Saints, Birthdays and Sinners

Happy All Saints’ Day!

As you probably know, I missed the Jody Halloween Party this year due to strep throat. I was very bummed and depressed to miss this fete, since it’s the event of the season and all, but I did. In an odd way, it was good that I was so terribly sick because it kept distracting me from the fact that I was missing a fabulous party with all my friends. So, to assuage my lack of Halloween party depression, we went out last night. I didn’t do a real costume, I just put on a little Indian top/skirt that I bought recently and did up the black eyeliner and bindis – voila! Instant costume. It was an OK time, but for the most part Decatur was very subdued. I hate when Halloween is in the middle of the week. I did get to see Jody all dolled up for his annual costume contest gauntlet. This year, he made the Bjork swan dress, complete with egg! LOL! I just love Jody’s creativity! Give that boy a glue gun and stand back!!

With Halloween a memory, now is the time to brace myself for another birthday. I love birthdays – presents!! – but I’m becoming acutely aware of my age and the lack of any big accomplishments in my life for someone with my, uh, wisdom. I know I’m a late bloomer, but…

Dani couldn’t wait for my birthday, so she gave me the gift early. It’s a covered journal with sea green silk in a butterfly pattern. Pretty! Nick got me tix to see Beth Orton on Sunday Nov 10 and that will be great fun!

It’s that time again: time to vote on Tuesday Nov 5 (the sinners section). The political ads here in Georgia (and everywhere, I suppose) are completely out of control. It’s enough to drive anyone from ever voting again. Lies on top of lies and meanspirited backbiting. Ugh. But still, we must ignore all of it and vote for each candidate on his or her record and ability to carry out the job s/he is vying for. It appears that I’ll be voting mostly democrat as usual. I detest the 2 party system and I wish it would be abolished – right along with the Electoral College. I think they should put all the candidates on the ticket with no party affiliations at all and see what happens. Heh, bet that would fuck up the old geezers who just look for the (R)! It’s just what we need, IMO.

I also want to mention some of my views about health care in this country, while I’m on the subject of politics.

I’m rarely sick, but when I get something, I usually get it intensely like I did this last weekend. I do not believe in health insurance, having been thru the HMO wringer back when I had a real job. I was treated like meat by the doctor and the filthy testing facilities (SmithKline, N. Decatur Rd.) were run by fatassed black women who were more interested in their BBQ wings (sitting conveniently on the testing counter) than giving quality care. It was a horror. Since that experience, I’ve refused to participate in that pathetic excuse for health care.

So, when I’m sick, if I can’t fix it with herbs and supplements, I have to go to the Dekalb Health Clinic. I’ve used the Dekalb Family Planning Clinic for my yearly gyno exam for about 10 years and I love it. I see the same nurse practitioner every year and everyone is just great. It’s clean, the admins and nurses are friendly and there is NO attitude. Everyone is there to help – imagine that! I go in, get prodded, chat with the nurse and walk out with 12 months of pills in my hand. Since I’m po’ this usually costs me under $50. Really.

The funny thing is that I’m usually the only white girl there. I don’t know how it is everywhere else (probably the same), but in Atlanta, only blacks and hispanics use the public health facilities. I find it puzzling that the majority of the population has no clue that there is health care available without using HMOs or ERs. Yes, the clinics are geared for lower income people, but the sliding scale is good for everyone. If you make too much money, you just pay the full price. I had never been to the Adult Primary Care Clinic before (I’m rarely sick) but it was as nice of an experience as the Family Planning clinic. It’s too bad that the stigma of low rent ghetto keeps people who need healthcare out of these clinics and in the horror show of HMOs.

I think it’s a sin for anyone in the richest country in the world to go without health care. Call me a socialist, I don’t care! Health care and education should be for anyone who needs or wants it. It’s an abomination for people to pay $100 a month for health insurance that won’t even cover 100%! Nick’s HMO is like this and they want another $100/mo to add me to it! Of course, I say fuck that. They can shove their $1200/yr fees for ZERO benefits. The one time I was sick and actually used my HMO, not only did I not get any relief at all, but I could never get my medical records because the cunts who ran the office could never find them again! Can you imagine!?! I added it up and that ONE office visit cost me about $600 in premiums to that piece of shit HMO. Oh, yeah, now that’s value. I simply cannot believe that the American people are such gimps that they’ll put up with this constant ass fucking. It astounds me.

If everyone would simply say NO to HMOs and take all that wasted money and put it into a healthcare fund, I think we could probably pay for a non-profit health system straight up.

