think it’s a sin for anyone in the richest country in the world to go without health care. Call me a socialist, I don’t care! Health care and education should be for anyone who needs or wants it. It’s an abomination for people to pay $100 a month for health insurance that won’t even cover 100%! Nick’s HMO is like this and they want another $100/mo to add me to it! Of course, I say fuck that. They can shove their $1200/yr fees for ZERO benefits. The one time I was sick and actually used my HMO, not only did I not get any relief at all, but I could never get my medical records because the cunts who ran the office could never find them again! Can you imagine!?! I added it up and that ONE office visit cost me about $600 in premiums to that piece of shit HMO. Oh, yeah, now that’s value. I simply cannot believe that the American people are such gimps that they’ll put up with this constant ass fucking. It astounds me.

If everyone would simply say NO to HMOs and take all that wasted money and put it into a healthcare fund, I think we could probably pay for a non-profit health system straight up.

My parents and my car insurance guy (car insurance is another RACKET that I’ll rant about another day) are horrified that I refuse to have medical insurance. They perpetuate the fear that if you don’t have insurance you will die on the side of the road if you’re in an accident. That is total bullshit. 100% bullshit. Not only will you get cared for no matter what, but if you can’t pay, you can’t pay. That’s what PUBLIC hospitals are for, people!! That is why we CANNOT allow our health care system to be privatized (any more than it already is). For-profit medicine is wrong and should be stopped in its tracks. It is the same idea as making all schools for-profit. It’s wrong and it should not happen. As it is, if you are unlucky enough to be taken to a for-profit hospital in an emergency, they can prosecute you just like any other business to get their money.

My question is: if you are seriously injured, then why does anyone care about the money in the first place? Shouldn’t a person’s welfare be more important than making a buck?

I’m also astounded by how little people know about their own health care. Americans have become so dependent upon the media and the 5 minute care of their HMO doctors that they don’t even know what meds they are on or why. I think that allowing drug companies to hawk their wares in TV ads is ludicrous! I can’t see that it’s any different than the liquor and cigarette companies hawking their crap! The Public does NOT need to be told how sick they are and which pills they need.

If someone is chronically ill, then he should work closely with his doctor to handle that illness. I always laugh at the end of these drug commercials when they say “tell your doctor what other drugs you are taking…”. Um, hello, but shoudn’t your doctor already know what you’re on?? Jesus! It’s insane! People do not have a clue about their health or any sort of prevention of disease. My grandmother (and my mother, too) is a prime example of the fucking that you’ll get if you don’t stay in control of your own health care. She takes drugs for the few ailments she has: arthritis, thyroid, allergies. I was looking over her scrips one day and I noticed that she had a bottle of ibuprofen. I asked her if she knew what it was and of course she didn’t. I asked her how much she paid for this and she said it was about $40/mo. I told her that it was a common over the counter analgesic and she could save her money by buying it off the shelf. She was horrified that I’d suggest such a thing and indignant that I would dare question her doctor. To her, it is a necessary medication that will get rid of her arthritis. The sad thing is that she is not even on any of the new anti-inflammatory drugs [NSAID] on the market that could ease her pain and really help her.

I’m concerned by this total lack of responsibility for one’s own health and I find that many, many people have it. I can take care of myself, thankyouverymuch. I know my body and I know what it will respond to. I don’t feel that this is odd, to the contrary, I feel that everyone should be responsible for the one thing that is truly yours: your body. People are wandering around out there without a clue about themselves. Women have babies without any idea of pregnancy. Children have asthma because they are raised in polluted cities with parents who smoke 2 packs a day around them. Old women suffer osteoporosis because they never once exercised or took a vitamin. Well, DUH!!!! Get a fucking clue, people!

I mean, how hard is it to take a couple of supplements? My mother has found the wonder of glucosamine supplements for her 30+ yr old horse, but wouldn’t think of taking it for her own arthritis pain. How idiotic is that? My mother also has severe osteoporosis (90% loss in some places), but will not listen to a word I say about supplements, diet and the importance of exercise for her condition. Her oh-so-concerned doctor has her on a crappy over the counter calcium supplement, but has not discussed the newer drugs for reversing osteoporosis or suggested that she exercise to strengthen her bones. Am I the only person that thinks this is fucked up?

