Welcome to Dumbfuckistan!

Welcome to Dumbfuckistan (formerly the United States of America)! All brown people, please proceed to your left to the detention area. No, having a green card makes no difference, please go to detention. All white people please proceed to the Citizenship Police windows with your passport, ID and all social media accounts open.

Once you are cleared by the Citizenship Police, please deposit all compassion, intelligence, fact checking, common sense and patriotism in the designated receptacles. You will not need these things in Dumbfuckistan and furthermore, they are frowned upon.

Please proceed to the kiosks to pick up your gun and bible, along with a complimentary copies of “How to Properly Utilize Hate Speech and Alternative Facts”, and “How to Identify a Terrorist: It’s As Easy as Looking at Skin Colour and Clothing!”. Included is an essay by our esteemed President on the proper way to deal with females entitled “Bitches 101: Just Grab ‘Em!”.

Now that you are prepared to enter Dumbfuckistan, please exit through the gift shop ($50 minimum) where you will buy Presidential merchandise to make Dumbfuckistan great! (100% profits go to our esteemed President.)

Have a nice day!