My parents and my car insurance guy (car insurance is another RACKET that I’ll rant about another day) are horrified that I refuse to have medical insurance. They perpetuate the fear that if you don’t have insurance you will die on the side of the road if you’re in an accident. That is total bullshit. 100% bullshit. Not only will you get cared for no matter what, but if you can’t pay, you can’t pay. That’s what PUBLIC hospitals are for, people!! That is why we CANNOT allow our health care system to be privatized (any more than it already is). For-profit medicine is wrong and should be stopped in its tracks. It is the same idea as making all schools for-profit. It’s wrong and it should not happen. As it is, if you are unlucky enough to be taken to a for-profit hospital in an emergency, they can prosecute you just like any other business to get their money.

My question is: if you are seriously injured, then why does anyone care about the money in the first place? Shouldn’t a person’s welfare be more important than making a buck?

I’m also astounded by how little people know about their own health care. Americans have become so dependent upon the media and the 5 minute care of their HMO doctors that they don’t even know what meds they are on or why. I think that allowing drug companies to hawk their wares in TV ads is ludicrous! I can’t see that it’s any different than the liquor and cigarette companies hawking their crap! The Public does NOT need to be told how sick they are and which pills they need.

If someone is chronically ill, then he should work closely with his doctor to handle that illness. I always laugh at the end of these drug commercials when they say “tell your doctor what other drugs you are taking…”. Um, hello, but shoudn’t your doctor already know what you’re on?? Jesus! It’s insane! People do not have a clue about their health or any sort of prevention of disease. My grandmother (and my mother, too) is a prime example of the fucking that you’ll get if you don’t stay in control of your own health care. She takes drugs for the few ailments she has: arthritis, thyroid, allergies. I was looking over her scrips one day and I noticed that she had a bottle of ibuprofen. I asked her if she knew what it was and of course she didn’t. I asked her how much she paid for this and she said it was about $40/mo. I told her that it was a common over the counter analgesic and she could save her money by buying it off the shelf. She was horrified that I’d suggest such a thing and indignant that I would dare question her doctor. To her, it is a necessary medication that will get rid of her arthritis. The sad thing is that she is not even on any of the new anti-inflammatory drugs [NSAID] on the market that could ease her pain and really help her.

I’m concerned by this total lack of responsibility for one’s own health and I find that many, many people have it. I can take care of myself, thankyouverymuch. I know my body and I know what it will respond to. I don’t feel that this is odd, to the contrary, I feel that everyone should be responsible for the one thing that is truly yours: your body. People are wandering around out there without a clue about themselves. Women have babies without any idea of pregnancy. Children have asthma because they are raised in polluted cities with parents who smoke 2 packs a day around them. Old women suffer osteoporosis because they never once exercised or took a vitamin. Well, DUH!!!! Get a fucking clue, people!

I mean, how hard is it to take a couple of supplements? My mother has found the wonder of glucosamine supplements for her 30+ yr old horse, but wouldn’t think of taking it for her own arthritis pain. How idiotic is that? My mother also has severe osteoporosis (90% loss in some places), but will not listen to a word I say about supplements, diet and the importance of exercise for her condition. Her oh-so-concerned doctor has her on a crappy over the counter calcium supplement, but has not discussed the newer drugs for reversing osteoporosis or suggested that she exercise to strengthen her bones. Am I the only person that thinks this is fucked up?

Sometimes it feels like I am the only person who even notices any of this. Maybe it’s because I have enough sense to stick to what’s important, rather than what that sabre-rattling moron in Washington would prefer that I focus on.

[This post is STILL relevant 13 years later. How sad is THAT? Obamacare is shit. -A 2015]

Teddy Roosevelt quote


Allen sent me this quote today and I thought it should be up for everyone to read and contemplate:

“The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile. TO ANNOUNCE THAT THERE MUST BE NO CRITICISM OF THE PRESIDENT, OR THAT WE ARE TO STAND BY THE PRESIDENT, RIGHT OR WRONG, IS NOT ONLY UNPATRIOTIC AND SERVILE, BUT IS MORALLY TREASONABLE TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

Where, oh Where Has My Sanity Gone?

Today is one of those days that tries my patience. I woke up feeling groggy and vaguely stressed out. The stress progressed until I was truly feeling stressed and tired by 11am. I cut out of work early (12:45p) because it appeared that the lunch rush was over, but as I waited for my tofu and veggies another rush came and I just HAD to get out of there! I grabbed my food, tossed some cash on the bar and literally scampered to my car! What the hell is wrong with me?

I had a Chakra Healing session yesterday with Rebecca and I think that has upset the proverbial apple cart. Now, before you go and accuse me of being all nutty-granola, let me explain that I often try out (for free) new kinds of energy healing just to see what will happen. The last one, Divine Light, was a big zero, but this one was really REAL. I truly felt stuff come up and I felt the energy bouncing around as Rebecca worked! I felt somewhat tired and disoriented when we were done, but today just sucks. I feel like I’ve slipped back into neurosis!