Sometimes it feels like I am the only person who even notices any of this. Maybe it’s because I have enough sense to stick to what’s important, rather than what that sabre-rattling moron in Washington would prefer that I focus on.

[This post is STILL relevant 13 years later. How sad is THAT? Obamacare is shit. -A 2015]

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Crazy job tricks

4:30pm

This has been one fucker of a nasty Mercury retrograde! Everything has gone to hell in a handbasket, it seems.

I had a run in with a nazi-like woman who hired me on Saturday, then went ballistic on me when I showed up for work this morning. I simply asked her if she was going to use my company for her Mac support needs or if she expected me to do it for $10/hr (it didn’t matter, I just needed to know), and she had a complete meltdown. I spent the whole morning on pins and needles and then she yelled at me again for wanting to move a computer to a different desk. I left for lunch and decided that I’d most likely quit when I returned. Fortunately, it was unnecessary, she cut me a check for $100 and I left. Isn’t that the weirdest thing ever? Oh, well, at least I made $100 out of it, which is about what I’d make on a short Mac call. Hell, better this way than a week from now, when my position at the restaurant is filled and then I’d have NO job at all. The restaurant manager was so happy that I wasn’t leaving that it somehow seems appropriate that I stay. At least I’m appreciated there!

I’m totally feeling unappreciated these days across the board: home, friends, work, universe. It seems that everything I do turns to shit in some way. I don’t think I have the facts to back that up, but that’s the way it feels! Eh, maybe it’s just PMS…

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Teddy Roosevelt quote

5:40pm

Allen sent me this quote today and I thought it should be up for everyone to read and contemplate:


“The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile. TO ANNOUNCE THAT THERE MUST BE NO CRITICISM OF THE PRESIDENT, OR THAT WE ARE TO STAND BY THE PRESIDENT, RIGHT OR WRONG, IS NOT ONLY UNPATRIOTIC AND SERVILE, BUT IS MORALLY TREASONABLE TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

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Beach Trip Revelations

So. Last time I ranted at all of you and then, THEN I ran away from home. Yes, I ran away to the beach for some much needed R&R to clear my head. It was the week of 9/11 and everywhere the energy was all jittery, plus a Mercury Retrograde was coming up on top of that. Not a good combo. So, I got in my car, like I do when I need to get the fuck AWAY, and I drove to Charleston, SC. It’s a nice, easy 5 hour drive that ends at the Beach. Aaaahhhhh.

I ate smoked turkey, croissants, cheese and poptarts. I drank wine and beer. I walked a lot and I thought a lot. I did Sun Salutations in the sand and gathered up some shells and seaweed. I took some awesome pix [see the Gallery]. It’s always amazing to me how much the ocean and beach restores my sanity!

Now that I’ve done that and I feel mostly back to normal, I thought I’d try to write some of the thoughts that came to me as I walked those miles on the beach. One thing that occurred to me was that no matter what it is, no matter how big of a deal it is to us humans, the Earth goes on. The world moves on. The ocean still ebbs and flows and the stars still shine each night. I was thinking about September 11 and I realized that as bad as it was, the planets still orbit the sun and the order of the Universe is not bothered at all. I’m not belittling that event, hell no, I cried about it again, I’m just pointing out perspective. I think Stevie Nicks says it well in the song Planets of the Universe:

And the Planets of the Universe
Go their way.
Not astounded by the sun or the moon
or by the day.

Those buildings and those people are gone, gone, gone. There is not one thing we can do about that. But what we can do is elect politicians who will lead this country and this world into the future with integrity and thoughtfulness and farsightedness. We can try to be as fair as we can to our fellow humans. We can hold ourselves to high standards and expect the same of others. We can be true to ourselves. We can tell the truth. We can be strong enough to bear the truth. We can follow our hearts’ desires. We can be happy. We can show each other our true selves and expect the best from each other.

I know that I am hella difficult at times. I know that I expect a lot from people. I know I have zero tact. I do try to be tactful, it just never seems to work out for me! What I really think always ends up coming out my mouth or my emails or my Rants and it usually does this in the most blunt way possible – much to my chagrin. But at least I try to live what I blab about all the time! I vote for the politicians who are the lesser of the evils. I do not spend my money with companies who do bad things to animals or the Earth. I boycott stores, products and even TV channels who do stupid shit and won’t rectify the situation. I recycle. I take care of my pets (spay and neuter, people!). I drive an efficient car. I fill out my donor card. I know I’m just one little person, but I figure if 1,000,000 other little people do the same then it’ll add up to something, right?