Anyway, I know what is going on. It’s my old friend fear. Yep, whenever things start to go well for me, I get all freaked out and spastic. I’m waiting on a BIG contract gig to get signed and delivered and it’s making me insane. Why do I have to constantly put myself through this hell of self doubt? Why? Am I not beyond that by now? Apparently not.

So, in this state of flux, I feel the need to write. Quite a few things have been on my mind lately. I think I’ll start with a subject that is near and dear to my heart: sex. It’s always a shock to me to realize that 95%+ of people in the world spend their whole lives without any decent sex. I’m even shocked when some bible thumpers get their knickers in a twist over a little nudity in a play at Kennesaw State College. My GAWD, this is a college fer chrissakes (a shitty one, but still)! Adults go to school there! What the fuck? Granted I am in Georgia, the buckle on the Bible Belt, but DAMN. I just don’t get it. I think people are very immature and silly about sex and nudity. Grow the fuck up. Geez.

Politics always get me ranty, but I’ll point out just one politician that makes me absolutely postal: Cynthia McKinney (D 4th GA), imbecile and loudmouth. Her latest idiotic claim that GeeDubya knew about the 9.11 attacks is just one more in a long list of stupid, irrational things that she has said. There is another black woman (Denise Majette) gunning for the 4th district and I hope she gets it. [She did, thankfully. – A] But, I suppose the darling of the ACLU, McKinney, will get elected again by the same morons who’ve kept her in office for FIVE fucking terms. I can tell you fer sure, it ain’t white people. This district is mostly black and for some inexplicable reason, McKinney is adored by the black community here. I just can’t figure out why, exactly. I am praying for an upset at the next election.

I’m reading the latest collection of short stories by Stephen King: Everything’s Eventual. It’s really a great collection. I have always loved short stories and I think King is the modern master of the genre. In his prologue, he mentions that short stories will probably be a lost genre soon, since the publishers are not interested in them. WHY, I can’t understand! I would think that a short story would be perfect for the minuscule attention spans of people today. But, anyway, he recommends a couple of other collections: Sam the Cat by Matthew Klam and The Hotel Eden by Ron Carlson. I intend to buy them and you should, too, if you like the short story format. There is a rather long story in this collection which is an offshoot of the Dark Tower – complete with Roland as the main character. Yum! Now I must go back and reread the Dark Tower books to prepare for the release of the 5th installment this year! It’s called Wolves of the Calla and I’m drooling for it! I’m such a King junkie, it’s really disturbing. He is now saying that the DT series will be seven books, but I’m hoping for more.

I really love ICQ. It’s a nice little client that rarely causes trouble with any other software and it’s cool to be able to harass Nick at work! [We’ve moved on to iChat & Adium – A] I have to say the same for StripCam, the software that takes snapshots with my crappy webcam and uploads them. [I’ve moved to EvoCam now, and it’s much better. -> Now I use Photo Booth! -A 2015] Rarely an issue. Now, I cannot say the same for Palm, Inc. I am really pissed at them! Their support sucks big hairy donkey balls. My little m100 began to have the well-documented digitizer-drift problem (that is denied by Palm), which is supposed to be fixable by a simple calibration, but it just didn’t happen for my Palm. When I’d go into the calibration application, it would go into a loop and I’d have to reset to get out. This occurred after many hard resets, new system installs, upgrades and even a third party calibration program was installed. I’m so bummed. :-( Now I have to strip it down and send it back for an exchange. Wah. Six months this one has lasted, when the Palm III I gave to Andy was several YEARS old and never had an issue other than an age-related short that made it turn off by itself. Not good, Palm. I knew I shoulda gotten a fucking Visor. The support is totally nonexistent and even the email I got from the CSR to confirm my exchange request was fucked up by the Palm email system. Gawd. [Palm is long gone now in 2015. -A]

I feel better now. Writing always calms my nerves. I wish I was a better writer and could produce more than stream-of-consciousness essays, but unfortunately my talent lies in instructional manuals, not prose. Ask me about Macs or herbs and I’ll write you a very detailed, complete and focused tome, but anything literary, well, NO. Ah, well, at least I know my strengths!

Here is a proverb from the Tao Te Ching for you to meditate upon until my next Rant:

I have three treasures which I guard and keep:
The first is compassion.
The second is economy.
The third is humility.
From compassion comes courage,
From economy comes the means to generosity,
And from humility comes responsible leadership.

Patriot Act

Well, here it is, folks. The “Patriot Act” that our senators just passed to “Keep America Safe”. Heh, “give The Man the power to entrap your ass, rifle thru your belongings at will and do pretty much whatever the hell they want to do in the name of anti terrorism” is more like it. It ain’t right, folks, it just ain’t right. [We are still dealing with this in 2015. The government has more power than ever. It is WRONG. And now, in 2017 we have a fascist in the White House. Are we seeing a pattern here? -A]

As I’ve said before, we must be vigilant to ensure that the government doesn’t run rampant right now, while our attention is diverted. It’s a politician’s DREAM to have carte blanche to institute whatever laws he wants in order to inflict his will upon the masses. Politicians are megalomanics who thrive on getting in the history books, people! I am NOT a member of the ACLU, nor do I typically support their silliness, but in this matter, I am damned upset about the total absence of voters asking, um, you guys want to do what?? I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t want cops or the Feds to have the ability to look at any and all of my personal info without cause or a warrant! Geez, HELLO, is anyone awake?

Listen, we’ve got to stop this obsession about crazies writing silly notes on an airplane and concentrate on making it harder to accomplish terrorism but with our way of life and our civil liberties intact. If we allow the reactionaries in Washington to institute these new laws without so much as a NAY, then we’ve lost. Period. America is about FREEDOM and our civil liberties ARE our freedoms. It’s what makes this country great and we cannot, CANNOT let those freedoms be compromised.

 So, boys and girls, it’s time to get out your Crayolas and write your Representative to ensure that this heinous bill goes no farther without serious retooling. It just takes a minute, so do it. NOW. Are you still reading? What are you waiting for, GO fer cryin out loud!!

Roe v Wade 28th Anniversary

Well, Geedubya is in office and there is much rejoicing in the ranks of the ignorant masses who really think that the president gives a rat’s ass about abortion rights. It’s just another spin issue for ole Geedubya – or any other MAN in charge. All the politicians want is to do what the other party is NOT doing. I saw the pictures of the “christians” sitting on the Capitol steps praying that women’s rights be taken back 28 years and it made me cringe.

I am not pointing the finger solely at Christians, but it seems that religious beliefs are one of the major causes of excessive moralizing and berating others who choose a different path. It seems very UNchristian to wish death upon those who make choices that are not the same as what dogma would suggest. It also seems Unchristian that these very same protesters are not adopting all the unwanted children that result from women who do not get abortions yet cannot or will not take care of the children that they bear. I’ve always thought it very clever for the church to be against abortion and birth control. When’s the last time you saw a black crack baby in a middle class Baptist’s home? Or an inner city Catholic family?

Who is supposed to care for all these children that Operation Rescue works so hard to keep alive? Apparently not Operation Rescue.

And as far as that goes, since when is it acceptable to commit murder of a doctor or anyone just because she does not have the same belief system as the murderer? Hmm, I thought murder was a mortal sin.

I have been harassed for going to a public clinic myself. Never mind that I was there for a regular checkup. Never mind that most of the women were there for just run of the mill stuff. Oh no, that made no difference to the dumbass MAN that was posted outside the clinic to scream at people going in and out. And what the blue fuck does a MAN have to say about it in the first place?? This is in no way a male issue. Men have no business even discussing it much less demonstrating and harassing women about it. I think it’s even a little weird that men want to be gynecologists or OB doctors. Men have no idea what being female is about, what having menstrual pain is about or what having children is about. They really have no place in this realm at all, in my opinion.

I’ve also been accosted by a mob of demonstrators as well. I took a friend of mine for an abortion and the crowd tried to trap my car in the lot. So I just pressed the accelerator and watched them jump back in horror. I have to say that their screams of fear gave me more than a little pleasure. My friend was going through a bad divorce and found out she was pregnant. There was no way she could care for another child (she had a toddler already) and she was quite upset over the whole thing. It was an all round horrible experience and those idiots outside just added fuel to the fire. I was very afraid that they [the crowd] were going to bash my car, but fortunately they did not.

Most women I know have always had the right to choose what to do with their bodies. We have never had to worry about death from a botched abortion. I think we take this right for granted. Did you know that the percentage of the American public that think abortion should NOT be legal has become dangerously close to the percentage of those of us who think it should be legal? That is very disturbing to me. And it should be disturbing to all of us who enjoy our freedom. This is from CNN:

“An exit poll in the presidential election found more voters favored keeping abortion legal, 55 percent to 42 percent. But only 20 percent thought it should be legal in all cases and 35 percent said it should be legal in most cases. ” (The link WAS:, but it is gone now, unfortunately. – A)

And while I’m on a ranty roll, I’d like to say that Geedubya is a little weenie moron who knows very few details about what goes on in the US government, yet feels that he should still be able to run things. I’ve already heard him compared to Ronnie I’m-a-vegetable Reagan. Oh, god, now *that* really makes me cringe. Trickle Down Economics, anyone?