Isn’t that all we can do in this life? We can do our best and live life to the fullest, because you just never know when your time is up and you’ll be gone, gone, gone.

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Nature vs Nurture

The topic is nature vs nurture, with a bit of ageism thrown in for good measure. One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is how I relate to 20 year olds. Since I’m working in a restaurant, I’m around many 18-22 year olds and I find myself constantly amazed by their immaturity, bad decisions and apparent lack of upbringing.

So, the question is this: Are 20 year olds stupid by nature, or are 20 year olds these days more disconnected and aimless than we were (nurture)?

I’ve thought about the way I behaved when I was 20-ish and yes, I ran around, worked in restaurants, partied like a dawg and had a great time. What I did not do was become a junkie, get DUIs, get knocked up, be in porn, get arrested, lie, cheat, steal, and let men beat me. I mean, DAMN, the shit that 20 year olds get into now makes the ’80s look like the fucking ’50s!! Am I just old, or are the kids really fucked up now?

For instance, even at my wildest, I would have never, ever called into my job and told them I was in an auto accident just to get a couple of days off. I would, um, ask off in advance or work it out. At my most codependent, I would have NEVER let a man beat me. At my peak druggie phase I would have never become a junkie – oh, and most certainly not because I dated one! At my most crazed, I always had a plan. They may not have panned out as well as I liked, if at all, but I always valued myself and kept on trying things out to see where I belonged.

It seems to me that the 20 year olds I meet are far more beaten down, worldly and cynical than I was. They have already done all the drugs, sex and rock ‘n roll that is available by age 15 and it wasn’t enough, so they just float from job to job, class to class, drug to heavier drug. It’s like the line from Traffic: “Drugs are much easier to get than alcohol”. I’ll say. Hell, we were livin’ large if we had a 6 of Busch beer and a joint when I was 18 or 20! I hear about kids doing coke, meth, heroin and ecstasy all at once! YIKES!

Is it lack of parental control? Has political correctness and all that crap made parents afraid to parent? I think my parents sucked at raising me, but at least they tried. They bitched at me, they tried to instill some sort of morals, they went ballistic when they found a roach on a clip in the car. My mother would spank us when we were little (all of about 3 times, but still) and I have to say that I don’t feel traumatized in the least. As a matter of fact, my brother and I behaved nicely because we knew that our mother would beat us if we acted like little heathens the way little kids do now. I ended up rejecting about 97% of everything they ever taught me, but at least they taught me something to reject! If you have no input to start with, then how can you begin to compare different lifestyles, religions, etc.?

I see 20 year old ex-junkies, 20 year olds with 4 kids, 20 year olds with 3 DUIs, 20 year olds who live like pack animals in their own filth… I mean DAMN, man, what the hell is going on? Jesus, if I’d been around peers like that, I guess I’d have ended up fucked up, too! How the fuck can you have 2 exes and be a recovering junkie at 20??

Bad judgment, no sense, immaturity, yes these things are to be expected from a 20 year old. Constant drama from the bad decisions, etc., can also be expected. But the rest of the bullshit that I see can NOT be attributed to simple stupidity. These kids appear to have had absolutely no input about life issues at all. How can you be 20 and have no idea how to pick up after yourself, take a bath or wash your clothes? How can you be so wrung out that you have to do 5 different drugs at the same time just to feel something? You’ve not even lived yet!

Was I the exception to the normal behaviour of 20 year olds when I was that age? If so, then why did I not know one single junkie? Or porno star? Or smelly, nasty person who never washed themselves or their clothes? If it is nature, then how can it be so different now?

Was I just lucky to have been born with very good instincts and a lot of common sense? I think that’s part of it, sure, but I think I was taught some basic skills from my parents. My mother would have beaten me into next week if I’d have attempted to be a nasty, smelly, drug addled HO. It just wasn’t an option. I could smoke and drink, but even that was frowned upon and discouraged for the most part. Sex was most definitely frowned upon, but only for me, the female, not my little brother who could fuck as much as he wanted. At home. In his room. Asshole! Oops, another Rant fer sure…

So, is it just the nature of 20 year olds to be seriously fucked up or is it the way the 20 year olds today were nurtured by their namby pamby, wussy ’80s parents?

I think it’s nurture. What do you think?